We had this thing where she would tell me if she disapproves of a guy I like because she doesn't think he is a good guy or thinks I am using poor judgment and vice versa.
I started getting involved with this guy I knew she did not approve of so I didn't tell her because I knew she doesn't support me and after a short while I broke it off with him.
She met a guy (it's a fling not a potential relationship) when she was with me and I really do not approve and think it is a sleazy situation that does not make her look good at all. So I told her I do not approve and I know it's her life and she should do what she wants but I do not support this guy so I do not want to hear about it. I also told her that she has no right to approve who I date anymore because I don't trust her judgment.
The disapproval is based on things like he seems like a jerk, I get a sleazy vibe from him, or dating him makes it look like you don't respect yourself at all. Not things about his looks or money or anything shallow. It's like a "prevent rose colored glasses syndrome" if we think the other one is doing something stupid.
I can't help it I don't approve of him at all so I think she is smarter to not talk about him and I told her that.
Most Helpful Guy
no I don't think it makes you a bad friend...
That said I think that you are casting judgement here in a way that is wholly WHOLLY unfair. You kept a relationship secret from her because you knew she wouldn't approve. You're not with that guy anymore which would lead one to believe that she was probably right about him not being a good bf...
so now you are passing judgement not only on the guy but on her and saynig that her judgement is questionable. Well couldn't she say the same about you if she knew about the guy you dated? And couldnt' she call into question your judgement for lying (by omission) about dating him?
I just think that we need to realize that people make mistakes and judgement on the outside looking in can be easier than when you are the person who has feelings for someone and may have blinders to some faults.
I really don't feel like you are in a position to say that her judgement is questionable. she needs your support even if you don't support the guy... and questioning her judgement is fine but it doesn't mean that she can't possibly have any insight into other things.
it's a "pot calling the kettle black" situations0