Having a really hard time getting over my ex, help please.

How can you get over someone whom you loved and really cared about no matter how much they hurt you and make you feel good at the same time?

I have been going out with friends, sometimes so busy that I do completely forget about him. But at night when my thoughts take over, I just can't handle it. All the memories good times and bad ones kreep up. And to make it worse EVER Since I saw that he is dating some good looking girl and that's all he talks about makes it even worse. Makes me think I was never good enough for him. I don't know what to do I have tried everything but the memories just won't go away. The thoughts of me not being good enough. and that I will never find someone that would care about me as much as he did or more is a killer because he really did care about me before.

Guys, is it really that easy to get over someone you went out with for 2 years and 2 weeks after you are already dating another girl and saying fuck you to your ex in the end. How does that work?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I really feel for you as I went through this and am only just now getting back to normal after 6 months. I would like to save you some time. I broke up with my boyfriend after a year of intensity. He really cared for me, but on another side he was controlling. After a year I asked about our future and asked if we were going to move in with each other. He said it was too soon to move in together or marry. I was quite hurt because we had been through so much and I thought I proved my love for him. We carried on for a while until those words kept niggling at me and I could no longer be with someone that didn't really love me. We broke up and he said he was devastated. 4 weeks later he got a new girlfriend and refused to speak to me. After a month they took a holiday to Paris and 4 months after that he moved in with her. I thought it was just a rebound but it really isn't.

    Having to watch their relationship go on so fast from strength to strength was slowly killing me. I got so depressed, I thought about suicide along with other bad things that were happening in my life. I often wondered if he ever thought about how I felt. But obviously not.

    I am going to give you some advice that I had to learn the hard way. I am begging you do not torture yourself, you and your ex were not meant to be & that is it. It is not your fault. So he is with a new girl and you think she is prettier. Trust me looks have really nothing to do with it. You are a precious person. If you were horrible person, you would not be feeling anything over this break up, but because you have worn your heart on your sleeve and are willing to put your love out there you have been hurt.

    Break ups happen because of incompatibility, bad timing, things that happen at the time. There is a chance he is on a rebound, but I don't want you to have a surprise like I did.

    My advice : Do not think about him and make a list of all the things you can now accomplish, now you're single. There must be loads of things. When those thoughts creep in at night, have a little cry if you have to and then imagine a place you would like to visit. Keep going out with friends. Keep moving forward. He is no longer worth your time. There is a special guy out there waiting for you.

    • Thank you so much. I will take your advice. I really do want to move on. And I am so happy to hear that you are getting back to your feet it gives me hope because I have also been through depression stages and sometimes thoughts of suicide and it really isn't healthy. I have been missing out on a lot of things and I won't let this ruin my happiness. Its easy to be said but it is possible. Once again thank you :)

    • Excellent, do not dwell or waste time like I did, you are free now to find Mr. Right. :) Thank you for the best answer selection and Good Luck!


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What Guys Said 3

  • I have been in a similar situation myself. I think knowing they can move on so quickly hurts even more than not having them in my life. I don't think there is anything you can do to 100% forget about them. I keep myself busy throughout the day to keep my mind off of it but when you go to sleep at night your mind wanders and it becomes dangerous.

    What should make it a little easier though is to erase them from your lives. If you don't know what he is doing it is likely better.

  • It's not easy. I've done it before, but if it's just truly a rebound then he is really dying inside. I know I was after my rebound.

  • He is doing that on purpose to get over you himself. Everyone copes differently. He probably has low self esteem and needs to have someone at his side all the time. I cope like you, it takes me a few weeks to get over the ex. But, every day it gets easier. The best thing that helps with me is to remind myself how much better I am than the ex and how I can do so much better.


What Girls Said 2

  • Have you deleted him from FB any other social media network? Have you deleted his number and broken off all contact? This is crucial to getting over someone. If you haven't done this then it's time you do as you won't ever get over him if you still have his number or talk to him. Also time will heal the wounds and till then you have to force yourself to go through the motions of life and to not keep yourself from new opportunities.

  • You've gotten lots of great advice and I agree with all of it 100%. I also want to add, one more things. It's so important not to compare yourself to anyone else. This causes a lot of dissatisfaction in our lives, regardless of whether or not we are going through a breakup. When you compare yourself to others, you miss out on your own special talents and how you are so unique and able to bring joy to the world in your own wonderful way.

    This can be difficult, but as Rabbit heart mentions, step one is removing any social media connections and virtual connections you have with him completely from your life. Then start focusing on you and define success and joy for yourself. and finally, when you are ready, start imagining the lucky guy (who is probably better suited for you) out there who is wishing he had someone like you in his life and how sad it would be for so many people to live in a world without you :)

    I wish your heart a speedy recovery, because you are deserving of joy and happiness.