For those of you who have been deployed: Would you like hearing from someone you just started dating?

I met a guy about two months ago who is Special Forces. We didn't get to hang out much in person when we first met because he got stationed in a different state, but we talked a few times and text a few times a week. I recently went to visit him for 2 days a week before he got deployed for 6 months. We had a great time and things felt comfortable. We slept together for the first time. On our last morning together he wanted to just cuddle rather than have sex (which I think is a good thing?). When I left, we agreed that we wanted to see each other again and that we would stay in contact over the next 6 months. He said he would send me his mailing address when we knew it.

A few days later he wished me a Merry Christmas, we talked on the phone briefly when I asked him to call me, and I sent him a text wising him good luck the morning when he deployed.

I haven't heard from him since (only 3 days), but I'm wondering if I should wait for him to email me, or if I should send an email asking how he's doing first? Is it an annoyance to get emails while deployed, or would he welcome it? He is Special Forces, so I imagine he's busy. We haven't defined that we are dating, only that we want to continue to see each other. And 6 months can be long. I just want him to know that I support him, would like to see him again, and that I don't mind that he's gone for a few months.

Is it "his turn." or would it make him feel good if I sent him a nice message?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I would send him a short, nice message. Something that will give him a smile when he reads it after having been on a difficult mission for 3 days.

    It would be really nice for you if in 6 months time you guys can return to that warm relationship. That could be the start of chemistry for life!

    I'll post you a friendship request. I'm far away in Belgium but if you need a chat on a lonely day feel free to post a message.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Email him. Seriously, these emails are the only things that get us through it all. Email him at least a couple of times a week. But also remember that getting signal deployed can be a pain in the butt so he won't be able to always contact you regularly. But trust me, emailing him and maybe even sending care packages will mean a lot to him.

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    • Thanks, that's good advice! Yeah, I want to send him a care package. And I told him I would (he laughed but seemed happy). But he needs to send me his address for that. I'm really trying to look at it like trying to give positive energy (for lack of a better word) to him without doing it because I expect a response. I just don't want to annoy him in trying to a smile on his face.

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    • What would you want to hear while you're over there? I feel like everything I say is trivial compared to what he's doing.

    • How your day is going, interesting news going on in the world, interesting facts you read. I suggest you don't talk about wars or any violence though.

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