What the hell does he want?!

Okay here goes!

I'm 27 he's 25.

I came back from Europe and he wanted to meet me (met via Tinder - dating app.). I told him I wanted something casual he agreed the same - though he also said that it wouldn't be the worst thing if something develeped between us...

We met and were immediately intimate after 1.5month of talking online and revealing things about ourselves. He stayed at my place and cuddled me all night. Drove me to work next day, reached out for my hand and held it the whole drive. Texted me an hour later saying 'miss me yet?'. I actually did miss him which is crazy, but I didn't trust the process as it felt too fast.

He was keen to meet up again so saw him two days later. He stayed over again and we had a great time. Then I just felt too overwhelmed with his intensity and told him can we pull it back a bit - be friends, keep getting to know each other and see how we feel then? He was p*ssed and ignored me or was rude by text for days. He said 'I can't help it I wear my heart on my sleeve'. he basically punished me and was a total c*nt for a bit for 'getting rid of him like he was a peice of sh*t'. Which I didn't feel was the case, I just felt it was too fast.

Finally I said hey come on, that's enough punishment. He said he had other priorities now, that he didn't have time for a girl and didn't need one. I said 'don't you miss the s*x? I do. And he was like 'of course!'. So he said well maybe we could be 'friends with benefits' and I said sure! So we resumed. Of course he was a bit more guarded and not as cuddley and sweet etc.

Then after a few weeks of doing this, dates, hang-outs, s*x, comedy, at dinner he referred to me as his girlfriend. I was confused. Later that night I asked what we are and what are we doing. He was like 'im not ready for a relationship...'. I was like okay...well what are we doing? And he said we are seeing each other exclusively, that he's not seeing anyone else and doesn't want to. I basically felt manipulated - he acted so cold when I asked to be friends weeks ago, now I was asking what we are and he was being defensive and angry. We argued and he left. He tried to cuddle me as he was leaving but I was so moody I told him not to touch me. He then texted me saying 'I do wish the best for you, take care xo'. And I basically told him to f#ck off.

Next day I found his charger and told him. I also sent a message saying no hard feelings, I clearly can't do casual anymore, take care. He called me straight away and was like 'but I like you, I like hanging out with you, you're like my best friend but female and hot. We haev great s*x great fun and enjoy each others company so why not?'. I can see his point, but also it makes me feel like he's waiting for something better to come along? Or , is he just guarded?

I don't know. Should I just f*ck him off or enjoy the moment?


0|0
4|2

Most Helpful Guy

  • You both sound bipolar. For future reference, if you feel that things are going too fast, then say "you want to slow things down", not that "you want to be friends." Any time that a woman utters the f word, she will always piss the male off and push him away—every time. I'll grant you that he behaved more capricious than you, but both of you had major mood swings and neither one of you seem to really know what you want or where you want this thing to go. If you're satisfied with having great sex with him then why do you care if he's just being guarded or waiting for something better to come along? And you do realize that you've already went down this road before, right?

    0|0
    0|1

What Guys Said 1

  • TBH He sounds crazy. Should just leave that drama, you wanted something casual and fun, it's clearly trouble so go find a new guy.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • If he wants to carry on the sex but not the relationships but that is not what you think that you are looking for then don't fall for being trapped into something you don't want because you don't want to hurt him. I think your feeling that things were happening to fast was right on and that you should always trust you instincts, especially when they are telling you there is something not right about a person. However I think that you both need to work on your communication skills and determine what it is you are both looking for.

    If he doesn't know what he is looking for or you get the feeling he is a player (which is the vibe that I got from your description but that's a very limited perspective) then you should leave him and find a more healthy relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sorry to say he really blinded you with his charms, and you bought it.. and yet he has the nerve to say that he wants to carry on with the sex but not with the relationship. He used you for sure.

    1|0
    0|1
  • He sounds mad, the sooner you get out the better to be honest...

    0|0
    0|0
  • i don't think you work together I would go out there and find a new guy.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...