Don't know why I always feel this way?

I am going to start off by saying that I have gone a few dates, I also go to social events. The thing is I still am socially awkward even though I do social things and date. Yet I tend to be more of a loner, because I am afraid to get hurt (via being left, cheated on) which are all forms of rejection. Every girl I have dated I have always had this feeling where I start think, there is always something about me that they don't like and they want to leave me. So I am dating this amazing girl that I really like and I really really do like her and getting some real feelings for her (I really love being around her I can't describe it. I would give this girl the shirt off my back and the shoes off my feet). Now that she knows I am not a very good dancer and sort of a loner (she knew about the loner part, and the fact is I never had a girlfriend and still a virgin for a while now). Yet she is still with me, even after that I am getting this feeling maybe she is not going to want to be with me (because I am too boring or whatever). We have very similar personalities, but different likes and so on (which I don't mind) she tends like clubbin and partying at the sametime seems to be real down to earth and knows when to turn those things off. Where I am more of a homebody and will have fun or try to have fun when needed (but for some reason that loner mentality creeps in). Because I just feel like people will always criticize me due to me dancing stiff since I can't dance to certain music (soca music and certain dancehall and I am Jamaican). So I tend to be real stiff and unsure of what to do, because I can't seem to catch the rhythm on those faster songs and I just look awkward. When it comes to whining I am alright, but still kind of umm need work. I will sometimes come off as prudish even though I dance to reggae and all that (I don't club, kind of waiting to have sex, but for the first time I am willing to throw that sex before marriage out the window with this girl). We are both different religions (I know the bible talks about unequally yolked). I just don't know how to shake this feeling like I am unlovable by any girl I date, and will eventually get cheated on and continually get left (which each times seems to feel worse). It is like I would never find the one that will just hold on and stick it out till really "death do us part."


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you are going to be OK. This girl obviously likes you. Don't convince her that she doesn't. You will get better at dancing, I promise. You can still stick to your morals of waiting till marriage if you want, but you don't have to. Even if it doesn't work out, the church is a great place to find nice girls willing and wanting to wait. But just because you haven't found the right girl yet doesn't mean at all that you're unlovable. That's just not true at all. You seem like a very sweet guy. And if honey boo boo's mom can find a boyfriend, I'm sure you can find someone too:)

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What Girls Said 1

  • Heyyy. Don't ever think.that you are unloveable. Because you are. Why don't you start small by doing something adventurous not too crazy, with just her. Whatever it is that you think is adventurous. Now are you dating her, or just friends? You can try by opening up a little to her and telling her how you feel. But I'm not sure if its serious or not between you two.

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    • Dating. It is not too serious, but yeah we have gone out a few times.

What Guys Said 1

  • Bro, you always ask questions about this, I kinda see a trend between your age 25-29, anonymous and these lack of confidence questions.

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    • A couple of them not all of them.

    • I haven't been on here long enough to see a trend. Maybe he feels like he has some positive feedback here. Who knows. :-/ he obv lacks confidence. In search of the holy grail of life.

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