How to deal with a guy who tries to put it all in your hands?

I don't even know how to describe this type of guy, but I've had it happen to me a few times now.

They give me their number and say things like "let me know when you're going to be around and maybe we can hangout" instead of just being like "hey wanna hang out this weekend?"

Basically I end up feeling like I have to chase them. Like there's never a set plan or we never hang out unless I plan it. Or they won't text or call but when I text/call them we'll talk for hours and are super into it.

It seems like they're into me so I do plan stuff and I guess give chase. But then that makes them lose interest. So what's the best way to pursue guys like this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys are scared of rejection just like girls. This comments may very well be there way of minimizing the rejection if you don't want to hang out. They can play if off a lot better than if they were to ask you directly if you wanted to hang out and you said no.

    The key is to give them a little bit without going into a full on chase. So you might text them back, "in town" with a winky face like you girls do...don't do all the work for him, but let him know hey there is some interest there.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Aaand welcome to the life of males, now you know why guys don't like you people at heart. lol because us men grew tired of climbing up repunzles tree and realising we did all of that... And repunzel ain't shit, just another typical overly self important female. If you want him go for him and stop complaining.

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  • It depends on if you really want them. If you are really interested in a guy like this:

    1 Find out if he is interested in you, see what he thinks of you. You could be friendzoned.

    2 Make the call, text.

    So many time females want equality, but in times like this you all get flustered. Guys have to be the aggressors constantly, but in this situation you have to take the lead a little.

    3 Once you get past friendzone, he should start taking the lead and if it doesn't you do it and give it time.

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  • If you like him/them, then tell him so.. I would say these are tests and of how much the girl really is into them.

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  • This reminds me of the "What happened to the nice guy? You did." post.

    link

    Note: DON'T take this the wrong way--I am NOT saying you are that woman.

    However, he IS that man.

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    • Haha funny article.

    • lol it's a good point. Just don't forget there's a reverse story as well - for every girl that's bitter or just using you, there's a guy who took advantage and made her that way.

  • I get it. Men are supposed to lead. However, these guys want you to be the man. That is not a turn on for a woman. So if these guys are not getting the hint that you are interested, you don't have to 'chase' if you don't want to.

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  • i have the Exact same problem with girls! if you figure out an answer, you gotta let me know. I know I'm the one that's suppose to do the chase and ask them to hang out but it alwasy seems one sided!

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    • In my experience a person either likes you or they don't, you can't talk them into it. And if they like you, they're going to make the effort to text or call or show they want to spend time together. One sided doesn't work out. Working off that's always worked for me, but apparently it also means I'm missing out on the shy or quiet guys who fade into the background. There's just no winning lol.

  • Give them your number and tell them to call if they find something fun to do.

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  • Smart guys. Dating is a lot easier when you make the woman chase you, because then you know she's into you before you invest any time in her.

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  • Well if I say it like that which I usually don't I would mean let me know when you're going to be around so I can set something up for us to do. I don't expect you to have something in mind already, but that's just me. So basically I'm giving you the option and all you have to do is text back and forth a few times so I can setup a time and place to hang out.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Do you want to date the lazy guy that can't commit to a dinner? What happens when you need Him to...i don't know...gasp...actually show up on time to a place and...shocker tell you he'd like to see you again? Forget it, if he doesn't like you enough to specify and time and place, you'll be forever chasing him around. And that's no offence to you, I mean we all know that if a guy thinks he can get anyone to do the heavy lifting for him he'll keep trying it on, you do a guys washing once you'll spend the next month refusing to act as personal wash maid. How to deal with this...don't take his number, smile and say "how about instead you call me if you ever want to get a coffee/drink/dinner" if he gets in contact and suggests something say sure? When and where?. No time...move on. If he starts going ummmm well ill get back to you? Move on

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    • This has nothing to do with laziness. It's just a different approach - putting the girl in the chasing role.

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    • A lot of these answers are interesting and speak a lot toward passive guys but you're more on point with who I'm talking about. It's the guy who's so busy and thinks he can get whomever he wants, so why put in the effort? He can make them do the work for him.

    • Yeah sorry honey. I've met them, let them go

  • don't bother. guys who do that are either passive, on the wimpy side and scared.. they can be harmless if u want a guy u can easily emasculate and dominate. they won't be that strong manly type that makes ur panties wet and make u wanna follow him anywhere..

    or they are the assholes who see u as strictly a sex object. they want sex with as little effort as possible. they don't really like u and resent that they have to engage u or lead like a normal man would. that's the guy who feels like u should jump through hoops to get his attention and will treat u like crap

    so don't pursue men like that! if he can't make an effort in the beginning u don't want him

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  • When they try to give you their number, just give them yours instead.

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