Why is he doing this to me?

My boyfriend of three years broke up with me last week. We had the closest relationship ever. Everything was perfect until one day he didn't call and that night he said he didn't have the same feelings for me anymore. I don't understand. It was so random.

Then one week later I find out he's sending messages to all these other girls asking to hang out and call or text him and he told them when he's coming home from break so they can party. I know he loves me still. And even if he has lost some feelings for me he can't move on that quick especially to girls he hasn't talked to in like 2 years. Why is he doing this to me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I tend to judge my fellow man kind of harshly, maybe cause I've seen a lot of guys not treating their girls well, but I can't completely talk down on all guys because I do know there are some decent ones out there. Given that you're in college or at least he is, out of state from what I can gather, then he's definitely being a dog. Breaking it off with you can't really translate into too much of how he may feel about you, because there are a lot of reasons why someone may want to leave a relationship. It hurts as a guy, but I kind of get why, that people always go for the fear of commitment. It's not always the issue and I hope people would drop it and actually try to find a better reason for breakups. Otherwise there's going to be a constant stream of people accusing other people of being unable to commit if they can't get the type of answer that they want.

    I'm not familiar with military school so I don't want to say anything that compares it too much to a regular college. I'm assuming that he's around a lot of other guys and that tends to lead to everyone trying to be all macho. Bragging about how many girls they've been with, you know, dick measuring contests to prove who's the alpha. Didn't mean it but it's fitting cause I get the impression he's capable of being a dog. I can't say anything about what his feelings may be because they're his own, but if he's planning hook ups with these other girls then you should for get about him.

    Don't think of it as doing things to hurt you, at least he wanted ended it before he did something serious with another person before hand. You're both still young, as are we who are trying to offer some advice, so you can't let this bring you down too much, nor should you dwell too much on the meaning of his actions. This may be my maleness talking but regardless of what he felt, he's done what he did, and since he's one day going to be a real man you may need to grit your teeth and respect his choice.

    I'm not sure if I've worded my response well enough to say what I mean and I apologize. But I hope, in the case of something negative happening, turn into a girl who would let this type of guy keep coming back.

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    • So you think even though we had a great relationship he would break up with me because he's trying to prove something?

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    • I would give anything to be able to get him off of my mind. He IMed me today asking what one of my away messages meant. And I wouldn't tell him and he got mad about it. But he's obviously still wondering what I'm up to.

    • If you feel he's allowed to keeps tabs on you like those other online girls, then it couldn't hurt for him to ask right? My dislike of people today may be a factor, but frick him, once you've decide he's no good. I do suggest finding more female responses.

What Guys Said 1

  • He's not interested in you anymore, I would try and move on.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Okay so he probably DOES love you but maybe he's scared of commitment. 3 years ago you started dating him. You were only 15. When you're 15 dating someone is all fun and games. Maybe he realizes that since you are both getting older he's just scared. The reason I say this is because my best friend and I used to be like that ALL the time. I loved him to death we used to flirt and everything. Now. 5 years later we're back on that lets just be friends track. I asked him why he told me that he's only 20 and doesn't want a serious relationship. It's understandable. But if your man is trying to date other people I can see how it raises a concern for you. I'd be concerned to. You should sit with him and have a serious talk and see what he comes up with. I hope I helped and I wish you the best of luck!

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    • Idk if its a commitment thing. He's at a military school and has his whole life planned out. And he doesn't want to talk about us or anything like that. So I know know how to fix things if he won't talk.

  • He might be doing it so that it can his mind stop thinking of you he tries to find ways so he cannot have you in his mind but sooner or later he's going to come back he's just using them so that he can get off this relationship that ended just give it time that all I can tell

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    • Why would he want to get me out of his mind. If you love someone why would you try to block them out and forget about them?

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