How long do you give butterflies time to kick in?

When dating someone (or meeting up with someone) but there aren't any butterflies from date one, how long do you give them time to kick in? Do you need butterflies to fall in love or start a relationship with someone? Do you think "no butterflies on the first date, I'm not giving him/her a chance"? Or do you go on a few more dates, see if there are some butterflies?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wha? Huh? What is it good for? War! Huh! What is it good for!

    ..sorry, love that song. But seriously, wha? huh? ..I hate 'butterflies'. It means I'm feeling anxious/uncomfortable/not relaxed and it can make me feel sick and make it hard for me to eat or get drunk because the nervousness might make it hard for me to keep it down. I figured a date without this would be awesome.. girls want this? ..that's strange, to me anyway.

    War! Huh! What is it good for! ..always reminds me of Small Soldiers haha

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    • Haha, now that song is stuck in my head! Well, it's not like I WANT butterflies, I just always had butterflies in a relationship, so it's kinda hard for me to know if I'm "in love" with someone without butterflies.

    • Yeah. I find it strange, I'm not taking a dig at what you said at all by the way, or even disagreeing. I find it interesting, but it's kinda' new to me.. I just always assumed 'butterflies' was straight up unpleasant anxiety.. never really associated it with something positive lol.

    • I just recently noticed that almost everybody links butterflies with negative feelings like anxiety and nervousness. I usually linked that with having feelings for someone because to be honest (and I know how this sounds) I don't know how it feels to "have feelings" for someone without having butterflies.

What Guys Said 2

  • I don't need to feel anxious in order to like someone. That isn't a feeling I try to strive for. I think that's what you're talking about.

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    • Yeah, I've read how butterflies actually equal nervousness, but to be honest I've always felt butterflies when I'm in a relationship. For me it was a sign of being interested or "falling for someone", though I don't know how being in love or infatuation feels like without the butterflies.

    • Yeah I feel like this sometimes a little when I'm around a girl I'm very attracted to. If you're in a ltr that nervousness is probably going to go away. But yeah that butterfly feeling can feel really fun and exciting because you want something but you're not sure if you'll get it. Getting it really creates the blissful feeling. Like I said this feeling will go away obviously lol. It's a high.

  • If you find someone attractive it should be there from the first moment.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I might get butterflies if I think the guy's good-looking, but if I don't feel a connection, he's at best (but slim chance) on the back burner.

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  • In my experience I have butterflies as soon as we are dating because I would have had butterflies for them beforehand which means I really like them and therefore would want to have a relationship with them

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  • I get butterflies usually when a guy says something romantic or cute. I'd give it sometime before giving up completely!

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  • attraction can develop. if someone makes you too nervous right away it's all infatuation. but sometimes you know you are absolutely not attracted to the person. other times it is also neutral. think about how kissing him makes you feel. if your response is "ew' get out. if it's "maybe but no butterflies" and you get along well give it a chance

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