Share your asshole story!

I"m sure there are a hell of a lot girls on this site like me who have had the terrible experience of dating an asshole or two in her life.

Some of us just seem to have that tendency and we end up getting hurt by these guys who mistreat us and make us feel extremely bad.

I am personally trying to deal with this problem of mine right now. So I will listen :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, we were never a couple. But there was definitely something between us, at least I thought so at the time.

    The guy met me a few months after he had broken up with his ex. We got close really fast but he told me quickly that he wasn't ready yet. I said I was fine with it and that I wasn't sure if I had feelings for him anyway. We continued being friends. After about half a year of being his friend, he asked me if there was something between us. He was being very sweet and loving with me, kept me warm when I was cold, lent me his stuff, bought me a few things, hugged me a lot. I said that I thought I had feelings for him. But suddenly he backed off. Went stone cold. Stopped talking to me and hanging out, he kept making all these excuses. After a couple of months of this treatment, I finally got a hold of him and we met up. Asked him what his problem is. He said the age gap between us is too big (6 years) and that he's not over his ex yet, blah blah blah. I said OK, fine, whatever. Then 2 months later I hear from our mutual friend that he's getting hot and heavy with this other girl, who's only a few months older than me. So fuck the excuses he made up really! I'm guessing I was some kind of shitty rebound for him to figure out whether he still "had it" or not. Jerk.

    • If I were you I"d do my best to delete him from my life and never speak to him again. I hope you're better now :)

    • Thank you! I've already deleted his phone number and I've unfriended him on Facebook months ago. Shockingly enough (but not really) he hasn't noticed or even cared to react haha. But it was expected, and I'm actually relieved that he hasn't bothered to react.


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What Guys Said 7

  • Okay, so once there was this girl, she told me a whole lot of things like "I don't drink" and "I'm responsible" so I go to meet her and she's drunk as shit and hasn't paid a number of bills in forever; the reason I know that is because she was too lazy to put away her collector's bill notes and just left them out on the table.

    Then there was this girl who was insanely emotional and pretty jealous. Basically I dropped all of my friends for her, worse mistake ever but I was young, and she kept finding reasons to be unhappy. Turns out she'd leave and I would never ever have to deal with that again. Came back and says "Let's be friends" and I'm currently cordial but know better and expect nothing from her because ... she was useless before to me and will probably maintain that.

    ... Can I go on? Or ... Is this girls only?

    • it's not girls only, I guess guys have their equivalent story it's more about people who tend to fall for people who mistreat them, for people who settle for less than they deserve. Just for people who have been wronged without deserving it :)

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    • Well let it out, I"m guessing it feels better to write it down somewhere.

    • No, not really. :/

  • Once I saw her making out with another guy and as soon as she saw me she told that guy to f*** off and after I caught them both,she denied and told me he was just a friend.

    My friends told me they had seen her many times with this guy on different occasions together.

    One month later after I dumped her , she was caught stealing her roommate's I-phone.Such a disgrace tbh..!

  • I have one.

    I dated a girl for 5 years, the first year and a half she lied right to my face about getting her drivers license and saving for a car. I let her drive my car "so she could learn" when she didn't even have a learners permit because she hadn't bothered to get one. I should have checked, but I trusted her and if we had gotten pulled over...

    Of course, I found that out after we split up, but it took her four years to get her shit together enough to be getting an apartment with her. That should have been a major red flag, but I was young and stupid and I had the blinders on.

    I was saving up for a ring, but after about a year of living together where I had to hold her hand through every little thing because she was completely incapable of doing anything herself, from checking the air on her tires (every other damn day because she'd freak out otherwise) to being incapable of paying bills on time, she lost her job. Instead of bothering to look for a new one she decided that I was supposed to support her. I watched the saving for the ring circle the drain, then my own personal savings. When I told her couldn't maintain the way we were living, she told me I was "immature" and that I "couldn't be trusted to take care of her like a man should".

    My response was to go down to the leasing office and buy my way out of the lease with the last bit of money I had. I moved my stuff out (which was pretty much everything in there) and left her there with no job. I haven't talked to her since. I don't feel like being lied to or manipulated again.

    • Hopefully nothing like that will ever happen again to you and now that you're older and more mature you know better :) I however am just 21 with only one relationship behind me (of two and a half yers) and I noticed my tendency and figured I should really do something about it now while I"m just beginning everything and hopefully avoid such things in the future. Best of luck to ya :)

    • Yeah, mine was from 22-27. I certainly learned from it, but life has turned out much better since then. It led me to reconnect with friends, which lead me to reconnecting with my now girlfriend. We've been together for 2 years, things are going well, we just moved in together and it's nice living with an adult who knows that relationships are a partnership. When we are ready to get married, she brought up a prenup, so I know she's cool with that too.

    • I"m happy to hear that.

  • I've never dated an asshole, and I like to think I'm not one myself. I'm just curious, how do people end up in long term relationships with these people? I mean there must be signs, like when you're dating for a few months. The way they treat other people, their friends, family, coworkers, strangers etc.

    Not trying to be judgmental, just curious.

  • The story I know is the one where a lot of girls are attracted to assholes. link

    I feel bad for those girls because they get hurt and mistreated by the assholes they are attracted to, but it also bothers me how those girls end up saying guys are assholes as a result.

    Guys are not assholes...assholes are assholes.

    • Did I say anywhere in my question that guys are assholes? I used the term for a certain type of men many women tend to fall for. Read the questions you answer.

    • I read every word of your question, including the part about "a hell of a lot girls" having dated assholes. Don't insult our intelligence by saying you didn't mean what you implied.

    • ''our intelligence'' ? who's ''our''? I meant you in particular. I see you are trying to provoke me into an argument looking for anything I might have said that you could say I ''implied'' stuff with. There was no generalization about guys being assholes anywhere in my question yet you mentioned it in your answer. It is a fact that lots of girls date assholes. I see you fancy yourself as a defender of males but this question didn't need your help, so go find ''offensive implications'' elsewhere.

  • Hmm, my sister says all guys are jerks, so she'd count.

    She's 18, met a wonderful 26 year old guy working at publix, very proud of his high school diploma. My parents snooped on her messages, saw her confine to a friend that the fellow smoked, had a record for drugs, and she felt he was violent on occasion. So, they forbid them from dating.

    She ran off, literally, and moved into a little room with him, where they lived most happily. My sister told my mom that he was a good man, and she would have to meet him sooner or later.

    Then a week after that, sister contacted home again, suddenly tired of getting smacked around, forcibly imprisoned in their room for periods of time, and him forcing himself on her when she would refuse to have sex. Apparently it had been going on for a month or more--it had been going for multiple weeks when she told my mom how the fellow "was a good man."

    Stories and experiences like that are why guys really don't give a shit anymore when girls gripe about how they dealt with assholes.

    Women chose to date assholes, for various reasons. "All get what they want, they do not always like it."--C.S. Lewis

    • did you even read the description of my question? Because I don't think you understood what I wanted to say and the purpose of this question. and if you're just here to judge then please stay off my question, judgement is not welcome here.

    • Actually, by nature, your question welcomes judgement. Because it's "share your *asshole* story." Therefore, the whole question is about passing judgement on people you dated.

    • No, you think the question is about judgement. The question is for people who have been treated badly and wish to share their stories. It's about helping oneself.

  • Don't the vast majority of you deserve it though. If we're going to be honest about it...

    That's assuming the guy is actually an asshole and not the girl being overly sensitive.

    • I don't think anyone deserves to be treated badly no matter how sensitive they are.

    • Girls kind of put themselves in those positions. It would be pretty obvious to most of you if you had a penis.

What Girls Said 7

  • I dated a guy last year... I knew he was a jerk upfront, but I agreed to go out with him because I thought he might surprise me. And if not, I figured I'd learn something.

    Well, I was very naive and he was manipulative. After about a month, he went to jail for 2 weeks for assaulting his ex girlfriend. And like an idiot, I stayed with him. Then he dumped me after another month because I wouldn't sleep with him.

    I blame myself. But I was right; I did learn something. I learned that I'm done with casual dating and I want to find my life partner.

    • I understand and support you. I've also been naive and thought a guy might surprise me. I now realize how incredibly foolish I was. I wish you the best of luck finding your lifepartner :)

  • My first boyfriend was a guy who wanted be for a fuck-buddy. I didn't understand that that ain't the way things are supposed to go, that we knew each other for a week and he asked me over. He got me dressing out step by step every night a little more. Later I found out he had more friends with benefits. I was actually lucky that I didn't lose my virginity to him but it still somewhat left a scar that's kind of eating me sometimes, that a guy could be so insensitive. He was rough. Now that I've been in relationships, I've seen that there is more to a relationship than just sex drive. I think he shouldn't have pushed me to have sex with him when he himself had no feelings. I mean, if I would have done it, I would have gotten a thousand times more emotionally attached than I even was. I lived through so many heartbreaks when he didn't wanna hang out with me or so many tears when I found out he had been flirting with other girls. All for nothing, I can see it clearly now. It was not nice of him to do this to an extremely unexperienced girl, I think he must have had at least some brains.

    • I hear ya. My lack of experience played a really bad number on me too. That's why I"m trying to learn now and get my self together. I"m glad you got over it are now better, hopefully I"ll get to that stage soon :)

  • I didn't date, but had a huge crush on one asshole for the longest time.

    He was an asshole in the sense that he knew I had feeling for him and he toyed with my emotions. Piece of shit.

    Lead me on, feigned interest just enough for me to believe he liked me and did it purely to have dominance.

    Good thing I eventually realized it and told him to go fuck himself. Best feeling ever.

  • I dated a guy for 1.5 years, he was my first love. Long story short he was banging the billing girl at our work and lying profusely. He confessed this to me at my grandpa's funeral and told me he didn't love me. He then left to go hang out with her.

  • I met my last Boyfriend online. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, until one day I found out everything was a lie. He had a secret daughter, he had a criminal records, was in the mafia, did cocaine, was mentally/physically abusive, had been arrested 4 times prior for domestic violence (I called the cops on him because he hit me), and I found out he had hung out with girls he hooked up with in the past. It took me a bit to finally realize that he was just a piece of shit excuse for a man and that he would never change, but I'm glad it came sooner than later.

  • My "first love" of two years ended up cheating on me with my best friend. I walked in on them...literally. It sucked and put me in a deep depression I couldn't get out of for quite some time.

  • I just poured my heart to my ex and he doesn't ever want to be with me again,no matter how hard and how much I try to improve myself it seems like nothing matters what I do.

    • I feel your pain. But you really shouldn't be changing yourself for him, he should like you the way you are. If he doesn't like you and want you the way you are he simply doesn't deserve you. You should really get that into your mind. I have had similar struggles.

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    • Yeah that's fine but if someone says they will always love you and you try everything to fix it,they must not have not meant it in the first place.And he had his faults to so don't assume but I was willing to over look it.

    • Everyboy's allowed to have their feelings and this question is for people who feel they were wronged undeservingly.