Why would a 23 year old date a 56 year old if he's not rich?

Isn't that a little creepy? Does she have daddy issues or is she genuinely attracted to guys with hair growing out of their ears who fall asleep at 830pm?

Updates:
Follow up-- they've now been together nearly 2 years. Half the time they are fighting. My brother in law (her dad) is upset but won't do much. He's made her lose weight & change her fashion sense --- a positive change. She was very dowdy.
He treats her bad/ silent treatment. His son hates her - close in age. He will not meet our family. Refuses! He is using her for sex

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe its real?Personally learned the hard way with a young girl from school that was 23 and I was 43 or so.We were not on the same wave length. Sex is not everything Temptation sometimes rears its ugly head. It did lol I just figured she would see me for awhile then move on, Nope she had me meet her family.Surprisingly they were all cool with it. They even offered me her deceased governor grandfathers suits. Of course I turned them down. She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. I think that my past life turned her on or something? But I had to constantly remind her that I did not have money to go out every night. Well a few nights later she came over with her dad's credit card saying we could go out on it. I said you go out I don't want any part of that card lol Anyways otherwise she was a good girl. A few weeks later she tried to force me to let her move in. I refused then she told her older sister that I was tricking her into sex . Well one day I came home and their was a message on my answering machine from her sister. She said that she did not think it was appropriate because of the 20 year age difference and that if I started any trouble her husband was a state trooper and her dad was a lawyer and her deceased grandfather was governor and that I better think about everything. Well I did after that I made sure I told everyone what happened so they could not set me up and I never spoke to her again. Even a few years later I was at a big picnic and she sat down next to me with her plate of food. It wasn't that I was being rude or thinking I was some stud because she was really good looking and of course one day would get all that money. I was paranoid that she would cause me many problems and my background compared to her and her families well I would not stand a chance. So I never really spoke to her again. Sadly she went through some pretty bad times later going out with the wrong types of men.Love is love it does not see and as long as it is between consenting adults why not? My youngest daughter was seeing a guy my age that I still talk to. He treated her right and she just used him. gave her cars paid for apartments for her as well as spend over 10,000 on a lawyer.J's sisters stated that they felt he was using her but it was the opposite way around and he was actually 20 times better then her gang banging punk boyfriend before who is back in the joint.He wasn't a party animal he did have a lot of money tied up in a few antique as well as a few race cars that he raced. My youngest already lived through two bad wrecks one she was the only survivor of the 3 kids in the car.I alwys believed to live and let live but being a dad I was scared knowing how she got when partying.Personally I do not mess with girls 30 years younger not only maturity but especially music. My x fiancé we broke up after 3 years was my age but listned to the crappiest music so most young girls listen to that Bieber Gaga caca crap. never again lol

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What Guys Said 10

  • Can't say for sure what the attraction is. Perhaps it's maturity. A department in which you may be lacking as evidenced by your description of a 56 year old. I'm in my 50's, don't have hair growing out of my ears, am quite viral, just get going around 8:30pm, and would be happy to give a 23 year old woman more than a run for her money, not to mention all the love, caring, and companionship a women is looking for.

    You sound jealous to me, which is a high schooler's emotion, not a grown woman's emotion. Perhaps he was looking for maturity as well.

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    • she's my niece! I'm worried about her! he makes her cry all the time & he does have hair growing out of all is orifices!

    • I apologize. I thought... I'd be worried too. Love is a complicated thing, assuming that's what it is other than infatuation. She's going to end up living a completely miserable life. One day, years from now, she'll wake up and realize she's made a terrible mistake.

      Someone needs to step in and have a heart-to-heart with her and point out how miserable she really is. If that's been done an intervention may be needed. Be careful, she'll resent the hell out of everyone. I know I would.

  • Yes, sometimes there are father-like issues. Usually relationships with that much age disparity don't last. The two people are simply at different stages of life ... interests, desires and goals are not the same.

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  • I'd find it OK if she was 33 and him 56.

    Actually, she should be at least 1/2 +7 = 28+7= 35,but 33 is close.

    23 is like cradle snatching,and I'm surprised the man would take her seriously.She could be just using him for sex,because he's probably better at it than men her age.I do not jest.

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  • Its the way she feels around him , ' Trust is Lust ' and to say if he was rich it would be OK is a "Gold Digger" :)

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  • So it's only acceptable if she wants his money?

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  • It's totally insane indeed. Or a plan to get a large check. So highly neurotic or sociopathic.

    Anyway, not a good perspective.

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  • Have you read novel Mr. Chips?

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  • Maybe he is treating her better than the guys she knows closer to her age. Guys that old are usually a lot more settled and less dramatic.

    And by the way, lots of guys over 60 are up way beyond 8:30. You are pretty heavy on the generalizing.

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  • Love is blind. (Btw, older women turn me on!)

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  • Yes, and there can be psych issues, but ruling them out:

    He may be providing stability, patience and respect that young dicques have no time for and ee may have retained adequate youth.

    Your characterization more approximates 70's. Look at Paul Newman and Clint Eastwood at that age.

    None the less, 23 and 56 IS wrong in my book.

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    • She's my niece! He is much older than her parents (10 years). So concerned!

    • I would be too. The problem is not so much 23/56 as 43/76. Prescription for se real kinds of sorrow.

What Girls Said 6

  • I don't have Daddy issues, but within the last 3 years I haven't been attracted to a man under 40. I was willing to marry this man who was 43. Unfortunately my age was an issue for him. Men don't grow up until they are 40 and even then its hopeful thinking. Majority have better conversations. They can articulate well. They are direct. They think and challenge you. They have lived their lives for themselves and now they are ready to give. They are established and a house of wisdom...I could go on and on...lol

    I have a few friends like me and my age also, but they will date 50's. I won't go past 45 unless he is Jesus.lol The majority think that we are crazy for it. I think I am smart. He can't be controlling. Not every older man qualifies.

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    • There is a problem with a man who can't relate (or is unwanted by) to women his own age. What can they see that you don't? Just sayin'...

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    • Thanks for your comments. You're right about the majority of men over 40. We do think and we do challenge. We also enjoy being challenged. And we've wised up. I can't speak for all of these men but I can say I've become a giver. Nothing is more important than to make sure those in my life are taken care of, happy, satisfied, appreciated, and loved.

    • Every case is different. Overall I am pretty mature for my age. I love the deeper things of life. Our common interest is our faith. We are encourage to befriend people of ALL ages, races and economic backgrounds. My best friend who I would do everything with if she let me is 65. Sometimes she has to remind me of her age. She has more energy then I do.lol I am an old soul...Look at the example of Ruth and Boaz in the bible. To clarify the men I loved were loved by all ages of women.

  • She's either a sub or she's being him so he won't fire her at the workplace

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  • Yes. But not smart

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  • Maybe if he's a gentleman, with a good personality and GREAT In the sack, I suppose that would be a reason why.

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  • If he's not rich, I'd say that she either has daddy issues or she's attracted to older men.

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    • Anyway it's gross.

  • Daddy issues, delusional, insecure. Nothing positive.

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    • He's not even good looking, & she is... why would she do this? We (family) don't understand. And, he treats her poorly. He's a manager at her job (but not her manager). She's not allowed to tell anyone about him - but she has...this has been going on 9 months.

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