Do you assume that guys should always pay when you go out with someone?

Do you think so? Is that some kind of an obligation?

Or is that taught in your culture?

In the country where I'm from, 95% of the girls think that guys should always pay for the meal, the movies, and every other thing they do on the date. It's like society taught them that way. I often hear my friends saying things to their friends like they should cut a guy off if he doesn't pay for the date. And they do make a big deal out of it.

Moreover, the girls here often thinks that the guy should be always be able to pick them up from their houses, take them to places, and take them back home.

I personally don't like the idea. Most of the times I go out on a date I go dutch.

Thoughts?

  • Yes
    36% (4)25% (2)32% (6)Vote
  • No
    64% (7)75% (6)68% (13)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No I do not think men should always pay when you go out to dinner. Women can pay to because it shows we are independent and don't need someone to always pay for us. In a relationship it takes 2 people to make it run smoothly so why not treat one another to dinner. it should work both ways!

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What Guys Said 7

  • You have no obligation to pay for the bills on a date, but it's a social construct made to convey available ressources. Splitting the bills destroys the nature of the social construct, bluring the lines of interest. You can gauge interest by how much was spent in the first date.

    If the person is dating dutch, and is able to pay all her share of activities during the day, for me its a turn on. I've dated a girl and had to pay for most things in the date and when it didn't work out, I felt like I had been manipulated and robbed (E-Masculated). If I ever meet her again, I'll probably kill the girl, lol. As for the other I dated who was able to pay for her share in the activities, I didn't know how to handle the situation because she didn't accept a dime from my part...Strange yet...It was pleasant.

    Back in the days when traditional was the norm, women didn't work. Nowadays, men and women's salaries are almost equal and it's increadibly costly for MEN to date in the traditional form.

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  • on a first date I will always presume that I will pay but that is simply because it is something I like to do. after that I am always willing to pay but it is actually a conversation I typically bring up early on in getting to know someone to see how they feel about it.

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  • It depends on the message you want to send. Do you want to tell men you are a piece of meat for sale, that you're weak and incapable of getting through life and that you need to find someone to latch on to in order to survive? Or do you you want to say I can stand on my own two, I'm seeing you because I like you and find you interesting? While your girlfriends are judging all the men they date, so to are the men judging the women they date. The image you put out there will determine if you are just a girl to have sex with, or if you might deserve a committed relationship.

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  • I've always paid, taking women out, but then I've often tried to pay going out with a guy friend. I think it's clearly a cultural thing. I think I like to pay as a way to be polite, but I have thought about this recently and it does seem kind of silly. I really don't want a girl that wants me for money.

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    • -_-" you can't keep paying...even if it is cultural ..not going to be fair on u

  • No, I have always paid on the first date because it seems right but if she just assumes I will always pay it gets tiring fast

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  • I definitely won't pay if she sucks (nothing sexual).

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  • That's why I don't date. Women just see guys as a paycheck.

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    • HELL YEAH! $$$$$

      LOL... but really come on buddy -_-

    • So many expect it though and I don't wanna deal with it. If I met someone that wanted to split everything that would great. I don't expect her to pay on the first date and I want the same in return

    • Most of the girls answers show just what I said about them expecting him to pay for the first date and the majority of dates

What Girls Said 16

  • I disagree with them. I believe if women want equality, they should pay the consequences. I believe both should pay for each other. In my relationship my boyfriend paid for the first date, I paid for the second, he paid for the third, I paid for the forth, etc. When my boyfriend is broke I pay for him, when I'm broke he pays for me. Also, both of us buy gifts to each other so nothing is unequal about our relationship. In the beginning of our relationship he was willing to pay for the second date but I got offended and I told him that I don't feel comfortable with it and I explained the reasons.

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  • I don't necessarily see it has an obligation but if the guy is asking a girl out,

    it is only right for one to think that they are being treated/taken care of.

    In case of confusion, a woman should always carry money/credit in case.

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  • I actually prefer, at least for the first few dates, to split the bill on anything that we do. I don't feel right about having the guy pay for everything. I mean , firstly, if you only end up going on one or two dates then it kind of feels like a dick move to make the guy pay, also we live in a society (at least where I live) where everyone is trying to be equals, therefore I don't think it's fair to have a double standard and say treat me equally to a guy, except when we're going on a date, then you must dote on me like you are the breadwinner and I am your arm candy lol

    If you have been dating for a while and want to buy your girlfriend lunch or something that's different, but it should go both ways

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  • I mean maybe 90% of the time he should pay. If were doing more than one activity like a regular night not doing anything overly special with one another and we go to a movie and dinner. I wouldn't mind paying for the movie, but he better pay for my food when we go out to eat.

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  • The person that suggests the date should be the one that pays

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  • I learned this from How I Met Your Mother: The girl should always offer to pay because if the guy can afford it & wants to be a gentleman, then he'll say he's paying. But it apparently makes them feel more manly paying when you offer. Something like that. In my opinion, guys & girls should take turns. It should never be all on one person.

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  • The first few dates, I prefer to split things. If we're actually a couple, I prefer that we take turns paying.

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  • I think there should be other as an answer. The reason I say this is because I believe that whoever asks out (man or woman) is the one doing the paying. No sexism here BTW.

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  • No I usually pay for my own unless he says something ahead of time or he insist that he pays

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  • I've been out on a couple dates before, and both times the guy paid. I didn't expect him to, but it was nice of them to do it. On the second date to the movies, I offered to pay for the tickets, but he insisted, so I bought the popcorn instead. I wouldn't expect the guy to pay every time, but it's a lovely gesture if they offer to :)

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  • Depends.. I don't expect my friend to pay for my movie ticket or coffee but if it's a date it's just like an old tradition.. I'd also be happy if he'd just offer to pay, I'd say no it's alright anyway lol.

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  • It isn't obligation. FirSt official date the guys should pay but subsequent ones It should be on dutch. But if the first date is awkward I would want to go dutch

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  • "I don't want a woman that puts out, but I hate paying for all these dates"

    *man logic*

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  • On the first date since they asked us out

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  • ALWAYS? No.

    MOST OF THE TIME? Yes.

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  • I don't think the guy should pay everytime, but I also don't see a problem if he does. However, I do think it says A LOT about a guy's character if he offers to pay.

    I am a person who is not used to receiving gifts or kind gestures from people. My boyfriend pays for everything. Honestly, he spoils me. I'm not used to it, and I'm often going "no, it's okay, I can pay for myself, it's okay", but he always insists and will argue it with me to the bone.

    So with me, my boyfriend always pays. I just understand that he's not made out of money, so I usually suggest cheaper places to go.

    I think that guys over think it. Most of the time, the girl isn't using them. We're not all golddiggers. It's simply a social construct and a part of our culture.

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    • I used to think that the sole purpose of women was to drain guys of ressources, I found out yesterday that only few actually do and it's those few that tarnish women's reputation as a whole and make the dating world a Trillion times harder.

    • That's really good that you realized that. :)

      I think guys cripple themselves when they narrow their minds like that.

      It opens a lot of doors for you to realize we're not all golddigging monsters out to get you. haha!

    • True, but you can't imagine how many guys fall victim to those girls...They make you feel understood, but once you realize your being taken advantage off, it's too late. Making a huge psychological wound that tells you that women are dangerous and are never to be trusted with anything. That's how much pain a bad experience like that can inflict. Once, you internalize it's just one experience, years have passed.

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