How can a single father go about getting a girl to date him?

I've been divorced for over thirteen years(I married young) after being married for three years. After the divorce, I got full custody of our three kids. I spent all these years concentrating on raising my kids and working, that I never had time for a girlfriend. I did have one girlfriend, but she turned out to be mentally unstable and was abusive in every way possible. Now I have quit my job that I held for seventeen years and am going to school full time to do what I want to do in a career. My kids are all teenagers and are in highschool and are capable of taking care of themselves prettymuch. After all these years of taking care of my kids and working, I would like to find a girlfriend. I've tried different approaches to this, but have had no luck.I'm tall and reasonably attractive and have finished my first full year of college toward a four year degree. Its hard to get back in to the dating scene after being out of it for so long. I'm looking for any tips or suggestions that anyone may have to point me in the right direction.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You won't have to "get" the right girl to date you even though you have kids. When I started dating again after my divorce, I preferred dating single dads because they were more understanding of MY situation and time constraints as a single mom. And for me, the more often they had their kids, the more I was interested in them. I mean, having 2 people with full custody of their kids try to find time to date is extremely difficult, but it was what that told me about his character that I was interested in.

    What kind of girls are you going after? Early 20-somethings on the college campus? Single moms will be more understanding and accepting of your kids. Also - do you want more kids? It's a lot harder to find a woman who is okay with the idea of not having kids in the future if she doesn't already have any.

    I feel like I'm make a hard sale on single moms. But it's just been my personal experience and what I've seen from my friends and people around me that single parents dating each other works out best.

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    • I talked to a twenty something girl at school, but she said she didn't want anything serious. This seems to be a reoccurring theme for the college age girls.

      I wouldn't mind having more kids as long she would stay around and be a good mom. I'll keep my eyes open for any single moms and give that a shot. Thanks.

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    • Thanks for BA!

    • Thanks for the answer!

What Girls Said 4

  • i would stay away from dating sites. since they are usually crawling with people who you would want to avoid. not everyone on those things are bad..but chances are quite high you will meet the wrong person. perhaps join clubs or groups at your college. and try and make friends with some people closer to your age. as cliche as it sounds. often the best relationships are ones where they are set up from a friend or acquaintance. I find also volunteer work there are a lot of good genuine people who do that. not many narcissistic, abusive selfish people would do that. if you can fit that in for a few hours once a fortnight. that may be an excellent way to meet some new friends/ more.

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    • Thanks for your advice. Online dating is not a good way of meeting genuine people. Once the spring semester starts up, I am going to check and see what kind of clubs and programs are available. Thanks again.

  • i feel the same way. I'm returning to school to do my bachelors and I am 28 years old. When I first started school, University was a gold mine for getting guys but now I'm older than mostly everyone in my class.

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    • Yes, it's different going back after a few years away. I feel young and get along pretty well with the college age crowd, it just seems that the girls aren't really looking for anything long-term. That's awesome your back in school. Keep focused on your goals and make the most of yourself. Hopefully we'll both find someone special soon. :-) Thanks for the response.

  • What all have you tried? General tips are to be active by joining interest groups, like religious groups if you are religious, hobby groups, volunteer somewhere, or even an activity group for people in their 30s, etc. While you're out and about, running errands or grocery shopping or going to the gym, be friendly and conversational. You might also try online dating through some of those sites.

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    • I have tried several different means of meeting a woman. Most women at my school are younger which doesn't bother me, but not many seem to be family oriented. Internet dating hasn't worked so well either. It just seems most women my age are married, or single for a reason. I do try to be outgoing and conversational when I'm out and have engaged in conversation with a few women, but for various reasons it never went anywhere. Hopefully its just a matter of time. Thanks for your suggestions.

  • try online dating, or frequent where single mothers are, join fitness clubs or any type of club or older adults.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You seem like a great guy, just be yourself, depending on the woman, she might like you. Most younger girls like older guys.

    Can you answer this question for me? link

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