Finding myself new to dating again?

So I've recently came out of a serious relationship. Feeling pretty good so I'm looking to jump back into the dating pool. My only question is should I be actively searching or be passive about it? I also feel that being in the military will complicate things.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would say to just chill out, be social, and see what happens. Looking for it will not get you what you want or what you need. I have been there and done that. My dads best advice was the minute you are not looking for it, it will happen.

    So if you are not looking to get serious, then just relax about it and go have fun! if serious is what you want, there are plenty of girls that "love" a man in uniform and would love to be with you regardless. Of course you don't want a woman to love you for your fatigues. But just don't "try" to make it happen. It will happen.

    You are a good looking guy, so no worries there. :)

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    • Thanks for the advice, I'm not sure what your doing at your age but god damn its working haha.

What Girls Said 9

  • If it were me, I would be passive about it. I would really take the time to think about what I want to invest more of my time in to and what is more important for my life right now. There's obviously that saying that you only seem to find people when you're not looking. Try focusing on other things in your life like the military, and if something happens, then it happens. Sometimes it's nice to be single. You don't have to worry about anyone else and you have more time to yourself. Take a little break. You just came out of something serious, so it might be nice to think more about yourself now. That's just my opinion.

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  • that depends on how much you care. Do you need to be with someone RIGHT NOW? or are you taking relationships as they come and go?

    You'll be more likely to enter into a relationship if you are active. You can still find yourself in a relationship being passive, but chances are it won't happen as quickly.

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  • If you're lucky enough to find someone whom you have a magnetic connection with: DO NOT BE PASSIVE. If you want to be successful, you don't have time to be passive. Another word for passive is to be inactive so passive behavior seldom gets you where you want to be. So don't you ever be passive if you are lucky enough to stumble upon a magnetic, intense connection and/or instant attraction. I am a firm believer that these days, treasure comes in the form of human beings: someone who is so exquisite, polished, rare, and immeasurable in value and being passive will keep them you moving in the opposite direciton of them. I had to get that out!

    As a young adult with two parents who were in the military who also dated a guy in the army: if you two are a fit for each other, nothing will stand in the way, not even the military. Don't worry! : )

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  • Just have fun! :D

    Not every date is meant to shift into something long term or serious. In fact, I think a few futureless, short term dating is healthy! It builds confidence, dating skills, you learn more about the opposite sex, and it really solidifies what you do and don't find mentally attractive. Practice is what gives you confidence and knowledge. So yeah, just approach it with a fun, light hearted attitude. I don't know about you, but actively searching has NEVER worked for me. I've always found guys to date when I was just living my life, going on about my business, with not a care in the world. Searching can become frustrating because if you don't find what you want, then you may get discouraged. I think it may be better for you to just live your life, have fun, and when you stumble upon a girl you're attracted to or have good chemistry with, then be confident and start dating her. Good luck!

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  • How long have you been single for? Do not jump in so soon. Do some introspection, and then try to answer your own question about being active or passive about it. Just take things very slow and date multiple women to weed out the...well bad ones. Just take your time. Enjoy yourself with or without a lady friend. Good luck :)

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  • Hmmm...there is too much info you left out to get a helpful answer. How recent? How long was the relationship? Why did it end? Have you taken enough time to heal? Did you learn anything from it about yourself? What would you do differently?

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    • I'd say roughly two weeks ago, It lasted 6 months. I'd say the distance is what killed it. But things ended well I wasn't phased by it. The lesson I learned however is to not always paint the bigger picture and try taking things at face value.

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    • Ill tell you something a wise man told me when I was younger. "Take out time at least a year to examine yourself. Think about what kind of person you are and what qualities you have. Think about ways to improve who you are and work toward who you want to be. When you do that a successful relationship will come your way and you will be better prepared." Following his advice was the best thing I could have done. I make way less mistakes and I am confident in my ability to choose a proper mate.

    • Well...I am young, I mean we did move pretty fast in our relationship due to the stressful environment we were in together. I really did want to stick it out but she choose to cut the ties. To be honest, In the military saying good bye is something you get use to unfortunately. I hate to come off as harsh but why should I feel bad about something I had no control over? I figure best thing is to move onto the next best thing ya know?

  • i say go for it have fun but if you meet someone and you start getting feelings for them tell them about you being in the millitary so that way when you do have to leave it won't just get the person by surprise , and the person will have to see if it is going to go somewhere or not let them know what you are looking for :)

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  • no hurt in trying..

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  • Do not try to meet people online.. Catfish city.. Unless your a catfish yourself? Lol, then I just wasted my time -_-*

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What Guys Said 0

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