Did I seem too desperate?

I went on an amazing first date with this girl, but at the end I kissed her on the cheek (I know, but shyness...). After a good second date, she told me that the next day she'd have to study for a test, so I didn't bother her that day, though I asked her out again the following day... she was busy. The following day... busy. The following day (yeah... I know...) she told me she'd be busy until MAYBE this Wednesday. I haven't talked to her since, figuring I'd best leave her to her stuff.

However, should I call her just to see what's up? Would that come across as even more desperate, if possible? I know she has her life but during our dates she never mentioned that she'd be so swamped with studying for a whole week... and I don't have my hopes up of seeing her on Wednesday...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, what do YOU want in a relationship? If you find that a girl being busy three days in a row makes you feel insecure, then maybe you need to find a girl that is always asking YOU what's up. If you're already feeling THIS insecure, then maybe you're getting signs subconsciously that she wasn't that into you? When you kissed her on the cheek how did she react? I'm sure if a guy kissed ME on the cheek on a first date I'd either want to see him as soon as possible IF I LIKED HIM, or I would avoid it. Which is what she might be doing.

    But in the "normal" dating scene, you DO want to start off slower, and not ask to see someone every single day. If you do that, you will (or already have) come off as desperate. You shouldn't freak out every single day, when it's been under a week since the first date. Yes, that is clingy. That will come off as desperate. and hey, guess what, if you don't see her and she keeps avoiding it, then move past it, she's not worth your time. You seem to need someone who is a lot more... like YOU. Don't call her. Wait till she says she's free. If within two weeks she's not free, forget about it.

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    • how slow do people go? I just got back in the dating field and trying to figure out how to do it? is once per week good?

    • I don't think there's a set amount of time/speed. It depends on each person. Let's say you go on a first date (and you have a girl's number), then you tell her after the date that you enjoyed yourself and/or you can send a simple text saying so. and when I say simple, I MEAN SIMPLE. with a smiley face (lol). If you don't want to text her that night, then maybe three days, or YES within a week you should be asking to see her again. But not every single day re-asking again and again.

What Girls Said 1

  • Well since you've been asking her out so much and she keeps saying,

    "She is busy".

    Why don't you just text and say,

    "I hope your studies are going good. And let me know when you have free time. I'd really like to see you."

    And leave it at that.

    If she never replies or doesn't take you up on your offer then perhaps you

    feel very differently about the date than she did.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Leave her alone and find another girl to date and relax a bit more

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