My Boyfriend Jim and I have be going good for a long time now... And 2 nights ago.. His sister passed away and he got drunk.. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal but his mom is also in the hospital so he drank a lot and thought he was talking to his ex girlfriend and said "Sarah your a whoreed bitch"(Sarah was his ex-gf). he also said many more things..and that's when I knew he was drunk... so last night he sends me a message saying how sorry he was and how he can't see or speak anymore. .and that he needs figure out who that drunk person was... I have forgiven him for every thing but he told me not to call or text... he says he love me and that is why he is doing this and he doesn't want to hurt me more... I love him and want to help him... but I can not think of how to do that because he will not answer my calls or text... I don't want to lose him.. not because of this what should I do? what can I do?
Most Helpful Guy
I think this is natural when someeone is grieving. it is the stages. Anger, denial, pity, acceptance, on and on
I think you just send him a text message or call and leave a message saying, I know your grieving and I get it but you can't push me away because I won't leave you alone in this time.
and leave it at that. If he needs space at times give him space but it doesn't mean that you have to be invisible or just wait on him to contact you before you can contact him
You are going to experience really bi-polar behavior. and you are going to have to remain strong for you two as a couple and for him. now it doesn't mean you should just accept abuse (not saying he is) and if he does get angry at you you can call him out on it but this is going to be a real test of your relationship and your patience.
My fiance's sister died two years ago of brain cancer. she was the same way at times she didn't want me around at all, she'd verbally say things that would really sting and at times I'd have to gently say "i know you're in pain but it doesn't mean you can hurt me". Your presence, your patience and devotion to him though will reallymean a lot to him if you can get through it all.
try to be there for him but sort of respect if he needs distance at times or is uncontrollable upset. but don't let him just push you away (unless you start feeling like you can't handle it)