One of my closest friends has been dating a complete loser for the past four months. He barely goes to class, never does homework, and suddenly decided not to go to law school next year and instead work at the mall. She had known him for two and a half years as friends and rejected all of his perverted passes until one day she gave in.
She's told me that she doesn't feel pretty and she prefers having a boyfriend over being single. She had been single the whole summer and right when we got back to university she decided to start dating him. It really came out of nowhere, especially because he has the creepiest relationship with his ex that he had told her allllll the details about.
She blows off school to be with him but all they actually do together is watch TV. This is not an exaggeration... he's taken her on one (forced) date in four months and bought her wilted flowers for their one month anniversary.
I've heard from everyone of our mutual friends that she deserves much better and no one can understand what she's doing. One of our friends thinks she's scared about not getting married.. but she's 20 years old! She's got a few years to find a guy that's ambitious and respects her.
My question is how do I get her to see that she deserves better? It's kind of depressing when she's dating this guy yet she has good taste in who she has crushes on.. she just doesn't go for them. She doesn't go for any guy honestly... I've always seen her date the guy who pushed himself on her and when I asked her for dating advice she said to date a guy who likes you and hopefully you'll start to like him later on... It's sad she feels like she can't date a guy she likes first and instead picks up this loser who's been coming onto her for two years yet she never liked until magically one night she did. Advice? Should I say something to her?
Most Helpful Girl
Wow. The sex must be really good. This is a great opportunity for you to work on your friendship skills. I understand that it can be frustrating to watch someone you care about go down a path you think is wrong for them. Sometimes it's so much easier to see the real picture when looking in from the outside. You have far more vivid and all around perspective than does she.
The things is, this isn't YOUR relationship, and while you'd like to protect her and keep her from harm, you must allow her to make her own decisions. Being a good friend is not telling her what your view is on right and wrong, being a good friend is supporting her whether you agree with her decision or not. The only 2 people who REALLY know how the relationship is, are the two that are in it. This may be a poor decision, or it may not , regardless it's HER decision, not yours.0