He is 53 and I am 49 both of us have been married before and divorced. We both have our own house and me and him get along great. We have even talked about marriage, but I told him that I would not move in without a ring. We even looked at rings in the mall and I know what kind of ring that he is thinking about getting. The problem though I know it is wrong but I got his password for his email and have been checking it and as it turns out he looks at dating websites but does not fully register. In the beginning of our relationship I accidently saw his history on his computer because he needed help with something. As it turns out he was talking to women on craigslist and of course he said nothing happened and it will never happen again. That is why I am keeping tabs on him. with out him knowing. When I was drunk I gave him a proposal ultimatum of 3years and I don't remember that. Should I stay and keep tabs on him up until my deadline or let him go now?
Most Helpful Girl
Maybe you should have a frank discussion with him. See where his mind and heart are and what his true intentions are for the relationship. It sounds like he really likes/loves you, but he's still not sure he wants to commit to you in a marriage. Maybe that's why he is still perusing the dating sites and Craigslist. Keeping his options open, so to speak. Even worse still, maybe he truly does love you and really does want to get married, but he is the unfaithful type...and will cheat on you if presented with the proper opportunity. (If he hasn't already cheated.) Many supposedly happily married/committed men cheat on their partners. It's so easy to do with all of the online resources available today.
Anyway, bottom line...you're a mature woman who should know up from down by now. Ask yourself what you want in a man and in a relationship. Even if you weren't talking about marriage yet, you've been with him for over 2 years. If you're in a committed dating relationship, is it okay for him to still be looking at online dating/hook-up sites? Don't you deserve better? What would you tell your best friend (or daughter) if she asked you the same questions?
Once you decide what you want, what you're willing to accept and not accept as appropriate behaviors/treatment from your boyfriend...then talk about your concerns and your expectations with your man. Attach a higher value to yourself by knowing you deserve a man who will be fully faithful to you. Be calm and be firm in what you say, but only say what you're prepared to actually do. If you need to exit the relationship and move on to find a man who is prepared to be fully faithful, then prepare yourself to do just that. Good luck.0