This girl in my class has been In an on off relationship with a guy for two years. She ended it about 6 months agao when she found out he was cheating on her. long story short we started hooking up and chatting and texting a lot. she was always telling me how much she likes me and wishes she had met me first. I tried not to develop feelings for her but it was hard as I've had a crush on her since the start of college, however The other day she sent me a text saying I'm not sure if I want this any more I'm confused and work is pretty heavy at college at them moment but I still wanna be mates. I think she's back in contact with her ex although he does have a girlfriend , I do no she has a lot going on in her personal life. But she's obviously not that into me or she would want me to be with her through these times and help her. My question is, am I the back up plan or the rebound? and do things ever workout If your the backup/ rebound guy? (I know I should move on and for get her but its hard I see her everyday)
Do things ever work out if your the rebound/bckup guy?
What Girls Said 2
From my own personal experience in many situations myself, she was probably just "confused" when she started "cooking and hooking up" with you, and yes, I think you could call this a "rebound." She thought by doing this, she might have found "some nice guy" to sort of "take her mind off" of her ex, so low and behold, here comes you, sweetie. You got reeled in.
When she saw you stated to develop these "over reeling" feelings, she got "cold feet", and decided not to pursue anything anymore, as to not hurt you. And, as you say, she could be back in check with the ex. Time to "reel yourself back in," as they say.
Sometimes, the "rebound relationship" works out, but often it's hard when the wounds are still fresh and you are still licking them. I always found myself "comparing John Doe to Joe Schmo" and every guy down the line, with this one relationship I had when I was a teen, followed "rebound reject" for a few years. It's hard to forget someone you have deep feelings for.
I know it isn't easy to move on and to forget her, as you do see her every day, but consider yourself lucky that you aren't this "big fish in the water" that she pulled in and can't decide if it is worth "eating " or---throwing back in again.xx
I am not saying all rebounds are like this. Nothing in life is a guarantee but death and taxes. But , with this particular "Rebound Rhonda", it would be very hard to trust her again, as how would you know if she ever would go back to her ex again or even---be seeing him behind your back?0
They worked for me! I've been with my "rebound/backup" guy for 5 years now. He's the best, and I can't believe I didn't recognize how awesome he was from the beginning. In fact, he's so great that I've tried extra hard to be a perfect girlfriend for him this whole time to sorta make up for not recognizing his perfection immediately haha.
It doesn't always happen and it's tricky to speculate in your case, because I don't know her, but yes it happens!0
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