If a guy asks me what turns me on online, is it all downhill from there?

I'm on an online dating site but I don't have my picture up. I've been corresponding with this man, who is well-educated. The convo was going good -- he is smart and fun to talk to.

I eventually gave him my pic (which was a standard non-sexual selfie). He said I was pretty. I then said thanks and innocently told him that I thought he was pretty hot. Then he asked me "what turns me on"...I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and said, "a gentleman. And other things but I'll leave it at that".

He said, Fair enough and asked me on a date to get to know each other better. I said I would like to but I was making it clear that I am not that "type of girl". He said that was far from his mind...Is he speaking the truth? Or is this a disaster waiting to happen? Cause I really am not that "type of girl"

Updates:
Thanks for the responses everyone. Yes, I realize it would have been more prudent to call him handsome instead of hot...Also, I realize that asking about turnons could have been a responsible or cultural thing. (He is of a different ethnicity and culture than me). To answer the question of time elapsed this was after 2 days. Anyway, I was thinking of asking him to talk on the phone first. Then I think if all he was interested in was sex, he would likely say no or I could tell from the call...?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If someone is looking for a serious long term relationship then I think it would be strange if every topic came up besides anything sexual. I think most people agree that sexual compatibility is a major factor for a functional long term relationship.

    Maybe he's a creep, who knows.

    But instead of automatically assume the worst then perhaps another perspective could be the opposite. Perhaps he is trying to be serious, and responsible and not waste either of your time and trying to find out if your sexual preferences is compatible.

    So instead of spending 4 months getting to know each other just to discover that your sexual preferences are way off and there is no middle ground. Then he instead cut to the chase and tried to figure you out. Figure out ALL of your aspects.

    Personally, humor and sexuality is what tells me a lot about a person. I couldn't care less about their education, job or how much money they make and such. They are still the same person no matter what job they have.

    Maybe it's because I'm Swedish but asking someone about their sexual preferences is not something weird or creepy. That's part of getting to know someone. There is of course more or less classy ways to talk about those things.

    Like I said. Maybe he is a shallow creep, I don't know.

    All I'm saying is to not jump to negative conclusions to fast.

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    • If it were me asking, I'd listen to this guy :)

What Guys Said 4

  • Did it occur to you that by turn ons he might have meant more along the lines of the cheesy Playboy Playmate "turn ons". You know, "loves animals, sense of humor, great smile, good at sports, and likes long walks on the beach."

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  • How long did you talk back and forth? A day? Weeks?

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    • If you want to date, then date, going back and forth and not dating is actually not productive. People who want to hook up just text till they hook up. If you want to date, act like it.

  • Surprise, men like sex. Mind boggling information, I know.

    Just give it a shot. If it works out, great. If it doesn't, discontinue courtship.

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  • well here is whre you F*cked up. you called him HOT not Handsom so therefore he thinks your seeking sex!

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What Girls Said 4

  • depending on the how much time you've spent talking to him depends on what the answer is. if a day or two, then yeah he's sex minded. longer then that I think he was just curious, especially after you admitted to him being hot. and the response he gave you is a good sign since he didn't force the issue. go on the date. I wish you the best of luck.

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  • Sounds like a red light there? If you had talk more and shared mutual interests, yes but no for this guy. He sounds like he's just after sex.

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  • Nothing wrong with giving it a shot...

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  • I think I personally wouldn't meet up with him if it were me. Doesn't seem like appropriate conversation for him to be asking if he's serious about finding a relationship.

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