A question about 20 year old guys...
***THIS IS ABOUT A SITUATION MY FRIEND IS IN***
Will he respect her boundaries?
They've been hanging out for three days. There was some chemistry there in the beginning and on the second day she kissed him. Not a makeout session, just a kiss on the mouth. He got a little handsy during the kiss but she moved his hands back to her waist and held them there.
On the third day she went to his dorm and they were watching T.V. and cuddling and he put his hand on her breast. She got upset and told him that she had boundaries for touching and left.
They've been texting a little - she's still upset about it. He asked her if she just doesn't like being touched at all or if it was just that he touched her there. She said it was that he touched her there.
He said the girls he'd been with before never had boundaries and since she didn't object to the kissing he thought it would be okay.
She specified her boundaries on touching, kissing, sexual things to him then over text.
The question is, if they hang out in the future, will he respect her boundaries or cross them?
He didn't know of them when they started hanging out but now he does. Do you think he will respect them?
Does it depend on the guy?
I asked my boyfriend and he said that since she didn't lay down the law in that area before getting physical (kissing) he had no way of knowing (other than prior experience with girls) what was okay or not, and that he probably would not respect the boundaries in the future.
What are your thoughts?
She really likes this guy aside from the fact that he just crossed the line tonight. She came to our dorm in tears about it. And I could only tell her that in order to know what kind of guy he was she'd have to hang out with him again.
What do you think?
He's had 3 prior sexual partners
He's really laid back but enjoys partying
Not that those three things would mean anything but maybe they will to someone.
- He'll respect themVote A
- He won't respect themVote B
Most Helpful Guy
"She specified her boundaries on touching, kissing, sexual things to him then over text." is like Charlie Brown / Lucy, made me laugh some -
like Lizzie said, he didn't know her boundaries at first - that's understandable.
will he repeat offend? I want to say yes, he got in trouble, learned his lesson, but honestly, it's like a dog with a treat on its nose. he may not be able to resist. one more repeat offense & I think yeah he's probably about something your friend is not.
how old is your friend, by the way?0