How can I get out of exclusivity while still dating?

I just came back from a second date where he asked for exclusivity and I agreed out of awkwardness. How to get out of it while still dating him? Story below:

So I have been getting to know a guy for the past two weeks. We went on two dates and one gathering. First date after meeting was at a restaurant and he held my hand. For a second date he wanted wine and a movie at his. I side-stepped it and offered a gathering at my place instead. He came. Second date was another invite at his, I offered a carride instead, he agreed. During that date he mentioned his place for alcohol again and I mentioned I couldn't. As you can see I was trying to avoid the booze+couch scenario.

End of second date, we sat in his car and he mentioned how he would love to see where this goes. I agreed but said I wanted to take it slow. I mentioned exclusivity (as in aiming towards that) and he said yes, as he is dating me he is just dating me, no one else. I was feeling awkward so I agreed, but in truth I can feel that he only wanted exclusivity to get into my pants, or at least it felt like it. Plus I want to date others! I just met the guy, I don't know if I want just him!

So what do you think guys? How can I backpedal and get out of exclusivity with this guy? Thanks!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Break up with him?

    I don't get the exclusive/non-exclusive thing. Maybe because I was always more of a relationship/take it slow kind of guy and dated one girl at a time, but why do you need to be dating a few guys at once? If you don't know how things are with this guy, then give it a few more dates and see. If it you don't want to be exclusive with this guy, chances are you don't want to be with him and it's leading nowhere. Are you so desperate that you need to be with multiple guys at once that you can't give it a shot?

    Fact is you already agreed to exclusivity. Backing out will just hurt him. It's as simple as that. If you really want to back out of it but still date him, then talk to him and hope for the best. There's no trick that anyone online will give you for this.

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    • You made a few good points. I am the same kind of girl. I like taking it slow and getting to know someone before dating them. The fact that we had the talk on the second date is what is freaking me out and making me think this guy is just a player trying to say the right things. Isn't it being so quick a red flag?

    • Ah I understand now. Not necessarily. I don't know the guy, but seems if he's a player, wouldn't the opposite be true, that he wouldn't want to be exclusive? Does he ever pressure you for sex? Does he ever come off as a player? Maybe he's just a nice guy. Get to know him a bit more in public and see how things go.

What Girls Said 1

  • You can't really do that... Well you can but you may lose him.

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