Girls please answer: I'm 38 she's 18....

I have coached my friend for 2 years who now works for me as a coach. We get on well and it's not uncommon for her to tell me about her sex life or that of her friends - kind of with flirty overtones. I'm not sure if she is telling me this as a way of initiating intimacy or merely as conversation. Let's face it, we're never going to have a relationship but I would love to sleep with her. I'm a little hesitant to take my flirting with her further considering (a) her age, and (b) the dynamics of our relationship.

So, should I put it out to her that I'm interested? Advice from women would be well appreciated.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't be surprised if she is impressed with your degree of sophistication, which she finds lacking with people of her age group (including herself). But that only means she has a desire to learn and seek continous improvements, which is a positive trait.

    That being said, when it comes to "Does that desire to learn includes learning about what it is like having sex, or getting into an intimate relationship with someone significantly older than you ?", it is a lot more complicated. Even if she is honest and says that what she is after (with you), and you are being honest about why you find her attractive (innocence, smooth skins, bright, ...etc.), I would consider other factors, such as the consequences of such a relationship on both parties.

    If you two meet at a bar, and find each other attractive, and both know what both want is a one night stand, or some casual sex, then it would be like a business transaction, "I get what I want from you, and you get what you want from me"; it is none of anyone's business (not even the police's), except yours', literally.

    Given your work circumstances, that's not the case. There is a chance that she gets emotionally involved and hurt when things go "sour". Not only does that affect your working relationship, you will leave behind some permanent scars.

    If you want to have sex with young girls, and you 'must' do it, it is far better to pay for it, and do it with "professionals" who "know what they are doing", and upon completion of the transaction, leaves no scars or trauma.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Hell no you should not put that out. There is too big of a difference and I am afraid that she would end up regretting this fling especially since you are just interested in sex. She is too young for you as well as too impressionable. At the age of 18 I was big on having fun but not with someone that could be my dad. It's just wrong.

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  • That could be the biggest mistake of your life. DOONT DO IT! Do her in your head if you must, but do not act on it in real life. Think with the head that is above your shoulders.

    She is only 18. That means she was 16 when you started coaching her. Does it matter to you if anyone were to find out. It would make you look highly sketchy at best. What if she gets super attached to you and falls in love? What if she gets pregnant?

    It sounds like the girl already has self esteem issues. She may be an adult but you are probably much wiser than her and have more life experiences, therefore you know better. That is grimy as hell. If you had a daughter her age how would you feel about a 38 year old guy hooking up with her?

    I'm not saying that the age alone makes it wrong, but it's circumstances. I would probably date an older guy myself, but it would be totally inappropriate if it was a man who knew me as a child and was "friends" with me. If you met her at a club or soemthing that's different in my opinion. And when you say she's your "friend", are you friends with her family as well or do you have an independent friendship with her? How did you become friends if you don't mind me asking. That is kind of odd if a 36 year old man would even make friends with a then 16 yo girl.

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  • Yeah, sounds like you were just waiting for her to hit 18. Men like you disgusts me. Why can't you go after women your own age...or will you forever be chasing 18 year olds?

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What Guys Said 3

  • Do you realize that's someone's daughter? If you had an 18 year old daughter, would you want some 38 year old guy preying on her?

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    • Umm... she is an adult and it's not uncommon for the girl in question to enjoy random partners. Plus, I too have parents, making me someone's son.

    • Obviously she has low self esteem having sex with guys, trying to get guys to like her. You're taking advantage of her if you know this and have sex with her, and empower her weakness. You know its wrong, or else you wouldn't be asking the question.

  • You could be her daddy, remember that always, never forget it .

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  • You are a predator! She may be legal, but just. You sound like you knew her when she was 16 and were waiting for her to turn 18. If I were you, I would just move on. Having sex with her would destroy your relationship and perhaps your reputation. Not to mention, if she works for you, she could sue you for sexual harassment.

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