In my mid 30's and still single. I swear I am cursed or something?

[Anonymous]

I am 34 years old. Never been married, and childless. Not overweight and do get told I am attractive every now and then.

It has been 3 years since I was in a relationship. I have dated a couple of times since then but the guys I meet never want anything serious lately.

I have probably been in 4 serious relationships and dated a few people. Maybe I don't put myself out there as much as I should.

I am not desperate to find anyone but feel like I never will. I do enjoy the freedom of being single.

It feels good not having to depend on anyone, not having to back answer to anyone, doing what I want when I want but it does get pretty lonely from time to time.

I have read articles on what a guy wants in a girlfriend online out of curiosity, I see qualities I have on there. Yet. Still single. I just get frustrated reading those because I feel like it is all BS when I read it.

I am a bit of a homebody and do like staying home a lot. Still do go out a fair bit though and out with my friends.

Every other aspect in my life is fine. Just have the worst luck when it comes to love.

A friend tried to set me up with a guy who was also in his 30's Apparently he was looking to settle down. The problem was we had never met. It was going to be a blind date.

He did send a text. Asked me out but he never followed through. I thought that was really rude and felt like I was being fed BS with that as well.

We had sent texts a couple of times. Him always initiating. Then nothing. A few weeks later I sent a text saying hello and if he was still interested in catching up let me know. He replied, still never asked me out and got nothing back. Have not sent a text since then. Thought there was really no point. Shrugs.

This is what I mean in worst luck ever. Can't even organise a blind date together. That was really discouraging. Just keep thinking things would have motivated him more, if we had met in person first.

Plus keep meeting guys who only want sex. Nothing serious.

Should try online dating again I guess. Any other suggestions?

[ThisAndThat]

Wow, if that were only my complaint. I think I've got you beat at this game. As long as I can possibly remember my entire life even when I was 2 years old I had super crushes on girls, though I went through life not hardly as much as even having girls to be as simple friends growing up. I'm a guy yes, not over weight and I've only had 2 relationships in my whole entire lifetime together lasting under 2 years. I have absolutely no kids, and no, not even an accident. Now I'm now 49 and I haven't even so much as touched a girl in almost 30 years. I went so long without even so much as a date that I don't stand a chance of attracting to anybody my age any more, that went out the window about 30 years ago. My luck with girls is so bad I could walk into a room so crowded with them and they'd all walk out at the same time as I was walking in. Just last week me and my brother went to a local restaurant mainly because they have gorgeous waitresses there. And I told my brother before we left, you just watch we'll go there and a stupid guy will wait on us. Guess what happened? A guy waited on us. I got so piss*d I tipped him all the case I had left in my pocket $11.00. My luck is so bad with girls it could be raining whores and I get his in the head with a f** every time. I have my doubts anyone especially a girl would want to trade luck with me. So remember that old saying, you think you've got it bad?

[mykeedd]

I don't think you have anything to lose by going on the offensive. If you see a guy you might like, ask him out. There's no shame in that and I'm personally impressed if a woman is bold enough to go after what she wants. Go get'em.

[Asker]

That is a good way of looking at things. You got nothing to loose that way! Shows confidence as well. Thanks. Just get a bit shy approaching people at times that's all. Plus how do you know if they are single or not while out and about?

[mykeedd]

You don't. I get shy and nervous too but hey, nothing ventured,nothing gained. Those who never get in the game never win. Make no mistake though. This is easy to type, but not as easy in practice. Don't be afraid of rejection. Most people will politely inform you if they're not interested so rudeness should be a rarity. And never underestimate the disarming power of a smile. Good luck!

[Asker]

True in my case lol. My friends tried to set me up on a blind date recently. He asked me out but never followed through. I sent a text a few weeks later saying hey. Asked him out. He replied. Again just replied and never followed through. Was that a game thing? Cause everyone was telling me he was the type that wanted to settle down? Hadn't even met the guy and he was being weird like this with me lol. Gave up after that.

Thanks for the motivational speech I will definitely keep this in mind.

[Asker]

Good new years resolution as well. Yes. Should smile more to. Will definitely be doing that.

[kerouac5]

I understand where you are coming from. I'm 26 years old, a virgin and can't find the right guy. I'm a pro hockey player on a men's team and though I'm surrounded by 25 Hot men everyday, none of them are serious about love. I felt like giving up too, then started online dating. I went to a few sites and nothing, I was very discouraged until someone wise told me, "the right guy will come when you least expect it." You seem like you're very nice and I'm sure there is a great guy out there for you. Just be patient. I'd say if you want to try online dating, go for it. Follow your instincts and heart and don't give up. The right guy for you is out there, and when you find each other I'm sure it'll be forever. :-)

[Whitechocolate1001]

See that's your problem your team mates see you as a team mate not has a Girlfriend. You could be surround by 100 Hot men and all 100 of them will see you as a team mate or even a sister figure.

[mantobee]

*hot men , I know all you girls want us unnatractive guys dead and gone (and only want good looking guys) ,not every girl can get a model looking guy , we exist too

[kerouac5]

I don't want the kind of guys my teammates are, I want seal nice guy.

[Asker]

Thanks. Being patient and will do that. Fingers crossed. Same goes for you!

For the guys below. Some girls do go through that hot men phase but by the time they do date the 'nice guys' the nice guys end up turning into a holes cause of girls from their past that have been bitches. Not all girls do this! Not every guy can get 'model looking girls' either.

So stop punishing nice girls you will possibly get in the future because of 'these type of girls' from the past.

[kerouac5]

Thank you :-)

[iluvchewbucca]

Don't read articles about what "guys" want, because it's mostly women who write them... so consider it BS.

There are toooo many guys on here who seem hopeless too, maybe you can find your match here?

[Justin-Manfredonia]

This is good advice, I am often weary of articles written by men about "what women want".

[Asker]

I have been reading some of the posts. I was especially amused with the 'looks are everything to a guy' one post. Another post 'don't go for model type looking guys.

All good advice though and will keep a few things in mind for next year. Yeah. It does seem that way. Agree! All it did was confuse me when I read that lol.

[timewarper]

There are lots of guys here in the same situation, take your pick!

[Hamburgers]

It's because you 'were' fed BS.

Looks are almost everything for guys.

Not to infer looks make happy marriages, no. Albeit, I am saying if you're ugly it's virtually a deal breaker.

If the average looking woman isn't content with accepting a male in her league, she must accept the fact that men out of her league will only want her for sex.

Getting in the gym and becoming your best self will increase your odds.

[Asker]

LoL here you are telling me that looks are everything to a guy. Yet I am getting other posts saying to stop going after model looking men.

Got a good laugh noting the double standards there!

How can you say that and assume that, without even seeing what I look like? I had a pretty high profile guy smiling and winking at me the other day so he must have thought I was half decent looking.

I am content with accepting a male in my league. I have gone out with 'non model' type guys.

[Asker]

Just that nothing has worked out for me. Oh and getting to the Gym and becoming my best self will help. Thanks. :-).

[Asker]

Not that I need it but it'll just give a good energy boost and keep me fit.

[Hamburgers]

Girls place more emphasis on humor, intelligence, social intelligence, resources, dominance, strength (Emotional and physical), social status, and so on. Does that mean it is a double-standard since we men don't care as much about those things? No, it merely means we are different. And that is OK.

Also, you are very much free to seek model-like men. However, if you were in that league you wouldn't be asking this question.

Indeed. You've got company, we can all lose a few lbs and improve.

[Asker]

From what I gather some men place emphasis on that as well. And agree that is okay.

Same goes for guys that want to date 'model type girls' but these are probably the same girls that the guys on here complain about that ignore them as well.

There are lots of attractive women who are in the same boat as I am, so you can't judge this question sorely based on looks. LoL.

Just look at all the dating shows on TV.

[Hamburgers]

I never said men don't care about those qualities. I said looks matter the most. No looks = deal breaker.

A woman will find a man attractive because he has status, confidence, humorous, and charming.

Conversely, a woman can have status, wit, charm, intelligence, confidence, and the kitchen sink, but if she's physically unattractive 90% of men still won't want you.

I agree. The guys complaining likely aren't willing to accept women that are in their league.

The only reason

[Hamburgers]

"attractive" women are in the same boat as you are, is because they too are not willing to accept a man that is in her league.

[Asker]

You know every time I have gone on a date. I have always gotten complimented on my looks. I even get told I look better in person, then I do on my online profile. The last guy I went out with even kept mentioning, I had sexy eyes. I am not making this up.

There might be something to what you say. But this friend of mine who I feel bad about saying this about, is not so attractive is engaged this year to a guy who is pretty decent looking. Now explain that.

Looks. Not always.

[Asker]

So everyone I have been out with is full of shit is what you are saying? LoL. From what I read.

I do understand what you are saying but I don't think that it is always true. I really feel bad for what I said about my friend before but that is just an example of couples, that can be like that and that does blow your theory.

[Hamburgers]

When it comes to human behavior, beyond our instincts, there aren't many 'absolutes.' I certainly don't mean to imply such.

I'm also not saying you are unattractive. However, I am saying that if you're decent looking and can't get a date, it's likely because your standards are out of your league. An average or below average looking woman can have a stud for a night, week, month. But she can't keep him.

In regards to your friend, as I have mentioned there are always exceptions in regards

[Hamburgers]

to humans. Albeit, I don't bother with minor exceptions, or other loud minorities.

Don't feel bad about that statement, it's just the truth. My best friend, whom is the best looking guy I've ever known in person, is with a very ugly woman. Well, even he agree's it's because she has a killer body, he wanted sex initially, and resulted in being trapped by poorly planned parenthood.

[Asker]

I do get what you are saying. Tend to slightly agree, now that you have explained it more.

Ha ha. I thought you would bring in the exception to the rule theory there. :-).

The last couple of guys I have dated have been on my level, looks wise. But one was not over his ex, the other I worked out (last one) was just full of shit. Actions not matching words. Learnt to watch out for that now so I was the one that ended up dumping him.

[Asker]

But tried to get set up on a blind date recently. Never done one of those before. The guy got my number. Asked me out but never followed through on it.

Heard he was shy but still I was encouraging him.

A few weeks later. I send him a text saying let me know if you are still keen to catch up. He responded. But did not mention anything about going out again.

We had never met. I keep thinking if we had. That would have motivated him more. Not sure what happened there. Shrugs.

[Whitechocolate1001]

Look at it this way just be glad you weren't born a male in your mid 30's and single or worse never been on a date. I'm only 28 and never had a Girlfriend hell women don't even look or talk to me so trust me your life is a cakewalk compared to my life. So please complaining because at least the opposite sex wants to date and heck even talk to you I don't have that option.

[ThisAndThat]

You hit the nail on the head. When it comes to dating girls have it easy compared to guys hands down. And yeah I feel your pain, because of my lack of participation being turned down and ignored by girls practically all my life, it's easy for me to be attracted to a girl as young as wwwhoaaaaa, yeah that's right 18! Those girls that use to ignore me in our day, a lot of them divorced looking at me now, let them go in shock when learn I'm attracted to their daughter, not them.

[Whitechocolate1001]

@ThisAndThat thanks for agreeing. Yeah I hate it when women or girls complain they have it hard in the dating world which makes me laugh considering they can get any guy they want. Us guys as stuck with who and what we get.

[Anonymous]

Aww poor baby, Obviously you been having some Hardlock and have been doing something wrong, If you have been actively pursuing relationships with good decent men, Like me not that in to you, It should not be too difficult to find a lasting love relationship if you look diligently and thoroughly it would behoove you to extent your search beyond the Internet and on the Internet. just don't waste your time on bums that have nothing to offer. I wish you luck.

[Prof_Don]

How friendly are you overall?

How shy are you overall?

I have met girls through the most random of circumstances by just being friendly and talking to people everywhere I go.

[Asker]

I am very friendly. Love meeting new people and chatting to them. I do get a bit shy when it comes to approaching people if it is out on the streets, shops, or where you go in general.

This might have to be a new years resolution of mine to do. Talk to more people everywhere I go.

Would rather meet people in person then online, but still want to try online dating as well. Just to have another venue to meet people through.

[jamaall89]

Try Facebook? I don't know... sorry. Keep your chin up. You're only 10 years older than me. I don't think 34 is old, especially if you take care of yourself. You still have time.

[ThisAndThat]

Facebook or buttbook whatever it is, it's the most antisocial sites on the net. To date it's in fact the only crappy site on the net that I'm aware that punishes its users for adding friends. They also censor posts.

[Anonymous]

stop going after modeling looking men

[Asker]

Aren't looks everything to men though? According to the post below. Sorry couldn't resist but bring this up!

Double standards!

[Asker]

The guys complaining about girls who are ignoring them should stop going after 'model looking girls' as well.

[Opinion Owner]

never been that way , girls want the top guy and want us ugly guys dead