Are these valid reasons or excuses for not wanting a girlfriend?

This guy and I met off a dating site and he was looking for a girlfriend and we do "click" - both our hearts race, he gets a boner, etc..and weboth feel relaxed in each others company. there's a mutal attraction right from day 1. We have been intimate and he enjoyed. he's 27 years old. Always asks questions about when I finish college, get to know me.

However he does have a medical problem and the doctors aren't able to find what's wrong with him - something with his he has a hectic work schedule as an accountant. His jb is difficult for him and he feels depressed.

He did however come forward and he met my mom - he wanted to, and he explained the situation. He also told my mom tht he cares about me and all thses other nice things about me.

Are these valid reasons?

  • Valid / sincere
    Vote A
  • Excuses
    Vote B
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
he said maybe in the future and that he cares about me


Most Helpful Guy

  • i mean health and work are valid excuses but then I'd ask why was he on a dating site?

    how long were you dating?

    how soon after "being intimate" did he call it off?

    I guess I question why he was on a dating site? he in unsure about dating, didn't know how his medical issues or job would be, or just looking to hook up

    • he said he thought he could handle it but cant

    • those sound like valid reasons then. A lot of times people want something even though they may deep down not really be sure if they are able to handle it. these actions kinda stink though because they are not entirely independent actions and will have consequences on other people

    • thats exactly what I was told, "i thought I could handle it" LOL

Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Guys Said 3

  • A medical condition and a stressful job can be valid reasons to not be serious.

  • Sounds like a PLAYER

  • Been there. It came when I was 26. I nearly self-destructed. He does not need more to keep track of and feels he cannot support a relationship. He does care about you which is why he wants to steer clear until he resolves things.


What Girls Said 9

  • He doesn't want you to wake up one day and find him gone. He scared that he might hurt up in the end , but you need to tell him that you're a big girl and can take care of yourself. And you you rather live a life with someone great and that you love even if it is for a short time than live a life never find love. And about the job tell him that when 60 years old and swimming in money how happy will he be when he goes to bed alone and then wakes up alone and no one really loves him; they love his money. Then ask him if he could live himself if you let you love someone else?

  • id say half half

    some people didn't realize they are not up for relationship until they start dating again

    the guy I was seeing he told me eventually he doesn't want his emotional problems/psychological problems affect me. that's weird huh

    but for some guys, having a job at early stage and not wanting a girlfriend is quite normal I guess.

    • how old was he?

    • he is 26 and I m 20, we were in the same class

    • FYI, he said "i thought I was ready for a relationship but I m just coward on this stuff"

      he is afraid his bad behaviours/moody makes me unhappy I guess?and he will be doing his honours degree next year

  • Seems illogical.

    He's on a dating site. It can be assumed that such people are searching for a relationship. He meets you on said dating site, begins a sexual relationship with you, and THEN tells you he isn't in the position to have a girlfriend...

    Medical condition and whatever else - he knew about that from the beginning. He should have been honest about his reluctance and insecurities from the start.

    In my brutal opinion, he's been unfair to you and is leading you on.

  • It doesn't matter if he has a "valid" reason or some completely ridiculous stupid reason.

    It's sounding like either he doesn't want a girlfriend or he doesn't want you as a girlfriend.

    Being attracted to you and getting boners does not signify anything more than turning him on.

  • This doesn't really make any sense at all. I mean it would make sense if he has a medical problem and because of that he wants to focus on himself and not anyone else, or be baggage, but using that along with work..seems like an excuse. Why would he be on a dating site if he wasn't looking for someone? Did he remove his profile? I just feel like it can go either way, I wouldn't recommend to continue with him..

    • ya he removed his profile

  • Yeah , lots of people end relationships because of work.

  • he probably only wanted sex, does he have his own place already and his life together?

    • no still lives with family

    • Show All
    • yes

    • oh I see

  • i guess they are valid, but if he was looking for a girlfriend, you had sex, and now he doesn't wnat a girlfriend? sounds suspicious to me...

  • He's honest as he can be.