How do you keep love and lust separate in dating & relationships?

When people go out on dates, most people believe if you have sex on the first date the relationship isn't going to workout yet some believe the exact opposite. They believe it represents great chemistry.

Also, if you're in a relationship and you and your lover is spending a lot of time in the bedroom almost every day, Does the line between love and lust start to blur away to the point you can't tell the difference?

Explain your personal way from separating these desires.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Infatuation and lust will always cut to the front of line. Love waits patiently. This isn't just a way to test someone's character. It's also a way for you to measure your own actual level of value for another.

    When I first meet a potential romantic prospect, the initial time is going to be hard to measure in terms of real love. She's new. She's hot. What she offers is hot. Your desires and hormones will go insane. But don't give them everything they want. They (and you) have not yet earned it. Restrain yourself. Yes, in private, they will scream at you for not tapping that. Too bad. Sucks to be them.

    After some time has gone by and you've gotten to know her better, figure out what she really means to you. Also, figure out what her biggest pile of BS is. Because you'll want to know that if you consider that marrying her could even remotely be a possibility. It won't leave just because you attach yourself to her. She has to be the one to decide to get rid of it. And she'll have to deal with your pile as well, whatever it originates from, waiting for you to scrap whatever about you she doesn't like.

    If after a month or so, you two don't totally hate each other, then there might be room for real love. But never leave yourself without an exit, just in case. If she tells you she's considering someone else, after having led you on, decide real fast what kind of friend you want to be to her. Because if you choose wrong, she just might run you over.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I don't really think that you do need to separate these things if you're in the right relationship.

    I think the right relationship has elements of both. You can spend all the time in the world in the bedroom but still have an emotional connection with them.

    If you have to work on building either then I think it may be time to find someone else.

    As long as you feel an "us" rather than just two people coming together for whatever reason, sexual or non sexual I don't think it matters what exactly you're doing.

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  • Unfortunately great chemistry is not enough to build a relationship. That's why the relationship doesn't work out.

    If you are spending so much time with your lover, then there is no relationship with the first person. You can start building relationship feelings with the lover, because there is no connection with the relationship person.

    Love and lust can not blur. Love is: respect, sex is not necessary. Lust is: sex, respect is not necessary.

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  • Love is when you want to w around a person, and spend time with them, while resolving any conflicts that may occur TOGETHER. Lust in the bedroom everyday is just simply lust. That's not love. The couple may think it's "love" but it's not and they only realize it after the break up (no matter how long the relationship was). If all you have is sexual and physical contact most of the time it just doesn't go far.

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  • You don't

    You should lust for the person you love

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think if oyu spend most of your time in the bedroom it begs the question is there real genuine love in the relationship or just sexual desire.

    the difference between love and lust in my opinion is the ability to be with someone for a night and not need or have sex but still feel like it was a worthwhile time spent with them. whereas lust to me would mean that the night would be rather unfulling if you didn't get to hook up with them

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  • the concepts of lust is retarded... people made it to avoid saying they love someone too soon. And that's because people don't understand there's a difference between being in love and loving someone. You can have sex with someoen on the first date and be in love with them if the chemistry is that great. You can be in love with someone after a month or two of dating if the chemistry is poorer. Either way you will not love that person untill you've been through every up and down with them. You're in love with your brain but you love with your heart and hence if your SO makes mistakes you will forgive them if you love them because your heart knows that they're better than that. Ill get off the soap box now.

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  • They don't necessarily need to be separate in the first place

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    • Why is that?

    • You should make love and have romantic time with your girl in moderation.

    • Yeah but what is considered moderation depends on the individual , what I'm trying to ask is how do YOU do keep your moderation? Tips, advice , etc.

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