Why am I feeling so anxious about going on a date?

3 months ago my ex and I broke up, it hurt me so much. It was nearly a 2 year relationship. Now, I feel like I have already pretty much got over him, I do think about him but I don't think I have feelings, I was doubtful of the relationship, but I loved him so much. I think maybe I have accepted it more now.. Anyway I had already gone on a date with a guy and I was nervous..but I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere & we both didn't want relationships anyway.

I ended up meeting this other guy & even after meeting up with him for the first time(we met online lol) I thought why not, it's just one date. I felt anxious after it, I'm not sure why, I couldn't understand. We talk so much and we hadn't ended up meeting up again for a little while, I thought maybe he didn't even want to see me again. And even though he is also not wanting to rush into anything, why is it so different? because he then asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner this weekend after we organized a time, that anxious feeling came on again. It's still here and I don't understand why, I told him about it because I already feel like I can, he said, maybe you like me?And I avoided the question and continued on saying maybe I'm a commitment phobe now.

Why do I feel like this, is it because I'm just not ready?Have I not given myself long enough to heal?I don't want a relationship but it's hard because I get along with this guy so much and after all it' just dinner. I don't understand why I feel like this :(


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What Guys Said 2



  • You feel like this because any healing process you may have gone through probably lacks enough resolution steps. i.e., what can I do to prevent this from happening again? What can I do when I see something happens (like a flag) in the relationship that will garauntee me from getting hurt? What standards can I employ to protect myself that I wasn't using in the last relationship?

    Generally, I think anxiety is linked to this. The very emotion of anxiety itself is fear mingled with a lack of certainty or control.

    This may mean more time to heal. In fact, many may interpret this as "get moar healing yo!" But seriously, take a step back and analyze the failings of the previous relationship and apply personal boundaries, policies, and communication procedures (or ultimatums) you intend to use to make it different next time around -- and you'll find yourself not feeling so anxious.

    That should fix the feeling.

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  • Maybe you forgot since it's been so long since you dated - but most people feel anxious before a date. Because it's unknown. You don't know what will happen. It's a little bit nervous, and a little bit exciting, and a little bit apprehensive.

    It should be. If you weren't feeling these things I'd say you're bored of the guy already and shouldn't be dating him.

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    • But I wouldn't usually feel anxious about it days before and the first date I had with him I felt the anxiety after I saw him.. And now again

    • Because you don't know what's going to happen...

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