Is it gross for a 20 year old to date a 30 year old?

Now before you answer and automatically say "gross"

Remember there's a huge age gap 10 years.

I have an 30 year old friend who is tired to getting asked by women in their 20's how old he is.

Why does it matter as long as you are of age and are attracted to one another?

Is it a big deal?

Ok 20 is fine?

What about just 2 more years? What if she's 18 and he's 30 or even older?

I have prepared the following examples:

Paul Wesley

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Hes 30

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Is 32

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Ian Somerhalder Age: 34

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ADAM LEVINE is 34

you mean to tell me its "gross" for him to date an 18 year old?

link

ok lets push it further

Ryan Reynolds

Is 36 Too gross for 18?

What about DAVID BECKHAM?- he's 38

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Josh Duhamel is 40

Ok what about wolverine? Hugh jackman he's 44

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Really?

What about if he's 46?

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that's jason statham.

Ok what about 48?

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At what point do you just go? "oh he's too old"

Whats the deal with that? It seems like a big deal to women and yet I see these examples of the sexiest men and their ages and think, OK what's the big deal?

Updates:
Age does not equal maturity, this is for certain. How many man child boys have you heard of who still play video games who have no goals in life and don't plan on having children or a family?

Certainly this more closely matches 18.

So then the actual number is not what matters, providing the maturity level and attraction to one another.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think 10 years is borderline. It's not just about looks but also differnet lives. How much are 18 year old and 30 year old have in common? Even if they interests values and morals, their lives are gonna be essentially different. One just started college, the other graduated years ago, has established a career and is ready to have family.

    Ya sure some men are still attractive at 50, but that's the exception not rule. Ian Somerhalder and Paul Wesley play teenagers. They look good because they look younger than they are. Jason Statham looks more like this link and married to a supermodel, because he's extraordinary. Showing pictures of good looking celebrities at any age doesn't mean anything. While good looking for their age david beckham, Hugh jackman and jason statham are old enough to be my dad and looked way hotter a few years back.

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    • "showing pictures of good looking celebrities at any age doesn't mean anything."

      Actually it does, it demonstrates that its simply a number as long as you are good looking and attractive. Plus if your interests and values match because that 18 year old is very mature for their age, then its just a number.

      Seems to me all that matters is your attraction to one another. Especially since everything else can be worked out.

What Girls Said 10

  • I think that the place you are in your life is more important then your actual age. If you are both about the same stage in your life and have similar goals then age shouldn't be a massive problem.

    However I think more than 15 years should be considered more carefully because you are likely to find that you end up at different stages in your lives as the years go buy - e.g. a 18 year old and a 35 year old may be at similar stages but when you take that to 30 year old and a 47 may be at very different stages in their lives.

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  • It's not gross and it's not unheard of.

    Really it's only a big deal if you make it a big deal.

    With such a large age gap some people often question the motives of the couple (people seem to jump to conclusions about one person just using the other, or wonder what either person has to gain from the relationship, etc.)...

    Anyways everyone has different opinions on what their personal limit would be when it comes to age gaps in dating. It's important not to let others' judgments get to you. Especially if you're happy and having an honest relationship.

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    • Why does every woman ask me and my guy friends how old they are?

      Like for him he says he gets asked every single time. By every woman. WHy would it be every single woman he talks to?

    • I dunno, maybe women just don't think you or your friend look your age and they get curious. I ask both men and women their ages if I don't think I can guess it myself or if I want to get a feel for where they might be at in their life (school, career, etc.)

      And like I said when it comes to dating, people all have different age limits in mind.

  • The only probably that could arise from the type of unorthodox relationship is maturity. Is he as immature as a a 20 year old? Or will she be as mature as a 30 year old? Also the large gap can prove some difficulty in the relationship too; them wanting different things from life...like he could be wanting to get married and have kids in the next few year, while she vomits at the thought of kids. And just in the everyday lifestyle things might not be, like she could be still be in school and just being young (partying & drinking & getting high) ,while he has a stable job and a mortgage and goes to bed every night at 9.

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  • I don't think it's gross if two of the same people have the same level of maturity and views on life. He shouldn't worry, there's plenty of girls out their who worry about older guys liking them because they are much younger.

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  • Im 30 and date 20 year olds no problem

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  • no it's not

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  • I've liked a guy twice my age and I'm 20. And my current boyfriend is 12 years older. Nothing gross. I love older men.

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  • No I guess not as long as they love each other

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  • I had a FWB 10 years younger then me does that count?

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  • I become good friends with a guy when I was 17 and he was 30. I thought he was like 26 and he thought I was at least 23! haha. We hung out for a while and he started to like me. Then we found out each others' age and I was cool with being friends. Eventually he asked me out but I said no because I felt that we'd eventually break up because I couldn't relate to him on many lvls and vice versa. In a relationship you get a lot more intimate with someone in terms of conversation and I think it'd be weird for him to hear about my hw and classes when that was 6 years ago for him.

    That's just us personally, I think a lot of people can make it work and its up to the individuals. For me, now that I'm almost 21 I think I'd date up to 34 if he was a really great amazing person. I have a lot of friends in the late 20s (as well as my age) so it could go anywhere I guess. I think I'd prefer my age range or +5 because otherwise they might be uncomfortable hanging out with my friends who are my age in a group.

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What Guys Said 7

  • People think too much about what other people will think of them... it's all about what would the public/friends or family think of me? Honestly I'm in the same boat as you and your friend, I'd date someone happily date a woman I was attracted to even if she was in her forties...

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  • 32 and dated a 24 y/o for a while. The biggest issue will always be emotional maturity. It's not the actual age gap, it's where the age gap arises. I'd say 25 is the cut off for me. Anyone younger than that is just a sex based relationship. Of course there are exceptions. It's not gross at all, honestly.

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  • No. As long as you're compatible why not? You're both grown.

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  • honestly who cares? they are both adults they can make their own decisions.

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  • Yeah it is. Come on it's a 10 year gap.

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  • no anything goes in the human condition.

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  • There's nothing creepy or weird about a guy being attracted to a 20 year old. But a lot of people will assume she's a gold-digger. I've seen 50 year old dudes with 20 year olds, and honestly, the only thing I think about it is she's probably a gold-digger (especially when the guy is driving an expensive sports car).

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