Do you think you have realistic expectations?

for the person you will or will not date. Compared to your own looks and qualities, do you think it's fair for you to expect the women/ men you approach to date you? Or do you aim too high? And if so, are you willing to work on yourself to get closer to their level?

And please be honest and leave your ego's aside just for this question.

For me, a similar level is when you're about as physically attractive (with little make-up) and have personalities that complement each other.

  • Aiming lower than I am
    20% (6)9% (2)15% (8)Vote
  • About the same level as them
    40% (12)26% (6)34% (18)Vote
  • Aiming too high and not willing to work on myself
    17% (5)13% (3)15% (8)Vote
  • Aiming too high and willing to work on myself
    20% (6)35% (8)26% (14)Vote
  • Dunno, you tell me
    3% (1)17% (4)10% (5)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I never had expecttations; I just met people and tried to get to know them. If they were beautiful females, maybe I tried a little harder!

    I never set any kind of 'goal' for myself in relationships; I'm sure that would be fatal to most people's chances of ever finding anyone.

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What Guys Said 13

  • I don't have "expectations". I have "If I get along with you and find you attractive, we're good." I'm not sophisticated enough to make fake lists or false judgments based on arbitrary criteria. I'm a primitive insolent "If I like you, I like you!" type of boy. I really do need higher standards.

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    • Okay, then let me rephrase it for you. Are the women you're attracted to way more attractive than you yourself are?

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    • Calm down, dude. If you can't answer, then just don't answer. But keep it civil.

    • ... It's a good thing I promised to stop getting into fights. I can't call you names and wonder what exactly is wrong with you. Q_Q

  • I don't really know, I have never really tried for a girl, and never dated. so if something comes along and I do like it and she shows me that she is actually in to me, I might take it. atm I don't really feel secure about myself and where my life is and I have no clue where I am heading, actually never had a clue about where I was going. so nobody is going to date me anyways, even if they can get to know me. I always hoped that I would get with a girl thatI worked with or had to be around a lot, but that never happens

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  • I don't think I'm very picky when it comes to a girls looks. There has to be some attraction and I like them to be healthy looking. I notice individual parts of their beauty and can be pretty attracted to someone if they simply have things like nice lips or a friendly smile. I'm not sure the level of attractiveness that would be equal to me, but I think I would date more attractive or less.

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  • Absolutely not.

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  • My expectations are what they are. I like to think I'm fairly flexible when it comes to physical appearance, but I have to be attracted. My expectations regarding personality and habits... I for have all that many expectations, but the nature of my expectations makes for limited possibilities long before the chemistry issue ever comes into play. But I can't compromise on those points.

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  • Mine are very unrealistic. Hence why I am hopelessly single.

    I refuse to date obese women in a society where 30% of people are obese. I'm probably in the bottom 20% of men, so realistically I have no chance. Especially as women tend to aim up from where they are as they are less bothered about being single for a while.

    I would be willing to try and improve myself to reach that level, but how do you improve a sh*tty jawline and a big nose when you are nowhere near being in a position to afford surgery?

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    • I went with C by the way as I feel any work I put in wouldn't raise me enough, so its not worth the effort.

    • Also even if you go beyond looks I'm pretty f***ed. My mental health is terrible. Even if I did meet a one in a million girl who liked my appearance I'd scare her off with my depression/negativity, BDD and misanthropy.

    • Curious as to why I got so many downvotes? Too depressing? Or are the fat pride crew after me again?

  • I personally think I have realistic expectations. It's the people in my everyday life that think I have unrealistic expectations.

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  • Nope, too unrealistic. Always a set up for disappointment.

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  • Probably not lol

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  • I like to think that my expectations are of girls about the same level as I am. Then again, I could just really suck at judging the "level" people are at, including myself.

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  • This is a bizarre question. Most girls don't approach. People who don't approach, or who can't handle rejection, are the only people who should be concerned about their standards.

    I don't really think about it. I've had unattractive girls reject me. I've had attractive girls say yes. And of course vice versa.

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  • Well based on my last couple girl friends I guess I aimed lower. I had all my friends asking me what I was thinking but I didn't mind.

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  • I'd rather aim high and be rejected by some by accepted by some who were higher than me.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Questions like this are always hard for me to answer, because I don't

    actually think about stuff like this. First off, I don't rate peoples looks or personalities

    and I don't rate my own looks or personality. So, I don't really have a level and

    therefore don't need to worry if someone I'd date is on the same level as me

    or not. I guess you could say, I like even playfielding. Where we just are who

    we are and see if who we are is compatible with the other and if it is, then that's

    great. And, if not then maybe you at least have a new friend.

    See, for me it's more about me following my insticts and intitution.

    Then it is, having a list and worrying if we're on the same level or not.

    I know what I want and I what don't, when I find it I'll know. Also, I won't

    be working on anything to bring me closer to ones level. However, I do

    have a lot of things I need to work on for me and me alone. I learned long age,

    that changing yourself to please others, doesn't usually please others.

    So, to sum it up. I don't really know if I have expectations or not, I kinda just

    want to let what ever will be, be. Does that makesense?

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  • People told me that I tend to aim lower. Well, people told me that I look pretty cute without any makeup on, hence why I never put a heavy makeup on, a natural lipgloss and baby powder. That's all. Achievement wise, I guess I always aim for people who stood somewhere along my lines of achievement. So... I think I always aim for people who are about the same standard as I am...

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  • I'm realistic about their looks and whatnot, but I think I am possibly unrealistic about the chemistry I expect/want.

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  • Mine are very unrealistic but I am willing work on mine.

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  • Similiar level. I must be physically attracted to him but he need not be very good looking, pleasant looking. Our personalities have to complement each other.

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  • ... I know you don't specifically say this, but it sounds like your asking this question based on the idea that everyone here is on a "low level" and aiming for people on their level, lower or much high above. What if I am on a high level and am dating someone like me? I chose "about the same level as them", but that does not mean I am settling for someone on a "low level like me because I can't get better". I disapprove settling and think that people should always work to improve themselves and try to achieve what they dream about, and not only what they "think they can get".

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    • you're *

    • Dunno where you got that idea. I never even mentioned the words "because you can't get better"

      This question is 2 weeks old by the way.

  • I think I do because I'm able to always have a relationship

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  • I went with A and yes I know it wounds kind of harsh or shallow but its the truth. People tell me I'm pretty or attractive all the time but usually nothing more than that.

    I'm not big on relationships but ill give anyone a chance. I can never get a guy around my age that I'm attracted to. It's always the guys that are how do I put it "below me" that have enough balls to approach me or take interest I me.

    And all of the guys I am attracted to that approach me are too old!

    But like I mentioned before the guys my age just aren't attracted to me, already taken, don't live anywhere near me, or too nervous to approach me.

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  • Yes I do.I don't go and hit on a guy who is more attractive than me.Unless if they approach me first then it would be different story.Still,I will probably reject him because I know I won't be comfortable around him and I will get paranoid thinking of how he will cheat on me.The guys that I usually dated in past were all about the same level as me in look wise.Physical attraction is very important.Their personality make me stay.Just being honest.Most people think I am 7 even the people here.Not to sound mean but it I will definitely expect guys who around the same scale to approach me.I have tried dated guys who below 6 just to see if they aren't going to be a jerk like the good looking one,I was wrong.They were pretty much the same.So I got back with my own standard but be more wiser in checking out their personality too.

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    • That's so interesting you would reject really good looking people. I wonder what a 7 would be to you and what a 5 would be.

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    • I never minded dating the hot ones :)

    • Yes I also not keen in the good looking ones

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