Is the guy I'm talking to, talking to other people on the side or am I just paranoid?

I have been talking to this guy for almost three months and we are technically "dating" meaning we're not seeing other people but we don't have the title of girlfriend or boyfriend. When we started talking it was great. We would text all day and on occasion a message wouldn't be delivered because of phone service issues. I would always go visit him, and spend the night sometimes and vice versa. I even met his daughter and pretty much all of his friends. Lately I feel like he is being distant from me. We don't text as much and when we do its not much. When we do hang out everything feels normal. And he tells me he really likes me, and cares about me a lot but doesn't want a girlfriend because of his past, which I completely understand. Am I just being paranoid because of my own trust issues from my past or should I be concerned.?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just for avoidance of doubt, when you say "the guy I'm talking to," do you also mean, "the guy I'm regularly having sex with," "the guy I go out with on a regular basis with and do couple-y things like kiss and sexually play with," or "the guy I'm talking to and nothing else?"

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    • we do all of the above.

    • Show All
    • You're pretty much wasting your time. If you truly liked someone would anything come between you dating him? Even whatever your last boyfriend did?

    • Harvey may be right here. BUT, if he's not seeing anyone else and if his trust issues are recent, it might be the case that with a bit of time he'll work it out.

What Guys Said 1

  • I have to ask, is he aware that you're "dating"?

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    • yes, he was the one who suggested it.

    • How long ago did he tell you that he doesn't want a girlfriend due to his past and how did that come up?

    • sometime last week, he'll either bring it up or he'll say it when one of his friends joke around about when is he going to ask me to be his girlfriend.

What Girls Said 3

  • He's free to do so if he wants. He could be talking to 1000 girls and that would be alright.

    You've agreed to a casual relationship and he basically told you you will never be his girlfriend.

    Are you sure this is a relationship you want to be in?

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    • when he brought up us dating, we both agreed that we would not talk to anyone else.

    • Well still - he's told you it's a go nowhere relationship. You're essentially exclusive friends with benefits... It's probably not that he wants to be with you rather more like he doesn't want you banging others while you're with him. It's a male pride thing... Also if he's unwilling to commit to you he probably wouldn't have a problem lying about you about how exclusive he actually is... It's not cheating if you're not in a relationship.

  • Sounds like he is just a FWB and wants to keep it that way. If you want something more you may want to pursue other avenues. I have been there before. It usually doesn't end well.

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    • this is what I thought, but he has told me on multiple occasions that he wants to be with me, he just wants to make sure I'm trustworthy and not going to do what all of his exes did to him. which I understand because I'm a little apprehensive about the whole thing from my previous relationships.

  • I believe you should learn more about this guy before putting a title on it and/or making assumptions.

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