Why is it if a guy still lives at home by a certain age, most people won't respect him, most girls won't date.

him, but a woman can live at home with her parents at pretty much any age and most men won't care, will overlook that about her, if a woman has her own place, what goes through most mens minds is "its a plus but it's not a must have, won't influence my attraction or decision to date her, to be in a relationship with her", but if a man still lives at home by a certain age, it's pretty much non-negotiable for the overwhelming vast majority of women out there.

I ask this question because, well eventhough I live independently now, I'm a home-owner now, it's just that I feel sorry for the guys out there who still live at home by a certain age, yes eventhough some people will say they don't deserve sympathy because of the gender norm that guys are not supposed to receive sympathy because they are expected to take responsibility for everything in life, responsibility is something that is always or usually expected from guys more than girls, but it's not easy buying houses in this generation or paying rent for an apartment, it's become more expensive to live independently, but I do know that if a guy still lives at home past a certain age most women will be turned off by him, however the other way around, women can still get a boyfriend just as easily regardless if they were living independently or not.

Updates:
if a guy has a job and a car that is not enough unfortuneately if he is past a certain age, I guess men truly are the laborers of life and creators of civilizations, that's what I heard from a Dating consultant

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I respect those that stay home, I know some it's a family custome till marriage

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What Girls Said 7

  • I mean yeah, okay, but... This by and large goes for middle-class and above white American women & men though. This isn't happening in Ireland, for a start - whole big families live together down here! Whole extended families. Both grandparents, uncles, aunts, parents, kids, grandchildren, all in the one house (or a few houses nearby). Esp. in working class or rural Ireland. It's expected that you WILL live at home, unless you get married & move someplace else. You have families living in the same house for generations, in rural areas, or constantly moving but staying together in the cities (cos of gentrification, blah...)

    & in America, I mean - you don't think this is happening on the reservations, right? As far as my pals from the reservations have been living, it's like, lots and lots and lots of people in one house, just a few rooms... 'Moving out' isn't even a thing, usually. That's very very rare... Like, you don't HAVE this expectation to own yer own shit, nobody owns their own shit.

    I can't speak to any other pockets of living (I'm thinking of ghettos & barios etc) but like, basically - the poor don't move out in nearly the same way as the middle class do. And the poor make up the majority, so... What year saying here is, 'As a white middle-class dude, I'm sorry for other white middle-class dudes who can't Bone Hot Chicks because of their social arrangements.' Which like, okay, but...

    I'm not feeling too sorry for white middle-class dudes who can't Bone, tbh. We poor kids are fighting to KEEP a house... most of us don't even have a house to hold on to. (& we're boning everybody tbh. Eat year lonely rich boy heart out) ;)

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  • In many cultures, it's custom or expected for an unwed female to live at home because her morals are then questioned. It's kind of like "why does she need to live alone? What is she doing? Is she bringing home guys? She's supposed to be pure so that a man will want her."

    While men are supposed to be well-educated, career oriented and independent because one day they will have a wife and family support, even if the woman is working. He's supposed to have a stable career.

    Plus, there seems to be a noticeable pattern among guys who still live at home. They seem to lack independence, they're massive mama's boys and lack ambition. It's as though they're content with being labeled as 'losers' in society.

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    • never understood why having ambition is a masculine trait, what is it that is so attractive about a man that has ambition?

    • I see. You lack ambition therefore it's out of this world to you

    • +1 for the first 2 paragraphs. DISAGREE with the last paragraph though. Most people who can move out economically but are staying at home are doing it bcoz of disability. & like yeah, QA is such a loser, but like, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater... Disability first, y'know...

  • Oh brother.

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  • Then he needs to change himself

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  • It's because they're losers. Duh. Women will still get dates because women aren't expected to be providers. It's common sense.

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  • Because that's what both genders traditionally seek out of each other. And you've posted this before.

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  • I'm 23 years old and bought my first house 6 months ago, before that I had an apartment. Sorry if I'm interested in finding a guy that is self-sufficient.

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    • Don't apologize. You're only holding men up to the standards you held for yourself. It's not like you said you live at home and expect a guy to have purchased a house

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    • HA HA HA HA. Okay, okay, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one: I'm fucking disabled, you bitch. (nah, not giving you the benefit of the doubt tbh). I'm confined to my bed almost 24/7. I don't have OPTIONS on getting a job. & my mother has a job. Lemme tell you sth: it's a working class job. Cos see when you're poor you can't afford an education, right? isn't that shocking? You don't have OPTIONS on that. Iisn't it funny that poor people don't benefit from capitalism? LMAO. So--

    • so when a poor person DOES get a job. and when my mother does have a job. It's not even enough to buy FOOD. You realize that, rich cunt? We don't even have enough money for FOOD. LMFAO. You're looking down on boys for not buying HOUSES at the drop of a hat. We can't actually buy FOOD. Do you see why I'm SO fucking mad at you right now? LMAO. I'm STARVING here. I have a stinted stomach from malnutrition. And you're talking about... INDEPENDENCE? LMFAO.

What Guys Said 4

  • Sadly, I find this to be true. A couple of girls have turned me down because I still lived with my dad. Even after I told them that I was sick the past three years and couldn't work, they still wouldn't.

    Others need to not be so quick to judge. Some of us have legit reasons for staying at home. Like for me, I was sick. If anything, it's a good idea to stay at home in this bad economy (America). You can save so much money and you can pay off your school debt before you invest your money into a place of your own.

    I think as long as you're working and still able to take of yourself independently, you should give them a chance. But if you're staying at home and purposely not looking for a job and just spending all day playing video games, watching p*rn and smooching off your parents, THEN I see why you shouldn't give them a chance.

    Trust me, if I could have my own place to live right now, I would. It's not like I have an option right now. Thankfully I will be moving on my own in a few months.

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  • As far as your claimed double standard, I'd probably chalk that up more to guys not being as picky/caring that girls live at home still. I don't think it's unrealistic to expect a guy or girl to have moved out by their early twenties. They would assumed to be independent and financially stable by that point in their lives. Living at home seems to mean that the guy either has no ambition or is lazy. Girls aren't necessarily put off by the fact that a guy lives at home, rather what it says about him.

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  • Probably the old fashioned mindset that the guy is expected to be the breadwinner

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  • Because women date for money and status.

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