Girl doesn't offer to pay on dates?

I'm a bit new to the dating scene so please address me like I know nothing.

So I've recently started dating this girl. We are both 24 and recent graduates with decent jobs. Should be making roughly similar salaries, or at least in the same ballpark. However she has yet to make any offer to pay anything on dates.

The first date was to a show and to a bar afterward (I know the show is a bit fancy for a first date but how it ended up there is a long story, outside the scope of this discussion). She didn't offer to pay for her ticket. She didn't offer to but the first round of drinks since I had paid for the tickets. She didn't offer to buy the second round of drinks.

But as that was the first date, I let it slide since I have accepted that the guy usually pays for everything on that.

Then recently we went on a second date, had dinner. The bill came and she made no offer whatsoever to pay for half of it or make some sort of contribution. Its like me taking my credit card out was the natural order of things and her making a contribution wasn't something that crossed her mind.

Now I completely expect to pay for more things in dating but for her to make no effort whatsoever to pitch in annoys me a bit. It isn't like she's doing me a favor by saying yes to a date and then I have to do all the work and paying after that.

Can anyone offer any advice in a situtaion like this? what's a good way to hint at a girl pitching in on the cost without seeming cheap or poor?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Are you the one asking her on these dates? When I was dating, I never really offered to pay for something when I was asked on the date, unless it was something expensive. I normally paid though when I asked him on a date.

    Maybe next time you two go out to a restaurant, when the check comes, ask her if she'll get the bill and you get the tab and put cash on the table as you ask. If she says no or makes up some excuse, tell her that you will take the bill and she can get the tip but next time she gets it (that way she knows to take her wallet with her).

    If that doesn't help, I would just sit down with her and tell her that, "I really enjoy going on dates with you, but I don't like having to pay for all of them. It would be nice if you pitched in or paid for some every once in a while. I know you don't intend for me to feel like this, but I feel used for my money. I like [love?] you but this has been bothering me for a while now."

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    • Wow, very well worded answer there. THank you!

What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like she's no good to be honest... If you want to stay with her maybe just go for a walk in the park... she really shouldn't be letting you pay for everything.

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What Guys Said 3

  • First off, don't do anything high cost anymore. Sounds like she has a sense of self-entitlement. Don't do anything outside of buying her a cup of coffee. No more alcohol though unless you just want to try her drunk and invite her to your place which even then I think she'll bail on you. She's not dating material in my opinion so that's why I am saying that. She's already let you know that a relationship with her just means you spending money on her and you want someone of much higher quality then that. I wouldn't call her a gold digger but she's definitely not someone you can have a fair relationship with.

    Try dating different women at this point and keep your dates low cost. Coffee and chit chat. Going for a walk when the weather is good. Going hiking. Save yourself from getting gold dug. You're not being cheap. You're just protecting yourself until you see that you're with a mature woman. Then you can have the more costly dates.

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  • Shes no good lol.

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  • if a girl refuses to pay her half she only sees you as a paycheck

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