Online relationships, when do you ask if they are still actively using the site/app?

So when do you ask if the person you're steadily seeing is still using the online dating platform..OKC..POF..Tinder... whatever it is?

I feel like if the guy asks, he will be marked as controlling, possessive, insecure, and not trusting the girl. Of course it is much easier for girls to date online, so its only natural the guy feels a bit insecure, having 100s of suitors hit her up.

Do you just keep dating and assume she is no longer doing it? Or wait for her to bring it up? What's the procedure here?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I disagree personally. I think women have more to fear when it comes to looking controlling, possessive, and clingy. Because the stereotype (and therefore most likely the majority) is that woman have these traits, guys have committment issues, and therefore is seen as a turn off. And is why it didn't come up in my relationship for like three months. I suggest having an exclusivity talk, and then delete your profile. Some sites will let you hide your profile amd perhaps let you see if she does the same. Maybe try telling her that you deleted yours because she's the only woman your interested in, she should reapond back with some indication of doing the same.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • How long have you been together?

    Just have the exclusivity chat. That should cover all bases in real life and online.


What Guys Said 1

  • It does seem like a sticky situation to be in.

    It might do well to simply ask if they want to be in an exclusive relationship, or ask what exactly it is that the two of you are doing; in other words, are you just casually dating, are you a couple, friends with benefits, etc., and perhaps make it clear that you want to be in a committed relationship. That should help to cover the question of whether or not she is or will still be using the site without necessarily bring up the question.

    Honesty is one of the most important, critical aspects of a relationship though, regardless of what anyone else may try to tell you. So if need be, do come out and directly ask her. Or maybe even start it off with saying what you've done; perhaps you've closed your account and could mention that to see if she's done something similar or if she's still looking.