Why do many guys here said that girls have it easier especially in dating?

I have seen so many guys here complain about how girls don't do the approaching and being shallow for not dating them.As a girl I don't think we have it easier.We have our issues too and we DO get friend zoned it just we don't brag about it.

Updates:
I am not trying to offend any guys on this site.I am really curious to know what makes guys think this way.No offence intended,thanks for the answers!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because girls don't have to do much, or anything at all, to get a date. Guys are noticing that a lot of girls can get dates by simply walking down a hallway and letting a guy do all the work. The only "issues" I see girls having are from picking the wrong guys to go on dates with, then blowing it outta proportion. But honestly, these girls are attracted to those types of guys to begin with and getting off to the drama that follows.

    The trouble is that we have too many girls not taking initiative and while it's easy to say "put more effort" in guys can see way ahead of time that if a girl is not putting effort in now to show mutual interest, she won't in a relationship either. Guys are looking for better quality women now who can prove that they are indeed women who can make their man feel appreciated like their man will do for them. I can make a girl feel hella appreciated. But why would I want to if she can't do the same for me?

    Outside of dealing with perverts I really can't say I have met any girls who have dating problems that weren't already in a serious relationship sort of things where things got real personal. Girls main issues are primarily within their insecurities. The closest I have really seen is a girl who had some guy spamming her phone with angry texts. Easy solution is to block. I think girls make their own troubles look worse than they are.

    As for friend zoning. Those are almost always based on physical attraction or something the girl has done to indicate a lack of faithfulness. Such things include having too many guy friends, not rejecting male advances, and so on. The thing is the girls will go back and blame it on the guy saying he has personal issues for her having guy friends when the guy mainly has a problem with the guy friends groping her and such.

    Look at any guy who has complained about not getting a date, he's todl to "work on himself" and "Better himself" and so on. But if a girl makes the same question the people will tell her "Wait for the right one." They barely ever tell her to better herself. We assume she's perfect right from the start.

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    • Yes indeed...I also outlined this in my point. They get told to "man up" and "work on himself" but notice how they aren't so steadfast to offer their "knowledge" of doing so. IT's like saying to a homeless disabled veteran...get a job. Anyway, yes I also agree that they will tell her wait for the right one or his loss...

    • About your last paragraph,I can see the double standard there but I have also seen few girls who get friend zoned and being told them same thing due to her unattractiveness.In my experience girls do have it a little bit easier but when quantity is more the quality will be less.If you get what I mean.

    • I like what you wrote at least you justified your explanation instead of whining. But then there are mean guys who told girls they are not attractive or slim enough so the girl have to go on diet plan etc.

What Guys Said 24

  • Simple answer to your question.

    1. Create an online dating account (i.e. POF). Attach a semi-attractive female photo and a nearly empty profile description.

    2. Now create a second account as a man. Attach a semi-attractive male photo and a nearly empty profile description.

    Now wait a few days and check the email box. Girls don't have to do squat to get men. Guys do all the chasing, and more often than not, they are ignored or not responded to.

    Men find it hard to find women because their chances are low. So they ask a lot, and get rejected a lot.

    Girls find it hard to find men because they do not chase. When a guy expresses interest, the girl does absolutely nothing, thinking it's the guy's job to initiate everything. When women see a guy they like and their eyes meet, the girl will tend to turn their eyes away. To men, this means "go away". To a woman, this means "I'm shy". What ends up happening is...nothing. The guy will not pursue unless the girl gives some signals or hints that she's interested. However, the signal the girl gives off is exactly the opposite of what she wants to portray. It's all about perspective.

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  • Generally, especially in the US where most people on the site live, girls never (or rarely) do any approaching, and they are interested mainly in whoever will spend the most money on them, so they push most guys away who approach them. That way, they're available if they can get a wealthy guy's attention.

    In the meantime, they keep most other guys at arm's length..I think that's what the US guys mean by being 'freind-zoned.'

    Guys aren't so venal, and don't put girls into categories based on how much money they have, so you don't hear many females complaining about being 'friend' zoned.

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  • Where to begin...

    Hmm you get inot most clubs for free or reduced price that are heavily populated by males hence sausage fest...

    Men do the approaching, compete against a lot of others...women sit back passively and get to judge.

    When a man flakes or is not available for whatever reason, I am sure women have at least 5 who will certainly replace him that day or the next.

    Men HAVE to be ones of character have a life be social, while women can be depressed and still have someone "rescue" her

    Women get wayyyyyy more messages in online dating than men and also women don't have to message first because the male approaching mechanic takes to the online.

    Men have to pay for the first date if there is any money involved otherwise women will see him as cheap and wrongfully reflect that experience on future dates or around other men.

    If a man has other women involved it is because he earned their attention and approched them unlike the woman who has the other ones she isn't seeing waiting for a response.

    Men usually have to make the plans on what where and when the date is going to be.

    women HATE being asked, "what do you wanna do?"

    Men have to lead and always advance the interaction, again women sit back and judge and decide if they want a second or third.

    Men DO NOT "brag" about being friend zoned by women.

    Women can send out subtle signals that are as noticble as seeing a star during the daytime and if a man that is unattractive acts on it, she can say he misinterpreted or his imagination got the better of him.

    A man that has no girl firend or no experience is seen as a loser and is not desireable or seen as someone of value...where as a woman in that situation is seen as independent or is just simply being careful.

    Men have to deal with more rejection, more often than women will ever have to.

    Women frequently "test" men hence the popular term "sh*t tests"

    Men don't call women, "creepy" or "weird" when approaches if they even make any fail, and are way more lenient in opening up and advancing interactions where women will just give a friendly good bye, say she has a boyfriend or take his number with no intention of ever calling.

    I have never heard or seen a woman "protecting" a man in a bar or area like a club when they are on a date and things go awry, if anything I have seen women abandon or walk out on their men.

    We pretty much have to ask permission at each milestone to advance into a relationship or to be dating exclusively... For example if we want to get into a relation after x amount of a few dates we can be seen easily labeled,"clingy","pushy","needy" where as if we don't time it right or don't push ahead, they will lose interested or that which they refer to as "chemistry" or "spark" and seek it eslewhere.

    We get suckered into believing womanism's like if you can make me laugh you can make me do anything or if you can seduce my mind you can have my body when coincidently it's the Channing Tatum's Brad Pitt's and George clooneys that make it.

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  • Because it's true, guys do have it harder.

    Are you expected to approach? Pay for meals? Make the plans? Pull out chairs? Make more money? Propose & buy rings initially? Work hard for sex? Be the strong one all the time? Initiate conversations(texting first etc.) Put out more effort to make your partner happy than they'll probably return?

    Girls wouldn't be able to handle a guys role. Girls basically look pretty and men will flock, girls are the "hunted" men are the "hunters" except in this role women aren't prey, they get to chose which guys they want. If you were to walk a mile in a guys shoes and rarely ever have strangers positively comment on your appearance, deal with women who are always trying to make you do the chasing rather than meet you half way and put out 0 effort you'd realize why we say that.

    You not thinking it's harder clearly shows how much you over look all the things guys have to do to keep their girls happy, it's ungrateful women such as yourself which is what guys hate.

    And girls don't get truly friendzoned. A girls version of the friendzone is a fuckbuddy. Wanting more with a guy who doesn't feel the same way about you but will still sleep with you, at least you get something.

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  • Because girls have it much easier in dating.

    Women are considered valuable and attractive just by existing. A man has to offer something.

    Its the same in virtually all mammals. The males compete to get as many partners as they can, the females compete to get the highest quality partner they can, they will always have an offer from somewhere though.

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  • Women all know how sh*tty other women can be to each other and how so many "other" women manipulate and abuse people.

    Then all of a sudden that knowledge goes out the window when "they" talk about dating men, as if the character of all those sh*tty relationally aggressive women suddenly improves, cause you know.. magic.

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  • Because those are the guys that came to the internet for dating advice. All they're liable to do is bitch and moan on the internet.

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    • You know what the funny/ironic thing is... women do get this kind of scruity when they in fact do come here like men do for "advice." which in turn makes it seem like men don't do their part.

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    • I am not forcing anything, I throw out my points and you VOLUNTARILY choose to reply with insults and immediate disregard for anything that opposes your beliefs.

    • It's also pretty cowardly to block someone and then insult them some more so they can't even reply. Really you are dispalying some qualities there. You turn a debate into a an insult slinging argument.

  • well women can feel insecure, lonely, desperate about being single and some guy will rescue you but never the other way around, it's like us guys are supposed to make other things in our life a bigger priority

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  • women def have it harder for a few reasons:

    one, guys are much more about looks than women are, so a girl has to live her life being judged by her cover a lot more than most guys do.

    two, girls are generally expected to be more passive and wait for a guy to show he likes her. f*** all this new age gender neutralization bullsh*t. girls are always going to be more sensitive about showing their feelings to a guy, and they have to just HOPE that he will go for them. Think about how much that must suck.

    three, almost any guy who has a good personality and confidence can get plenty of women.. unfortunately that is not true for women since men are so much more visual. a girl is a lot more restricted by her genetics.

    so if anything, stop being such whiny babbies and expecting anyone to feel sorry for you. a MAN doesn't bitch about the cards he's dealt.

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    • and of course before someone says I'm contradicting myself, I'm only putting this here as a balance to all the babbies whining

    • the simple answer to your question is: the guys on this site are mostly wimps who whine and complain. they aren't men, which is why they want to come up with hundreds of reasons that they have it "so hard" etc etc. How pathetic

  • I for one am not offended...I am just answering the question. My points I made a little while ago are just some of the reason why men say that women have it EASIER. I acknowledge that women have their "issues" as you stated, but when compared this is why men point them out.

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  • because they are frustrated with their own dating

    i think it depends on who you are really. can't judge and generalize an entire sex as having it either easier or harder. I think saying either or is just immature and stupid

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  • a guy goes on more dates when he becomes what women want.

    a woman goes on more dates by saying 'yes' one more time than she says 'no'.

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  • Because guys are jealous of girls.

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  • Well when it comes to finding a date girls do indeed have it easier but that is how our society is programmed to where men are supposed to make the first move perhaps girls could make conversation with a guy that they are interested an then if he is attracted to her then they could go out but remember when a guy approaches a girl he is putting his pride on the line if the girl rejects him then it could affect his ego and if it keeps happening then he will begin to question himself an start to feel insecure therefore lacking confidence which is apparently attracts girls but if he doesn't have anything to back this confidence i.e, looks, success, money and a good social network then it is going to be a lot harder to get his foot in the door with girls it's more about not only picking the guy but picking the guy that will be compatible with her and he builts up her trust wins her over breaks he heart then she feels insecure if it keeps happening then she starts to reject every guy do to hear heart repeatedly being broken and you see this complicated cycle men and women go through.

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  • We have different battles

    Guys have it harder getting into relationships

    Girls have it harder maintaining relationships

    The biggest problem on both sides is communication and being unrealistic. I've never complained about women not approaching or being shallow for not dating me.You win some and you lose some. If I'm getting shot down more times than I would like I find it similar to girls who get into the wrong relationships most the time. Who is the common denominator there? We need to go back to the standards and communication drawing board.

    I understand the guys frustration though. So many guys are inexperienced and it is not from a lack of trying. Girls are more likely to have relationships than guys and have that actual in-relationship experience that many guys don't get.Guys have a tough job getting in and that also means that they will have added problem of in-relationship experience ( which is a lot tougher).

    Girls generally having higher standards for guys isn't helping them either. Girls are more likely to complain about getting the "right guy" as opposed to getting a guy

    So it is not that girls don't have it hard, it is just that they have less hurdles

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  • because this is what we guys have to do in order to get a girlfriend:

    "Women don't want to date men who aren't happy with their life, period. They're naturally attracted to men who have their own identity & look like born leaders. Just go do what you love to do & enjoy life while you still have it"

    One guy said this to me: "“If you are really looking for a relationship, you have to have balance. Women don't just want confidence, they want vulnerability as well. You can't be the king of the world all the time, they have to feel like they can be there for you and that you need SOME support.

    As for jumping in a relationship, try to get to the point where you don't validate yourself through a girlfriend, they kick ass, but you have all you need to be happy in yourself man.

    “When you are happy and content with what and who you are, the women will come."

    none of that applies to women, they can be insecure, feel lonely and frustrated about being single, make getting a relationship their number one priority and they can get one, but us guys are not allowed to be desperate for one, pisses me off, us humans are a pair bonding species, we're meant to be with each other

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    • NOT true, have you any idea how much women are scolded and called ''needy'' if we do x, why or z? We are told not to call a guy, not to sleep with him even when we are in love with him, not to do this, not to do that. It makes no sense and lately, I disregard ALL of that garbage because it is like being in prison. Ignore that stuff you read online.

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    • yeah but still, men are expected to have a life but women are not

    • Yeah they throw out the whole"how can anyone love you if you don't love yourself", but for them it's just be yourself and be patient Mr. Right will come along, or say things like they don't know what they are missing out on. It's pretty foolish in their eyes for us to adopt notions 2 and 3. I know for a fact I will NEVER be approached so I have to go and help me help myself.

  • ?

    guys go without a relationship, sex or even a date for years at a time. we have to slave away to get anything. I've been with over a dozen girls and I've put in countless hours and dozens of approaches to get those results...

    currently it's been 3 months since I last had sex

    for a girl, all you do is ... show up. That's it.

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  • when it comes to meeting a guy, girls have it way easier than girls. It isn't even close because most guys will approach girls and try to start up a conversation. If a girl is not interested she will reject the guy. If a girl goes up to a guy and starts talking he will most likely be polite compared to girls who brush guys in a rude or just mean way.

    also keep in mind that when a guy asks a girl to go out he is expected to pay for her meal most often than not.

    but when it comes to being in a relationship both sides have it rough since there are bitter, insecure, a-holes, etc... on both ends

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  • No one is denying that girls have issues too. But girls still have it easier. How can anyone deny this? Girls generally get approached. Guys generally don't.

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  • Because when a guy is socially awkward, his dating chances are next to none but if a woman is that way, it doesn't effect her because she's the one that gets approached . Thart's why I could never understand how people think that men are more antisocial than women when we are the ones who have to start conversations all the time. Even with women that I wasn't trying to date I had to still start the conversation with.

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    • That's not always true though most of the time those guys have higher standards then what is available to them wich is why they can't get a girlfreiend and also If a girl likes you and I don't know if this is me she will always retro start a conversation with you

  • Some people are weaker and some are not. I enjoy the chase and enjoy being a man.

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    • These kids are such babies

    • LOL! This answer tickles me.

      It's just such an unintelligent, self-absorbed, mainly self-surveilled argument. Like some of these guys are so overly obsessed with their own struggles that they try to apply their personal obstacles with dating to mass amounts of men. Then either blame or lash out at women in the process like it's our fault they've had troubles.

  • Because a shy quiet socially awkward girl has a much better chance of getting a boyfriend than the other way around

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  • Because it's only partly a real issue that some guys blow up into a bigger problem in order to blame something. It's true that girls are a bit more passive when it comes to making moves on people or the whole "getting to know you" process, but this shouldn't be used as a crutch for guys either. But I agree with you that it's silly to think that guys are oh so disadvantaged lol

    But if I saw a lady such as yourself in public, it would be my problem trying to figure out just what to say to make you notice me :D

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    • I am very easy going girl.I will respond to the guys I am interested in.Sometimes I will try to make him notice me by talking loudly or dropping something like my wallet lol.I can say I do the approaching but maybe its too 'indirect'

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    • Holy sh*t, this comment section blew up and I'm not entirely sure why

    • Lolllllllll

  • Its easier to blame other people when you aren't doing anything to help yourself.

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What Girls Said 8

  • They get so consumed in their own frustrations and struggled with dating that they delude themselves to beleive females MUST have it easier than them. It's actually pretty self-absorbed when you really think about it.

    The way I view approaching someone you want to date: If you don't have the confidence and courage to go appraoch a female, then don't complain about it later on. Don't try and make it seem like it's the girl's fault for not coming up to you because you are too timid and self-concious to make something happen. There are females out there who will approach first, just because someone hasn't experienced it doesn't mean it's not possible.

    My thoughts on "friend zoning"

    Friend zoning tends to be people not wanting to humbly accept that someone is not interested in them romantically and feels no sexual or romantic chemistry with them. Instead of accepting that, they'd rather preach about the theory of "friend zoning". If someone's not into you, it's because they don't feel a certain level of ROMANTIC connection or chemistry. Humbly accept it and move on with your life, instead of forever labeling the situation as "friend zoning".

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    • *struggles not "struggled" lol

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    • I even said just a little while ago, I can lead to water but I can't make you drink. That means I am actually NOT FORCING you to accept anything let alone reply. But again your selective reading and dismissive attitudes causes duplicative efforts to be made in understanding that.

    • Yeah, I have a dismissive attitude because your approach is awful. Take accountability for that and maybe you'll avoid someone being highly disinterested in your views in the future.

  • When you talk about getting dates, yes, girls have it easier.

    But in terms of getting the one you want, guys have it much easier. One crucial difference is - a girl will fall for a guy if he stays around longer enough and be good to her. This almost never happens the other way around. If a guy likes you, he would ask you out when first met, if he doesn't, nothing would change that.

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  • It's most definitely significantly easier for girls to date than guys. But, it's not as easy as half of these pathetic, whiny ass guys think it is.

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    • It's not the first thing I assume. I can't speak for anyone else. It's totally OK to feel bad that you're single and can't find a girl. Nothing wrong with that. But when you get upset with women and project the blame on them, and victimize yourself, that is when it turns into a big pathetic pity party. In my opinion, anyway. And not every guy does that and I acknowledge that and can see the difference.. but a LOT of guys do.

    • I like it over here lol you are very understanding and takes things in good stride haha. Well, I can honestly say that if more women could adopt your thinking and understanding we wouldn't have as much alienation between the sexes as demonstrated elsewhere.

  • I don't know why some guys made it sound as though by sitting at a corner we would get approached or dates. No it isn't as easy as abc.

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    • At least I know I didn't have it easy

    • As a matter of fact yes yes that is the case. A guy is thinking about all these things. They even take time out of their day or during their to approach someone who they find interesting or attractive and strike up conversation, while trying to gain approval and ALL the woman has to do is say yes or no. If she says yes...well then great your first date is going to be compliments of the man, if you say no you simply go on to what you were doing and now the guy has to find another and whatnot.

    • And girls are allowed to seek approval and validation from guys but not the other way around

  • Guys only think of dating from a male perspective, they think because girls can achieve a physical relationship with relatively little effort, we therefore have it easier...they don't factor in that women might place less importance on the physical, or that it's a lot more complicated and stigmatized socially for women than it is for men

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  • Because they genuinely believe women just simply rise out of bed, leave the house, and hundreds of men come flocking to us. They only believe this because they (average looking guys) compare their experience with dating to really attractive women, because those are the women they lust after. Well of course they get tons of guys approaching them, they look like a super model for christ sake. If they instead compared their experiences with other average/less than average looking women, they would realize they aren't the only ones with problems in the dating world.

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    • It's really weird and pushy to be honest like he has a smalld***and he needs some self-validation that he's right/good at something *point in case: arguing/badgering*

    • See here we go with the insults... this is about as mature as you can get, it's pitiful.

  • Because they fail at getting a girlfriend so they go on the Internet to whine about how shallow women are.

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  • Because they couldn't get a girlfriend and lack of social skill so they blame the girls.

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    • Why would they blame girls because they couldn't get a lack of social skills?

    • I have to disagree...being the ones who approach certainly implements being well social...so what say you to the many women who call shy, and say it's the man's job, and I don't want to make the first move? Surely you would hold them accountable for alienation between the sexes too.

    • There's definitely some truth to this. +1

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