Should I stop dating this guy if I don't feel strongly about him after 4 dates?

There's this guy I met and we've been on 4 dates so far. I'm not goo-goo gaga over him yet, is that bad? Is it bad that bad?

I know that sometimes the best relationships develop over friendship and love takes time to grow and develop, so should I keep trying?

We share the same morals and values, he's a TOTAL sweetheart, always thinks of how I feel, makes sure to take me to nice places on our dates and is a total gentleman. He is the quintessential "nice guy" but I just am not super attracted to him--not because he's not cute or anything, but there's something just not there that makes me wanna grab and undress him. I also like to be mentally stimulated.

Should I just stop or allow time to take its course and develop love?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's always hard to know where to draw the line when you have positive experiences but not enough to want to take things to the next step. I don't know of any hard and fast rules. One thing I should point is that part of why you don't want to grab him and tear his clothes off is because he's a nice guy. They don't operate like that so it's not surprising. Physical things are bound to be slower and take patience as he gets past feeling that he's not taking advantage of you by doing the kinds of things that would turn you on. You can certainly help him along that way by assurances that he can go further without wronging you somehow.

    The mental stimulation problem is a whole different issue. Do you bring up things that are mentally stimulating to him? If so, how does he respond? Is there anything that will help that along? If he's holding back, that is a much less serious issue than if he's just not interested.

    For my take on nice guys, see link

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes, you don't want to hurt him.

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