How would you feel if you found out the person you're dating is only really dating you to get out of the house?

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For example, I normally don't get out much, and I'm fine with that.. I'm not a party animal and such... However, sometimes I do want to go out and most of the people I know have someone to be with already, and I'm not particularly searching for a relationship with anybody, especially because the people interested in me are not much of my interest...

So my question is, would it be a horrible thing to start using someone just to get out? I've never done that before.. & I'm not interested in him as a boyfriend at all, but I'm pretty sure if I say that, he'll just disappear like all the other people...

  • It's okay to do that.
    8% (1)29% (2)15% (3)Vote
  • It's not okay.
    92% (12)71% (5)85% (17)Vote
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Updates:
Well okay, the only reason I used the term "use" was because that's what most view it as...


If I say I just want to hang out with him as friends, most likely he won't be interested in being friends.. And I don't precisely "need" a man to go out. I pretty much do everything on my own.. which is why I feel like going out sometimes with someone... and much rather it be a guy than a girl. I'd enjoy my time better, I spend most of my time around girls.. so yeah...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends on the person. It wouldn't bother me as long I'm not being lied to. I wouldn't mind hanging out just as friends, and I've found a lot of times stuff happens in this situation if you know what I mean. I wouldn't take a casual date very serious though.

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    • What stuff? I'm not like that.. if you're referring to sex.

    • In the past, it seems like many girls were interested in making out or sometimes more. They may not be looking for a relationship either.

What Guys Said 4

  • So basically you let this guy believe that you like him just so you have a reason to go somewhere? If I found that out I would never speak to her again.

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  • don't let the guy find out and pick up your half of the bill. don't lead him on and I think it is fine

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  • Well it depends, is this someone you've known for a while that's had an interest in you? Or someone you just met who wants to get to know as something more than friends?

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    • just someone who started talking to me because he was interested... and has asked me out repeatedly but I always make excuses... I was just thinking that maybe it could be fun, but I'm not interested in him like that.

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    • He likes you in a non-sexual way how? As in he wants to be just friends? Or he doesn't just want to sleep with you he wants a relationship?

    • Well, I don't know. I mean... he doesn't seem perverted.. and I'm not slutty in real life... So I don't see how he could be interested in me for sex only. Which is what I think you concluded from pics I posted. Gah! anyway! I think most people here got the impression I was purposely trying to use someone just to play with their feelings.. It's not what I meant and I shouldn't have used the term "use".

  • I mean if I got a little something something out of it I wouldn't mind

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    • no something something.

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    • Then be straight forward and stop playing games

    • What games? I'm simply asking if it's okay to go out places with someone who is apparently interested in you, even though the feelings are not mutual! I didn't mean to use the word "use", but that's how most would take it as. and If I am forward about it, he'd probably not be interested in taking me out as a friend... do you get it?

What Girls Said 9

  • "Would it be a horrible thing to start using someone just to get out?" It's a horrible thing to use someone for any reason. Why do you need a man in order to go out? Be independent, do your own thing. It's wrong to string people along.

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    • Well the only reason I used the term "use" was because that's what most view it as... and If I say I just want to hang out with him as friends, most likely he won't be interested in being friends.. And I don't precisely "need" a man to go out. I pretty much do everything on my own.. which is why I feel like going out sometimes with someone... and much rather it be a guy than a girl. I enjoy my time better.

    • Just ask to hang out. You don't have to lead the guy on. If he wants to be more than friends then politely say you aren't interested in him that way. Using him will inly hurt him more than telling him the truth from the beginning.

  • I personally don't think its right to lead someone on for any reason. I think you should try your best to get out on your own and meet people while you're out. That way you have a better chance at meeting people with similar interests as you and you aren't leading them to believe you want more, or anything different, than you honestly do.

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  • I mean, you don't want to mislead anyone, the person will be heartbroken and nine times out of ten, that action will come back on you in the future.

    I would suggest telling him that you are not looking for a relationship. Just state that you are currently focused on casual dating. You're right, a lot of guys dodge (some do) when they are interested in you, and you only view them as a friend. So that's what I suggest, and that way you won't be using him to get out of the house.

    Good luck.

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  • I don't think it's nice to lead someone on, who is thinking it might lead to a relationship when all you want is a friend. The best relationships are built on honesty be it friendship or more than that. Better you find someone who will be willing to be just friends :)

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  • Um,just tell him the truth. if he can't handle it,then so be it.

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  • It is horrible to use anyone for anything.

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  • I would think that is a horrible thing to do.

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  • That's not okay. Be honest and clear about what you want. If he's not interested in hanging out as friends, you have to respect that. If he's fine with it, cool. Just don't intentionally lead someone on. It's a cruel thing to do.

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  • Why do you have to be dating him to get out of the house? Can't you just ask to hang out with him as friends.

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    • Hmm... no.

      The majority of guys who try to be my friend, are usually interested in something else.. and once they find out I'm not interested they bail.

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