Is he "emotionally cheating"?

My boyfriend started a new job about a month ago, and since then he's been constantly texting this girl he met there - pretty much all day and night, every day. I don't know if it's anything really questionable, but he lies to me about it saying they barely talk, hides his phone so I don't see who it is when he gets a message, doesn't text back until I leave the room etc. I know it's terrible, but I peeked at his phone a couple times, and they call each other things like "cutie" and "sweetie" and talk about wishing they could spend more time together at work, which I know isn't all that bad, but they literally talk 'til like 4 in the morning most days and it even looks like he deletes a lot of the messages between them, and that's a pretty bad sign right? We've been together nearly two years, and I don't think he'd ever physically cheat, but this sort of happened before with a mutual friend and it got to the point where he was saying how much he loved her and how she was all he thought about. Like I said, I do't think he'd ever be physically intimate with someone else, but feels like he's chasing other girls looking for attention and affection from them. I don't know what to do, I do everything I can to make him happy, but it's obviously not enough. He tells me he's happy with me and doesn't want to be with anyone else, but if that was true why would he be chasing attention from other girls? I've tried talking to him about it but he just lies about it and denies everything. I really don't know what to do, so any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Women are more likely to emotional cheat than men are.

    Usually when men spend so much time texting another woman , it's because eventually they are planning for it to lead up to physical action.

    Never say, you think he won't do _______.

    I'm sure you entered the relationship thinking he wouldn't flirt with other women period...and there he is doing just that.

    So never think that someone is incapable of going to the extent of something.

    If he's not willing to come clean...then your relationship is pretty much based off of lies.

    Can you continue on like that?

    You have to end the relationship (especially if he's not willing to be honest), the lies

    will continue to get worse.

    And you never know eventually the physical part may happen if you continue to sweep it

    under the rug.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, I would say he's being dishonest. Guys generally don't text girls they are platonic friends with.

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What Girls Said 3

  • If he is hiding it from you then yes he is emotionally cheating. I have a male coworker that he and I text a fair bit not daily but often and I never hide it from my boyfriend. Sometimes if my coworker says something funny I will repeat it to my boyfriend. The calling each other cute names is not a good sign either. I would just dump him. It sounds like he wants more.

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    • That's what I mean, I've had male friends who I'd text, but not all the time and not in secret. I know it's not a healthy relationship, but I don't want to leave him. He means the world to me, I just want him to stop this stupid thing he's doing.

    • He is not going to. There will be another guy that means the world to you and you will mean the world to him.

  • Why are you with him? He obviously doesn't find you interesting enough if he is looking for attention from someone else. It is time to move on.

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  • If there was nothing to hide, he wouldn't be lieing to you about it. The pet name thing is not cool either, those names are reserved for a special someone in your life, not for platonic friends of the opposite sex. Ask him to tell you the truth, and if he doesn't come clean, tell him you followed your intuition and found what you found on his phone. This is his behavior, if not this girl, it'll be a different one. I couldn't date that . . .

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