Do guys care if the girl is inexperienced at 21?

I feel old! I know 21 isn't that old but I'm such a late bloomer for everything. I barely decided my major at 21 so I have a lot more years to get a simple BS. and I won't be done there. I'm going for my masters and if I can, I'm hoping I can earn a PhD as well. I'm doing good in school though. and I'm barely getting my first actual job. I've been working since 18 but both jobs were paying me under the table. I worked as a cashier when I was 18 and I worked as a receptionist from 19 to now, and I was also babysitting from 20 to a couple of months ago. but my question isn't regarding my life experience. I know I'm so slow at adjusting! Growing up and adjusting to adulthood wasn't so easy for me. :(

My question is regarding my love life. It is nonexistent. I've never dated. I thought the guys I liked didn't like me. The truth is, it didn't matter if they did. I was too scared to date anyway. It isn't until I was 21 and I learned to love and understand myself, and gain a bit more confidence so I finally I felt I was ready to start dating. I used to be really shy around guys and had social anxiety but I forced myself to get over it and so now, I am a bit more normal. I'm still quiet and introverted but I can socialize a bit more, and I'm not shy around guys unless I like them. I can talk to them, but I still get nervous. the bravest thing I ever did was give a guy my number and tell him to call me so we can hang out. and he never called. I was so embarrassed.

So right now I like this guy and I think he likes me. he's always staring at me and tries to talk to me when he can and all that stuff. when I'm standing by him, his friends come and they act all weird. they look at him and then me and start to giggle. anyway, I was sitting down today, and I overheard the guy I like talking to his friend about his exes. I was like right by them so I heard it all! I just pretended I wasn't listening. Then they go quiet and his friend was like, "you should get her number." and they laughed alittle but it was quiet again.

idk if they were talking about me. I don't mean to be cocky but idk. it could be another girl. who knows. I'm not asking. ha ha but suppose they were talking about me. this guy has dated so many girls. and I think he's 19 and he was saying how he doesn't like 19 year old girls because they act like they're still in high school. so I don't know if he was saying they were inexperienced or something.

im wondering if being inexperienced is bad? is it a turn off? there's nothing I can do. I'm not going to go out and mess around with a bunch of guys to "get experience" but I'm just wondering. what would you think about someone like me who hasn't done anything at all?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't care if a girl is 25 and still inexperienced. If her head is straight if her personality is good and she has a normal body. That's what matters to me the most. You looking at things from a very different angle. You have to see it like this, you have 0 experience but the guy that you are dating likes you A LOT wouldn't you think that it would be cool to have all the fun and laughs with him about your non existing sexual life. Its not a bad thing it is a good thing. You just want to be like everybody else who lost their virginity at 15 an had like 40 boyfriends by the age of 20. YOU are normal and THEY are not. You should be happy for your self, because all other guys would be too.

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    • ok I hope so. I do think its kind of funny sometimes how I've never dated. I joke about it with my friends. I know we all have to start somewhere but I wasn't sure if guys were understanding about this if they are experienced.

    • Some people grow up faster, another later. Some guys and girls have tonnes of experience others 0. That's just part of life, you just have to be comfortable with your self and never doubt your self and compare your self to others. We are all different from each other and there is no rule that we have to be like everybody else, that's just ludicrous.

What Guys Said 5

  • No, experience is something I completely disregard... a lot of guys will swear by it. I find that it often makes no difference. If there is a difference, I don't believe it's got much to do with 'experience'. It'll be more down to confidence, if a girl is open minded and enthusiastic she's often completely fine. Lower confidence is noticeable and will affect other parts of the relationship. Again I've dated girls who were inexperienced but not short on confidence and they were better than 'experienced' girls I've dated. I'll probably take flak for it, since as I said, some guys swear by it and say 'oh, you don't know anything' or 'you haven't dated 'the right' type of girl'. Which is stupid, everything I mention is based on what I've experienced, to say it's 'not true' is stupid. Yes 'experienced' girls have more sexual confidence perhaps and will seem more confident and in control, but if an 'inexperienced' girl has the same attitude the whole thing is irrelevant. As for other myths people send my way, they tell me experienced girls are better at many things due to practice... again I've not always found that to be the case, I've been with experienced girls who were terrible at many things, and I've been with inexperienced girls who were awesome at them.

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    • awesome! that's good to know. It all has to do with confidence then. I'm kind of shy but if I'm around the right type of person, it goes away and I start to be myself. would that be a problem?

    • I personally have no problem with it... I mean I'm definitely not a confident guy, but I definitely become more confident as time goes on and I feel more comfortable around someone. So I obviously don't expect more from a partner since I personally can't better that.

  • Generally, for long term relationships guys care a lot about compatibility, but would actually prefer inexperience. However many guys at some age start concluding that they need to look for experienced women to increase the odds of compatibility. But if they came across a compatible inexperienced girl, they'd be delighted.

    For a hook up, guys may avoid inexperienced girls for a variety of reasons.

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  • I am kind of a quiet shy guy who is 24 and I've never dated . I kind of want an inexperienced girl. Don't worry you're young and you'll meet a guy soon

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    • well I kind of like the guy in my class but idk. it sounds like he's dated so many girls.

      i too wouldve preferred an inexperienced guy but those are hard to find.

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    • well, I talk to him sometimes. if he asks me something, I'll look for excuses to talk to him later in that class. we've never had an actual conversation. and I try to smile at him now.

    • Those are good first steps

  • Might bother some, but you don't want to date them anyway

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  • no I'm good

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