When to ask a girl out on a dating site?

I have been talking to someone on POF for a few days. We send rather lengthy messages to each other. She originally messaged me. I really like her. Of course she takes a bit to reply. We both work. I keep my data on so my phone dings when I get a message so I can reply right away.

How long do I wait and how do I ask?

I'm very wary as she is better looking than me. And I'm a tad overweight. (5'10 195)

Updates:
I don't know the standard timing. I'd like to message more but I don't want her to think like I'm stalking

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My first online dating experience, I've met with two people after around a week of messaging back and forth almost everyday, I'm still dating this one guy. But one of the guys who messaged me first, I said I'm not sure if I'm gonna go with online dating, but I don't mind a friendship, he asked me to meet up a few times over 3 weeks messaging every few days, then I was finally comfortable meeting people so I said OK, he was VERY surprised I said yes, and that kinda creeped me out...anyways girls aren't comfortable sharing phone numbers until first date to make sure your're the same person you pretend to be especially as far as age and looks. whenever you feel comfortable asking her to meet up for coffee do it, you don't wanna message each other for a long time, then get shocked on a first date, in person meetings give a better impression.

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    • Of course. I would never lie in a profile. I have all my pictures from December 2013 and my profile describes me and my personality the best I can. I have nothing to hide and I would expect her to be the same. You will find out eventually when someone is lying.

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    • It's been 36 hours since I sent the last message in which no reply was given to me. I'm going to take it as it's Christmas but I'm not so sure. Maybe I missed my window

    • lol @theguyoverthere, I'm sure that girl would 've showed up to the date drunk, so you've eventually known :P

      Dear question asker: it is Christmas so take it easy, I also have to warn you give the girl attentions but don't creep her out, if you like her after first date make sure you text her 30 mn after dates saying you enjoyed meeting her, then contact her after a day or two and ask her for another date. ;)

What Girls Said 7

  • I couldn't tell you when is the perfect time. My boyfriend asked me out on a date after messaging for less than a week and I decided to risk it, since he chose to meet up during the day in a pub in the city centre.

    Best decision of my life. Still together two years down the line.

    I guess is that you should just ask her out when you feel comfortable.

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  • Just ask her a hypothetical question like : if I were to ask you out would you say yes? Then take it from there once she replies

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  • awe, just tell her how you feel about her & say you'd like to get to know her better over dinner or a movie.. Whatever SHE wants to do.(: don't be scared to ask her, if she wasn't interested in you she wouldn't talk to you.

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  • just talk for about a week or so as u dnt wna come across as rushing things nd after tht if u both agree meet up and go on a date and looks arent everything its personality tht counts :)

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  • When you know her 0.o

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  • First of all, try to wait 24 hours before answering so you don't seem desperate. If you've been corresponding for a couple weeks I say go for it! Be confident in yourself and how you look. This is very important. Good luck!

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  • after a week of emailing back and forth, ask her out

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What Guys Said 3

  • I personally keep my messages limited to 5 and then ask for a number to text/call for a meet up. Any girl that can't handle that is only looking for attention and has no business on a dating site. The whole "unsure of meeting" thing is pure bullshit. It just means they are fishing for compliments on the site to feel better about themselves.

    These sites are meant for meeting real people in the real world and a lot of the "dangerous" situations girls exaggerate about are mainly because they did not use common sense and met guys in the wrong ways like going straight to their house instead of meeting at a coffee shop or something. Everyone knows guys look for hookups online. Guys know girls use the sites money scrounging for dinner dates. But honestly, any girl that can't meet a guy for a cup of coffee does not have a healthy set of social skills and meeting over a cup of coffee is just that, a meet up, not a relationship, hook up, or whatever.

    With that said, I can tell you, I have gotten numbers off of pof a plenty and even then, getting them to meet up is not guaranteed. You still risk being stood up, last minute canceled, and so on. Just ask if she'd like to meet up sometime and if you could exchange numbers. That's it. If she can't, don't message her back and move onto the next. The last thing you need is to waste time on another one of the many girls who only use the sites to watch their inbox fill up with aimless compliments like "You're pretty" or whatever.

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    • That's not true at all. For some people, they're genuinely just more afraid of meeting up. 5 messages is way too short and I have met people that I met online. I waited about a week before meeting up, and several messages later. And no my intention obviously wasn't to fish for complements since I eventually do meet up. Everyone is different and putting people on a time limit is an ass thing to do and kinda creepy. Makes the girl wonder why you're so eager.

    • Once I put that limit on I have met girls much more frequently and got away from all the insecure girls. Best move I ever made. Go ahead and waste people's time. Not

  • Ask to meet up after a few days if everything seems to be clicking properly.

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  • Has she sent you her number they usually do if they are interested. If not nextttt.

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    • People don't usually give out numbers right away do they? Isn't that a safety issue?

    • Depends sometimes I say the app keeps crashing on my phone do you mind if I text you. instead

      Or I tell them they can text me and leave my number that never works but after few more messages they usually leave theirs.

    • It's safe to give out a number online if she's read your profile and you've messaged a little bit. Technology these days makes blocking a number just as easy. If a girl can't give her number out, she should not be talking to you at all and is only looking for attention.

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