Dating a guy who had a plan to never get serious or re-marry for 8 years

When I met my now boyfriend he was very guarded, he told me he had a plan to wait 8 years (until his kids went off to college) before he was going to even think about dating seriously or re-marry. Long story short, the plan failed, we fell in love and he admits I messed up his whole plan, but he still doesn't know what he wants or what the future holds for us. We've been dating 4 months and it's great but I worry that his plan will come back into play at some point and I don't want to waste my time because I do eventually want to get married again. Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You have not really been dating this guy long enough to say he's marriage material or not, so realistically, you should at least date for a year before bringing your concerns to him, and if he still has resevations as to what he wants, then you should really look for someone who has the same desires as you,x

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What Guys Said 2

  • 4 months is not long enough to know if you are both marriage material yet. Love or puppy love, hard to tell at this pooint. More like puppy love, but may have potential.

    Don't be in such a hurry, slow down and get to know each other better. Take your time and build the relationship. Talk it over later on. Let it be known that you may at some point want marriage, but don't dwell on it.

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  • You're not going to change him. Guys are straight talkers and he told you he's not getting married for 8 years at the minimum. Move on.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You're only 4 months in. I know it's important to know what direction your relationship is going but this is really early.

    If you truly love this man do you really need a legal contract to be satisfied and content with him?

    Why not just enjoy your time together and see where it ends up rather than trying to force it in a particular direction.

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    • That being said I agreed to start dating my man based on no future, exclusivity or anything. 7 months later he's saying he could marry me, have another kid and spend his life with me after previously saying he'd rather die than do any of those things ever again.

  • It's only been 4 months. You need to slow down and see where the relationship goes. I would say around the one year mark you should know what his intentions are. But he said 8 years, so I would say he knows what he wants.

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  • Please move on. Do not settle.

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