Should I be the one to text first? is he interested?

Okay so I have been texting this guy for a couple weeks now and I won't hear from him unless I text him first. When we do talk, we have really long conversations. We talk about everything and anything, even random things. I asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said he was down to hang out. We had a hang out planned for last night but right before, he said he couldn't go because he was sick. I don't know if this was an excuse to get out of hanging out or if it was the truth. He said he was looking forward to hanging out but who knows. The thing is I don't know if he is interested in hanging out or not. And if I should just move on and not waste my time

The weird thing about this situation is that we have not talked to in person yet because a friend gave him my number without me knowing. Him and I had volunteering together but I was never able to talk to him in person. We have a few mutual friends in common and that is who we were also going to hang out with.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Rubber-band theory dear. Don't chase him. He'll use and abuse you. I've even seen good guys take advantage of a girl willing to do all the work. I know you like him, but if you want to redeem yourself, pull back on that rubber band (stop contacting him) and stand firm. If he really likes you, it will activate his hunter mode and he will be after you, texting you first, and making plans, if he really likes you. If he doesn't contact you - and he's not some severe introvert with insecurity problems - he doesn't like you enough to chase you and won't put forth the effort. Don't give up though. I've seen this work with a guy like this. Make sure not to fall back into the habit of initiating a lot until you've been out on a few dates. It can kill the attraction and "chase" in the guy's mind. If he doesn't text you, don't fret! Like your life. You acting like you're having fun is the most attractive quality. You don't need a guy that won't put forth any effort. Good luck. :)


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What Girls Said 2

  • Don't always text first. If you are doing it all the time, you have to step back and he'll see if he wants to talk to you, he'll text/call you first. I went through this with a guy where I would always initiate and one day I stopped now he calls/texts me all the time. It's OK to start the conversation every now and then, but if he's interested, he should be doing it the majority of the time.

  • You shouldn't be texting him first