It's a long story. He was severely wounded by an abusive relationship that lasted two years and ended 6 months ago. We were just friends and I was helping him cope, as I have been through it. He initiated more. It was a constant push/pull dynamic. He'd text and want to come over, but would talk himself out of it because he said he'd want to kiss me and didn't want alcohol on his breath for our first kiss, and that he didn't want me to see him cry. I was there for this guy...4am, talking him out of dark places, you name it. It took a lot out of him to even ask me to hang out the first time and he got upset because he was triggered into thinking of her.
Seeing how shy he was and his talking himself out of coming over, I set up plans for him to come and he sabotaged every time. Eventually, things came to a head and he said he really liked me, but was afraid of me getting hurt, that he was broken, he needed to feel alive to truly love and didn't, and that he was sorry I thought it was more that this. I reacted out of hurt and told him I wished I would have never helped him. We both apologized. He text me every day as usual, then disappeared after sending me a "Hey" text one night and not responding to my "Hi". He told his ex girlfriend bye the next night and he disappeared for a week and a half, only to come back with an excuse.
I acted friendly and distant. He retreated. I sent him a text saying I was still there for him. He responded the same minute. We had a convo and I tried to end it, but he interjected, saying he thought he was ready to date again, but was so shy. I kept it friendly and eventually said goodnight. The next morning, he text me "I'm so hunggggry." This was his attempt. I said I was too. He didn't take the bait. The convo ended. Later that night I text him, kidding him and asking if he had been perfecting his skills (in a playful tone). He answered coldly, but proceeded to tell me he was staying at our university instead of transferring and that he had gotten a job. We have a convo, then I end it.
Feeling bad that I had given him a hard time and knowing how shy he is, I sent him this long, sweet message the next morning saying that I knew he was introverted and shy and that I was trying to understand him and make him comfortable, and told him we should get some take-out, come back to my place, chill, and watch a movie. I told him if I was interpreting everything wrong and he wasn't interested, that it was cool and to let me know, so I would drop it and he would strictly be my friend. He proceeded to say he was busy with roommate stuff, though he wanted to one day, and he guessed we could if he had free time. Before I could respond, he text me changing his tune and we set a time. He bailed on me again that night by texting me near our meetup time saying, just saying "I'm so tired". I didn't respond. He never said anything and I blew up at him, saying that he had hurt me for the last time...continued
He didn't say anything to me for two days. I broke down the third day and text him.
He responded an hour later with this: "I'm not ready to try and move on."
My response was: "Okay. Thank you for finally being honest and responding. I'll keep you in my prayers. If you ever need me, you know how to reach me. I just want to say one last thing. You can never say I was one of those girls that just walked away and didn't try."
I was reminding him that everyone leaves him, but I haven't. Nothing.