Why does it seem like he's hiding something?

I went out with this guy and it went well (not amazing but alright).

As I mentioned in my prev question, I don't know anything about this guy. And during the first date I tried to find out more about him but he seemed very reticent and unwilling to divulge much about himself.

It took a lot of effort from me to find out his age (he is older than me and working) and where he used to go to school but when I asked where he works at now, he refused to tell me and kept changing the subject.

During the date he also constantly brought up the topic of sex (as a general discussion topic not a personal one) and I felt that was inappropriate considering it is date #1.

My gut feeling is that he is dodgy/dubious and I'm not sure I want to go on a second date but here's my question:

1) Guys, do you think his secretive behavior is suspicious? What is the reason you would not tell a girl where you're working at?

2) Should I go with my gut feeling and not go on the second date?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He seems to be a lonely guy, desperately looking for sex. you are right about not going to second date

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    • Thanks! But do you think there is any other possible reason he's hiding information about himself? As in, should I give him the benefit of the doubt?

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    • It takes awhile for the Xper to reflect in your account! But here you go anyway:)

    • thank you so much :D

What Guys Said 3

  • It could be possible that he doesn't really have a good job to talk about and it could embarassed him. But he could have spent the first date without talking about sex, even in general. I guess. Anyways You should go with your gut feeling. Avoid him until you can figure out more about him. He probably was just looking for a casual relationship for sex.

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  • Usually guys who refuse to tell you what they do for a living are doing something shady. Most drug dealers and gangsters will also tell people that they are either in construction or self employed fwiw.

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  • Sounds like he is married or in a relationship.

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    • If that's the case why does he need to hide his job from me? His job doesn't say anything about his relationship status

What Girls Said 3

  • Walk away. If he's secretive about his personal life he has things to hide. He may be someone who's already in relationship and is looking for sex on the outside. Honest is critical in all functional relationships, so I think you've answered your own question.

    Would you want to be with someone who you don't trust almost immediately? If he's hiding things from you on the first date, he'll hide things in a potential relationship.

    Go with your gut feeling, you've already got bad vibes from him so find someone who makes you feel comfortable and is emotionally available for a honest, committed relationship with you.

    Plus, him throwing sex on the table that early was his way of very clearly communicating to you what he wanted out of the situation.

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    • My gut feeling is telling me not to go out with him on a second date but he's clearly still "into me" (for sex or whatever). How do you think I should turn down his second date request?

  • If date one isn't good and you already have issues with him why would you go on another!?

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  • No second date! He is DISGUSTING and RUDE to bring up sex on the first date.

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    • I thought so too but I was wondering if I was overreacting because he didn't specifically reference us two but he asked me things like if I watched p*rn. Bad?

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    • If you aleady made the date, tell him something came up that needs your attention (homework, babysit for a fam member, fam party, friend is sad and you need to be there for her and are having a sleepover, etc.). Once it's broken, just either stop talking to him, tell him the truth, or keep making excuses as to why you can't meet until he gets the hint, lol.

    • Haha, good one! Thanks for the advice:)

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