How do I get a girl at church to go on a date with me?

There are some really cute girls at church group and I want to go on a date with one and spend time with her and make her my girlfriend, very inexperienced, how do I make a girl at church my girlfriend?

I would like advice from a girls perspective please.

Updates:
Okay one last thing I'd like to know, when should I ask her to hangout or go on a date?
I mean length of time.
Let me rephrase, after first talking to a girl when will she feel comfortable hanging out and going on a date with me?


I don't want to scare her off by asking too early.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • well, I have some advice... based on the fact that you know her from church, I'll assume you are Christian, so advice from a Christian girl's perspective might be closer to what you want. Idk. Some people go to church, but aren't all that convicted, and I have no way of knowing what type you are, so just take what you want of my advice :)

    I can't speak for all Christian girls obviously, but I know that my friends and I all look for certain characteristics in men. First off, that they are Christians (duh). If the girls you are looking at are very converted, they will most likely be able to tell to some extent if you are the real deal or not by the way you act/speak. For example, if you are constantly swearing or speaking bad about someone, it won't reflect well on your character as a Christian, and girls like me won't like that.

    As well as the obvious things that most girls look for, (looks, charm, etc.) Christian girls tend to notice when a man will be a good spiritual leader (this doesn't mean you have to go around talking like a Jesus freak, just have your heart in the right place, and offer encouragement or advice when needed), a good father (good to children, the elderly, animals, must be patient and gentle), a leader (many Christian guys are total pushovers. Obviously don't be controlling or demanding, but you should have a good head on your shoulders, be honest about your wants, and be prepared to offer tough love), and he needs to make her feel safe. Like, she could call at any time for any reason without fear of ridicule. Guys often make girls out to be extremely foolish when they get emotional. Often times, it is pretty foolish, but in the moment, our pain is real, and being told that we're just being hormonal is a horrible feeling. We feel unable to be ourselves.

    So, to answer your question, I wouldn't worry too much about trying to ask a girl out quite yet, as much as I would work on these things in yourself, and then spend more time with the girls in group settings. If there are youth groups, or bible studies or something like that, just put yourself in with where the girls are and start to get to know them. Obviously be gentlemanly, opening doors, giving compliments, and anything else you can think of to be charming, but don't ask her out. The guys in my church that are secretly fawned over are the ones that nobody knows who they like because they are so nice to everyone. One guy just gives compliments all the time to everyone, and he has so many secret admirers. This has gone on several years, so now all he'd need to do is ask a girl out, and he could be married within the year... haha Just be secretive about your affections, and make sure everyone knows you can be their friend.

    I'm kinda rambling (sorry) but one more point. When I'm with a guy I like, I feel uncomfortable. When he's a friend, I feel safe, and I can talk to him. Be a friend, and the secret admirers will start building up!

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What Girls Said 7

  • Try to hang out with these girls outside of church time periods - invite them to go to the movies with you and try to build personal discussion with them. Eventually somebody will become interested in you.

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  • Talk to her :) But don't be creepy, because there's a guy who joined my church choir just to talk to me and he's like a lot older... and he tried to add me on Facebook even though we don't know each other at all and emailed me asking to go ballroom dancing. So I'd say that's a sure-fire way to get denied. Just be natural and don't expect to much right off the bat.

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    • Would he still be creepy if he were the same age as you? The girls I'm interested in at church are around my age.

    • Not necessarily - it's just how you act. That's why I say be natural. Don't try and go for something really big right away, just ask to hang out or something. Asking to go ballroom dancing is a little weird. Not that that was your plan, but you know.

    • Ballroom dancing does sound over the top.

  • this is so cute! just ask her out , ask for her phone number :) be clear about your intentions, girls don't like having to wonder if ai guy is interested or not so tell her you are interested in getting to know her better :)

    - church girl

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  • try asking her if she would like to study scripture with you over coffee sometime!

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  • after you've learned her name and a few other small facts

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  • Say she is beautiful

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  • Talk to them and ask them out.

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What Guys Said 2

  • [ girl mode ]

    Women are the same no matter where you find them.

    [ / girl mode ]

    [ man mode ]

    Just be charming and attentive, as you would with anyone else, but also you must show some form of devotion and interest in your faith. You do not want to seem fake but you also do not want to seem lazy or disassociated.

    [ / man mode ]

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    • Unless he (and, by implication, she) is Catholic. Catholic girls like the bad boys.

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  • Firstly--don't ask women for dating advice. Women say one thing and mean another. When I was very inexperienced and naive, I followed a girl's advice and my date friendzoned me because of it.

    You ask men.

    Anyway. For starters, have you been flirting with the girl? Does she flirt back? If so, that's a sign of interest. If she doesn't flirt back, that's bad, it indicates a lack of interest.

    Okay, I gotta ask, just how inexperienced are you?

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    • She said that we should hangout. I don't know how to flirt but I've gotten dates easy before without flirting, I'm definitely good looking so that works to my advantage I don't have any pictures up because my pictures suck.

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    • uhhh, not true Andy! lol

      I'm very decisive and I know what I want

    • Pardon? I didn't say anything about that. I state that waiting too long to make a move can kill interest. What do you mean?

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