If an overweight girl and an overweight guy start dating, has one of them likely "settled" on the other?

Choices are limited in the dating pool if you're overweight. In general, not always, but most of the time, an overweight person's viable options for dates are also overweight themselves. However, aren't men and women both are attracted to "normal-sized" people no matter how much they weigh themselves? So, when an overweight girl and an overweight guy get together, does it necessarily indicate that one of them was lazy, impatient, etc. and "settled" for a less-than-ideal partner?

  • Yes, one of them likely settled for less than they wanted.
    40% (6)25% (2)35% (8)Vote
  • No, they could be really happy together.
    60% (9)75% (6)65% (15)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think its honestly both. We put emphasis on what we find important but then we have ideals that surpass our real needs/desires. Most people dream of perfect looking partners but if someone does stay in shape most likely (hopefully) they don't think its super important so it won't be too high on the list of factors for a loved one. For instance my body isn't perfect and although I have a clear idea of the perfect guys body I would easily "settle" for a body less perfect than the one I have in mind. Because to me body isn't super high on my priorities, that doesn't mean I'm settling on the person it simply means no one is perfect and I found a guy who is awesome for me even if his body isn't ideal.

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What Girls Said 10

  • They probably both settled for each other, but settling and being really happy together aren't mutually exclusive by any means. Nobody is going to be the perfect partner, and everyone is going to settle on somethings about their partner no matter how attractive and nice they themselves are. Whether the settling has to do with physical appearance, personality traits, or both, settling exists in every relationship. Accepting one another for your flaws is essential to an emotionally mature relationship.

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  • Statistically, there's a good chance that one of them-if not both-settled. Being fat isn't conventionally attractive in today's society, as we all know. It's gotten to the point where people are killing themselves so they can be thin like the models and photoshopped images that are shoved down our throats each day. So it's definitely a good chance that these images have influenced most people, including fat people, to find thinness attractive since it's pounded into our heads everywhere we turn. I have two skinny female friends that love fat guys. So what I'm saying is that fat can like fat, fat can like skinny, skinny can like fat, and skinny can like skinny. Most of the time, people of all body types are attracted to very thin girls with curves or thin-muscular guys since the media portrays those body types as attractive.

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  • I personally think it depends on the age and maturity level. Yes, physical attraction is important at all stages of life, but I think a mature adult doesn't chose who the are with based on looks...it might be the first thing they notice but after awhile its going to be compatibility that matters.

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  • You can't expect from others something you can't give so no, in this case it would be them more likely getting more realistic with their expectations than settling.

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  • Yes it could be.I mean if they able to find someone who isn't overweight I don't think he/she will want him/her.

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  • I would say they both settled

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  • The guy settled. The guy can do better in looks if he has game, money, or a big penis.the girl can't because she's fat

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  • If you ask it that way, I'd think that they "both settled"! I mean, if they're both overweight. Unless one or both of them have a chub fetish...

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  • Probably just the guy settled since guys care way too much about looks.

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  • In my opinion I kind of think so.

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What Guys Said 7

  • It really depends on the guy. Many people out there date for different reasons. Look how many people out there don't date good looking guys because of their personalities.

    There can be an overweight guy looking for a food passionate women so they can have eating contests together for all we know. Some people really just want company and don't care what their partner looks like. Some just want someone to talk to. There could be a guy who actually dated good looking women and got tired of waiting for them in the restaurant every time she went to the bathroom to fix her hair for 10 minutes over and over again. We don't really know why people date who they do. We just see good looking people getting dates because of the way society in general was raised.

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  • voted B, and this may sound at pars too cheesy and at parts cynic:

    first the cynic. you see a Victoria Secret model, and you are "man! this Palvin girl is PERFECT" and then you start dating a VERY pretty girl but you do not see her in parades or magazines, tell me, did you settle for the pretty girl who is NOT a model? I mean, probably we all have had a celebrity crush,and unless your partner looks like straight out of a movie, then, by your logic, you settled for her, because she was below your ideal, and, quoting "you were lazy, impatient" while you should have been fighting for a movie star.

    now, it is not only about overweight people, regardless of looks, people have preferences, so, if you like blondes and date a brunette, are you settling for a lesser person?

    about the apparently contradicting preferences (overweight liking skinny), while I DO NOT have a preferences for tall girls (height is absolutely irrelevant to me), save ONE girl, everyone I have dated has been taller than me, and while most girls prefer TALL, I do not believe I have been dating "avobe my league" when with taller girls, and my girlfriend (the only girl who has not been taller than me) is the most beautiful of all, so just like the taller girls where not "more than I deserved", my girlfriend is clearly no less because she is shorter than the others, and it has NOTHING to do with "short dude, he settled for the short girl", since I KNOW I can date taller whenever I want, but while ALL super models will surely be taller than my girl, I RATHER MY GIRL.

    IF someone is settling indeed, shame on them, in my book that is about the worst thing you can do to a person, and in that much you make a point, it will be shamefull if a rockstar kind of guy feels like his girl is "just barely enough", but now a not-so-great-looking guy looks down on his girl it is like 10 times worse, but the offense is essentially the SAME.

    now the cheesy part, you see, again, I do not believe all those tall girls were with me out of pity, in fact TODAY one of them came across me and was like "you dating? you see, I miss you", and I SO not say this to brag, I say this to illustrate my point, I guess no girl wants a shorter guy, so I am sure I was SO not her ideal, but she clearly did not "settle" for me, she was with me because she WANTED it.

    what I try to say, I am probably nodobys "perfection" concept, but who ever is? now I may really sound egomaniac but, if I managed to date Emma Watson, I would probably think "man! I am my own hero", but going as far as to think "I am lucky she settled for me"? NAY! I have a WONDERFULL WOMAN by my side, and while I feel lucky, she is not doing me a favor, nor settling for me, yeah she SURE can date someone much more handsome, but she LOVES me, and call me naive, but if the avobe mentioned Watson were to offer herself to me TODAY, I would decline, that is how much I am not settling for my girl, I CHOOSE MY GIRL AVOBE ANYBODY ELSE

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  • I'm declining to vote in the poll, but I'm amused to see your question a mere 24 hours after I read a sample chapter from Paul Oyer's new book, Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Economics I Learned from Online Dating. Just read the first chapter (its free on hbr.org, I'm hoping the link below works - if not just google the free chapter of it and it'll take you to a link to generate an instance for yourself). Its worth the read. I imagine you'll think about your question a little differently after reading it.

    link

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  • I said A only because they both settled to be over weight. I know there's a huge list of excuses on why people "can't" loose weight but if someone really wanted to they would.

    I hope this doesn't seem like I'm attacking over weight people because many of my friends are over weight.

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  • Who says anyone settled? There are people that are attracted to overweight guys/girls. Just because it isn't "normal" doesn't mean they aren't extremely happy with their choice. Screw being "normal", it's boring. Do what makes you happy, it's your life.

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  • possible but not necessarily

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  • While I do typically end up attracted to girls at a healthy weight (say, 110-130), I can be attracted to somewhat overweight people too. It's not all about the looks (although, I will say even slightly overweight people can still have cute faces, smiles, etc.), but also about the personality. I don't think either person usually settles if both are in a relationship and overweight. Often times, there's probably something about them, either physical or personality wise, that they find attractive even though others may not/may not even know about whatever it is they like.

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