Why does he constantly text when he has a girlfriend.

Back in the summer I met this guy online. He's very confident and good looking and he knows it. We chatted for a few weeks, lots of joking and flirting and I was starting to like him then he said he had recently started dating someone. We met just as friends soon after and have been texting ever since. He's very chatty in his texts. In person he was different, he comes across quite aloof, very little eye contact and a little awkward which was strange I thought but he was also quite funny and easy to talk to. I was quite surprised that he stayed in (text) contact though. We text almost daily usually although sometimes he'll disappear for a week or two but then he comes back and apologizes for disappearing and it resumes again. Sometimes the texts are just chatty other times they're very sexual. He says he doesn't cheat but even though nothing physical has happened and he's not even suggested meeting up again the things he says are pretty inappropriate for a guy who has a girlfriend. I wonder why he does it. Does he just enjoy the attention or is he hoping that I'll be willing to sleep with him should his relationship end, is that why he's always texting? We have a similar sense of humor and chat easily but I'm not sure what's going on. I've never told him I like him or even said he's attractive or anything but he can probably tell anyways.

He's very active online and is always posting photos and leaving very flirty comments on female friend's pics on Facebook. His girlfriend will see that stuff and I wonder what she thinks of it because that kind of thing would drive me crazy. I'm not on his FB but I can see his public photos, including some of him with the girlfriend. He has a lot of female friends (mostly online) but most of them aren't local like I am and live in other states or even overseas so he's unlikely to try to hook up with them but he gets a lot of attention. I'd compare it to being like a rockstar but without the fame and money and I wonder if I'm just the latest member of his fanclub.

I'd be interested to hear from people who know guys like this or even guys who are like this themselves. I'm interested in the psychology behind it. I know that if I had a boyfriend I wouldn't be saying the things he says to me, to anyone else.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with yopyo ..comment, the reason is I think is maybe he's using you for attention.

    Maybe he enjoys the attention you show him, but that's it.

    I hope your not expecting him to leave his girlfriend.

    U might be another member of his fan club, just leave him alone. He doesn't seem all that into you really, and you can bet your bottom dollar that he does that with all his girls probably.

    He doesn't want anything with you let him be, to figure things out with his girl.

    Ur gonna get your feelings hurt.don't do this to yourself move on...

    If he wanted you it wouldn't be no drama, if he remotely wanted more he would of said that, then saying he Doesn't cheat. Therefore he's not interested like your hoping.

    Find someone else.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This guy is obviously interested in cheating, but not ready to do it yet.

    He's probably not much into his girlfriend, and waiting to grow enough balls (sadly) to have some fun with other women (I insist on the plural form).

    You should just stop talking to him. If he can do that to his girlfriend, he will do it to any woman.

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    • A million times this!

      PLUS he will probably just sleep with you and then not even leave his girlfriend for you and go on to pretend you don't even exist. Seen this sort of thing happen hundreds of times...

  • Guys always have a need to be wanted by other women... Ego thing I guess

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What Girls Said 3

  • Sounds like a guy I know. He flirts with every girl he finds attractive, making lots of compliments, and when he's in a relationship he still goes up to girls to talk to them (probably toning down with the compliments). When I asked him he explained that "he enjoys getting to know new people". He is also the same way on Facebook, liking and commenting "sexy pic" "you are beautiful" etc.

    I didn't care much, as I didn't want him to become my next boyfriend anway. But I also wondered how his girlfriend felt about it.

    One relationship started secretly, so she didn't have much say in it, but when they went official, she was pretty pissed when she saw his comments that he tried to hide (you could still see it in newsfeed).

    Don't know bout his next relationship cause I stopped checking my FB. The girl said she was cool with it though I doubt it.

    I think he's either a potential cheater (the second one was a LDR) or getting to know more girls in case the relationship goes south.

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  • huge redflag: player. all over.

    I totally agree with what yopyopyop said.

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  • he's a cheater

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