Do you feel that women have unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating?

I have read that women have unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating. Things like the guy needing to be "Mr. Perfect" and such come to mind.

So I ask guys: do you feel that women have unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating? Where do you feel they are going "too far?"

Girls: Do you feel your expectations are rational? Where do you think expectations are "too high?" Do you know of anyone who is looking for something that is "out of her league?"


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No. Most girls would drop and suck your dick if you brought her flowers and chocolate because no guys ever do that anymore. In fact, we have very low expectations of you guys. Because you don't seem to try very hard. I'd say guys probably have higher expectations than girls. When a guy takes off his shirt, no girl is waiting for a hairless tan 6pack, but when a girl takes off her makeup, most guys are disgusted that she isn't flawless. I personally don't ask much from my boyfriend. Remember the things I say and do little things like open my door and kiss my forehead. I just want to feel cared for. And I'm glad/lucky that my boyfriend loves the way I look naturally and thinks I'm the best there is. Because most girls try and try and never meet the standards of men. I'm extremely lucky that I don't have to try too hard. Because I have before, and let me tell you, it fucking hurts not to measure up to the girls you masterbate to instead of asking us out.

    I'm sorry to sound so blunt, but that's my reality and how I see things

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    • Bull! You gotta be kidding me! Someone, please tell me this is a dream. It's you girls that are the picky ones. Let's see here, one rejected me because she likes guys that makes more money than her. Another rejected me because she wasn't "Sexually attracted" to me. So uh yea, you girls are just as in to looks as guys are. Who are you kidding really?

      Not to mention, you all judge us on the kind of jobs we have! Guys aren't that judgemental. I think we are less picky with looks

    • You aren't less picky with looks. I heard way too many times in highschool that I wasn't worth dating because I have A-cups. That's what's bullshit. I don't know how you met the first girl, I've never known a girl to be that shallow. The second one isn't obligated to be attracted to you... At least she didn't say its because you're fat or short or some crap. It could have just been overall she wasn't feeling it. But she should have given you a chance. I think just about everyone deserves a shot

    • I wasn't even attracted to my boyfriend when I met him. But now I'm absolutely in love. He's a once in a life time kind of person. He doesn't have a job, and I don't care. I really don't. He'll get one some day. I stand by EVERY WORD I said in my answer. Read it again... Every word. This is not a dream, I'm not kidding you, I'm not exaggerating, that's my truth. I'm not trying to be rude, promise! Just honest. I don't lie, especially here. I answer any question honestly or not at all

What Girls Said 12

  • Yeah we got too high expectations I won't even lie when it comes to that. Personally I'm really insecure about myself so I always approach guys whom I think are on the same level with me. Usually average looking guys that seem innocent but are anything but that to be honest. I always like to keep it safe because I was once rejected in my life by a guy whom I liked really much and I thought he was out of my league but it was worth a try to try and approach him.

    And yeah there are lots of Mr.Perfect's out there but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's by a guy's look that you can define that - but it is usually that looks attract and all those stereotypes about prince perfect who is a good looking guy on a white horse coming into your life to save the day. Not true most of the times because I have met lots of guys who are really good looking and out of my league to be seen with me and still they are too cocky about themselves - a total turn off if you ask me.

    And damn right our expectations are not reasonable. I reckon there are too many good guys out there who are not even seen because they're not that flashy or impressive for women to notice but those guess deserve our most attention to be quiet honest.

    Overall we all have high expectations and our feet never touch the ground because we wanna believe in something that sounds good rather than live reality and its shitty problems that come along.

    Hope this helped ya!

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    • Quite a detailed answer. What do you feel caused such a mindset among women in general that causes you to see things the way you do?

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    • Doesn't bother me at all. Thanks for providing in depth info because I'm noticing a lot of girls' behaviors overall and trying to see where they are coming from. I was told by my last girlfriend that I was "too good to be true" also.

    • Maybe because she saw your heart and maybe because of your qualities. When girls tend to meet guys in a more personal level then they usually are more interested in the person they are other than their looks they once saw in them. If you show a girl you are a genuine guy who will consider her and if you talk with her for hours and if you just show your interest in her he will think you are too good to be true, because let's face it.. Not all guys are like that and it is very rare to find a guy

  • I don't need a guy to be "Mr. Perfect" as there is no such thing. However, it's important to have some standards if you desire a good relationship, as long as they aren't unrealistic or unreasonable. Unrealistic expectations to me are things like: he has to be rich, or super tall, or looks like a model, or has a certain job, etc. No no no. I find the types of girls who want those guys generally end up being unhappy in their relationship.

    If I was single and dating, it would be important to me that the guy complements me and my interests, and vice versa. So for example: I am a musician, I like to try new foods or activities, I think family is important, I like to have my alone time, stuff like that. It would be important to me to find someone who is a musician or just likes music, and would enjoy going to the symphony, who likes his family, etc. I'm not really sure if those qualify as expectations or what, lol. I'm happy to have found someone who fits that mold, and I'm sure there are others who could fit it as well, not just the one guy.

    It's also okay to stray from your set standards or amend them a little bit to broaden your dating pool so you meet people who are "out of your league" (I hate that phrase, really. Nobody is out of anyone's league).

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  • I don't know. I sort of see it from both sides, some people have too high of expectations from a partner but then at the same time people seem completely indiscriminate in who they choose to be in a relationship with.

    Keep in mind what relationships are generally (generally!) for - finding someone you're compatible with to potentially spend an entire lifetime with, have kids with and live with for the rest of your life.

    Expectations for that sort of thing should be high! And I don't think girls really really have ridiculous expectations, they just want to be with a particular type of person they're compatible for a lifetime with.

    My "expectations" are to find someone who I'm compatible with. We need to have chemistry, laugh together, have the same values, partake in the same type of lifestyle and genuinely care about each other. They're not "unrealistic" or too high I don't believe but when I turn someone down.

    I think some guys mistake expectations for things like looks, money, financial stability and material things like that and that's not the case.

    Yes, relationships can be awesome but if you're with the wrong person it can be a total nightmare!

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  • Well my friend was smarter, skinnier and better looking than me and the only boyfriend she was ever happy with was this broke and uneducated guy who did manual labour at a factory job. I'm not as smart or as pretty as her and I almost dated this phd student that I met at a top school - he was studying botany - I rejected him because he would mock me to see how sincere I was about my convictions and opinions: I thought there was a possibility he might be emotionally abusive or destructive. Another time I got a guy that was about twice as good looking as me and smarter than me too chasing after me for 3 months - skipping his classes in school to do so cause he thought I was sweet and innocent so no I do not think my standards are too high. IT's all about what y0u want.

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  • Well, I'll be blunt. If a woman is capable of attracting a man who is smart, handsome, and exciting with a stable career, then why would she settle for any less than that?

    My mom's friend is still unmarried at almost 50 and her standards are pretty much those... Plus he needs to be 6 feet, because she's really tall. That is the kind of thing I find silly. She's always complaining that she's single, but in reality, her six foot five, handsome and wealthy prince charming is not going to fall out of the sky any time soon.

    But really, why would a young, cute, intelligent girl want to date someone she thinks is ugly, stupid, and unable to support a family? Luckily, "ugly" and "stupid" are subjective, so there is hope for most people in that department.

    Girls of all kinds are usually put off by lazy dudes who don't go to school/have no job/have no dreams in life. Laziness puts us off because it connects to 1) making no money so we can never go on a fun date every once in a while besides just sitting around 2) bad hygiene 3) just plain boring, sitting on the couch all day playing video games instead of being passionate about something whether it's that he wants to be a doctor, a musician, an artist, a freaking accountant... Just something, doesn't even have to make money, but laziness is just a big thing that turns 99% of girls off.

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  • No I think that men are unrealistic in that they expect to treat us like sluts and use us for sex when they could just be honest and get hookers. I'm NOT saying ALL guys use us but the number of men I have met wanting just to have sex does make me see that they are not at all realistic about women and their needs.

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  • I honestly think it's the guy who has an unrealistic expectations. My expect ions are rational I don't expect too much and I know a girl who is but she's always in between guys

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  • I think mine are rational, but are slightly high. I don't want a guy who smokes, does drugs, or drinks in excess. I want a guy who is sweet and can be my rock. I prefer guys who are smarter, but if the guy isn't as smart as me, then it's fine.

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  • first) it is more of chemistry and physical attraction for me 2nd) personality

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  • No, I think it's the opposite!

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  • Meh, I think it's only guys with lots of flaws and are deemed undatable that say that

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  • Like what? Everyone here says women have to high expectations but no one list any. It seems like the men here are only saying that because they can't get a date or a relationship so they make up excuses instead of recognizing their own flaws.

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    • Thats a load of shit. Because girls throw out so many double standards when it comes to prying on your profile but it's okay for them to be assertive. But if you are you're just a arrogant a**hole or they think you aren't over your ex.

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    • I don't see anything wrong with wanting someone good looking either. Guys only chase the good looking girls as it is but if the girl wants a good looking guy suddenly it's bad?

    • @QA That's my point exactly. Its literally programmed into our brains to want some attractive.

What Guys Said 6

  • Just for casual sex. For relationships/marriage men are just as picky, if not more.

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    • Yes, if its for casual sex, I could be extremely picky. I'd judge everything from the car to the haircut. Mainly because I'm looking to not get an std. And so if its a penis car or the hair looks too focused on or unkept, I'll pass. As for boyfriend material, I don't sweat the small stuff, I judge what I consider to be the more important things

    • How does a person's car or haircut have anything to do with them having an STD or not? I highly doubt I can see a girl going "Oh... he drives a Honda... he must have herpes!" or "Look at that cowlick... he's gotta have syphillis..."

    • Really? I'm the opposite. With a friends with benefits, all I "require" in a guy is to be a pleasant personality and good at sex. With a boyfriend, I'd want someone who's around the same level as attractiveness as me and has similar interests (art, music)

  • -If you don't have a stellar career that they think it socially acceptable they won't date you. But it's okay if they were to work at starbucks making minimum wage.

    -If you are assertive in stating your standards and who should or shouldn't contact you so you're not wasting each others time they talk shit on you and send you evil messages out of spite. When they are doing it as well.

    -it's ridiculous how girls will accuse you of being superficial or shallow when flirting with them like all you care about is their looks when a majority of them are no where as beautiful as my ex's.

    Your better off meeting through Facebook 'if' you have one or just network through your friends or you'll eventually meet someone through your hobbies.

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  • I feel that people in general have unrealistic expectations. We're all looking for someone that embodies all of our ideal mental, physical, and financial situations. The problem is that people aren't perfect so we all have flaws. There is no ideal because there is no perfection. We all have to do the best with what we have and hope that people will accept our shortcomings if you accept theirs. I think that's life.

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  • Oh yes for sure! A guy has to have good looks, make at least 60k a year. A high status job. Basically, he has to be perfect. this whole stigma that women aren't as visual as men? Give me a break. This last one rejected me cause she wasn't "Sexually attracted to me" So uh yea, women only want good looking guys, never average. All females these days are more visual than guys I belive. Another one rejected me because my job isn't "doctor, lawyer" And she accused me of living in a crappy apartment when at the same time, she still lives with her parents! Yea, its the women that expect way way way too much these days

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  • They are only unrealistic if they don't happen.

    Unfair? Absolutely.

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  • well we are entitled to our preferences, but it seems women are more entitled to it than men are, because it seems what the woman wants is far more important than what the man wants or nothing happens

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