How should I best follow up with this girl I like a lot?

I really don't want to blow this opportunity that I may have with this girl I like a lot. This Thanksgiving I met my mothers friends daughter that came to dinner at my moms house since being from a divorced family, my moms holidays are usually just my brother and I. I did not think having someone unrelated join us would be fun, but it actually turned out a lot better than I expected. Though only 23 (I am 27), she had a LOT in common with me ( divorced family, Same medical issues in past with being celiac, burned by local friends and feeling somewhat alone). This girl was not only bright but gorgeous,so I did not expect her to be single. Since things went so well I followed up with her on Facebook and exchanged #'s then set a date up for Saturday. I took her out to eat, then a local bar on the water which was quiet to talk. Then I took her for a drive along a beach she's never been too. Everything was still going perfect chemistry wise and though I did not plan for it we kissed and talked more before I drove her home. She told me she never has had a real boyfriend and had a somewhat bad period in college days which is why she slowed down to focus only on nursing. She then admitted to me for my knowledge that she was given genital herpes from a guy during college. I know that must have been very hard to come out and admit to someone she just met but I appreciated her letting me know this. It still didn't change anything towards how I felt, if anything it put more trust I felt towards her for being so honest. So she came over the following day after work for 3 hours since I had to go back to Boston on Monday. We came very close to having sex but I wanted to keep safe. After she left to go home this is when things get confusing. I texted her to tell her how I appreciated her being with me over the weekend and that I wanted to reassure her I genially do like her since she mentioned being used before in the past. She thanked me very much for saying that. I thought following up 2 days later would be fine, I text no response from her back. 2 more days I wait and I call at night with no answer or text back. 2 more days pass and she asks how I am doing through text. I asked if calling and she said sure 10pm if not too late since she was with her mom. I call at 10:15 No answer and no text the following morning from her, So I followed up the following night saying she must have been tired jokingly. She told me "ooops! I fell asleep with my mom watching tv" . 3 days later I call her at night and she didn't answer or text me back. What do I do and what does this all even mean? I know she works and goes to school but if I did everything perfect and we connected so great why does she not even respond back to a missed call or text? Is this a total loss and should I just not call or text her again? This is why I hate getting close with people... Please help if anyone can. I want to text/call but I don't want her to think I am annoying.

anyone? :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • There's a few potential explanations for her neither picking up, or bothering to call or text you back.

    1) She's not interested. Don't take it personally, but perhaps she genuinely wasn't quite into it. She could be either not into it at all or enough, and maybe she wants to devote most of her time to nursing and so isn't quite ready to jump into a relationship.

    2) She is feeling sort of insecure or even embarrassed about the personal things that she shared with you. Give her some time to cool off and realize it's not the end of the world that you know.

    Maybe give it a week or two and send her a casual "Hey, what's up" text in a week or 2, when you know she'll be off class and done exams.

    • Thanks Kayla. It really is weird too, because she went along with it all and even said she has never connected with someone so much for so long. Then only texts me later to check if I contracted what she has and doesn't answer a call that she told me to make? It all is just so confusing.


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Girls Said 1

  • I know when a guy who kind or creeps me out or moves too fast, I pull the coward card and just don't text them back because I don't like confrontation. It sounds like y'all moved kind of fast - maybe that made her nervous, since you said she'd had a bad time in the past. You sounded really sincere in your texts and calls though, so I'm not sure why she's acting sketchy. Maybe you could ask her if something's wrong, or she'd rather not talk anymore. I've found it's better to just go ahead and ask people rather than try and figure it out - that'll drive you crazy.


What Guys Said 2

  • Just give it some time. She seems interested in what you have to offer her (your trust worthy companionship). So just relax, she seems like she might not know how to deal with a person she genuinely likes. Your both playing the love game lol.

  • Yeah I understand your pain. You should understand mine cause I just read the biggest essay in one paragraph. Anyway, just based on my opinion I see two things. 1. She's no longer interested in you and blowing you off. 2. She got really insecure about what she told you or she is too scared to date you now. My advice is call her and be straight forward (when you do get through to her). Ask her where she sees things standing between the two of you. Keep calling untill you get through if she does give you shit about being persistent just tell her you were confused about where things stood. I guess a third alternative is that she's really busy and doesn't give enough of a shit to text you and let you know or has really bad communication skills.