Hi, My guy and I had a two and a half year relationship. We had a pretty rocky relationship. He was the kind who would make up stories about other women to get me all possessive. He would make up pretty dirty stories about other girls which hurt me to bits. He enjoyed the possessiveness that came from it but it hurt a LOT! I used to end up crying but he wouldn't bother. One day I called it quits because I couldn't handle all the stories anymore. He came back to me swearing he would never do that again. Things were okay from then. But he caught hold of my weakness. Whenever we had an argument, I would be the one who would end up saying sorry for the sake of keeping the relationship going. He got a kick out of all the crying and sorries I would end up saying. Instead of solving the problem, he would be all mean and harsh say things that hurt me, but I would be stupid enough to take all that and try to fix things. Like I said, he loved the attention he got after an argument. His dad was diagnosed with cancer a year into our relationship. So we decided to tell home about us. We did & our parents graciously accepted us. But his behavior didn't change. After a few months it was learned that my dad was suffering from cancer. It was a tough time for both of us. He lost his father after 8 months. My family & I supported him. But his behavior still didn't change. He would really sweet sometimes and he would be a pissed off bull when he gets angry. He told me he has anger issues and that he did try therapy. But I noticed he would be the sweetest, most caring person with other people, but his anger was only shown to me. When I spoke about his anger to our common friend, he said he has never seen my guy angry the way I described to others he was the sweetest guy ever. To me he would turn into a monster. I didn't care about it and would soak it all though I would end up crying. Both of us work in the same city away from our homes. He bought me a gold rose. The last fight was my mistake, he got shit mad. I accepted my mistake and told him that it won't be repeated and to give me the rose when he thinks it's right. After our last fight we decided to start the new year afresh forgetting the past. We both went home for Christmas. Dad was undergoing chemo, lost all his hair and appeared weak. He had boils all over. It was a difficult sight, but I had to stay strong. His mom had told me she had plans of calling up this Christmas at my home when other relatives of theirs to sort of make the relationship official. So on Christmas, his family called up home, things were all going smoothly. By evening he loses it again. He texts me that he will tell me only what is important and not everything. I reply nicely that, that would be really harmful fro us as a couple in the long run so we should tell each other everything but trust each other, but he lost it and got mad said awful stuff and blocked me. We had no contact since. He recently unblocked me, what does it mean?
Most Helpful Girl
Firstly, sweetie, I am so very sorry for all of your problems. I know what it means to have someone you love have cancer. It's hell watching them suffer, and even more trying, watching them die. My grandmother died of colon cancer one Thanksgiving morning many years ago.
I also am very sorry about his dad as well. I see you both have endured a lot of pain and anguish and strife in your lives. However, I am seeing his mental issues started way before dad died, and have continued to escalate over the two and a half year relationship you both have been in. I can tell you from working in this healthcare field, plus dealing with many members in my family who are mentally disturbed and all on medicine, that he has definite mental problems, and if not taken care of professionally, he will end up hurting someone---and I think that someone would be you.
Everything he is feeling, experiencing, has built up inside of him like this ticking time bomb, is directed mostly at you. It's as though he blames you for everything, and this includes dad's sad death. He most likely has a personality disorder issue, and there are 10 different Personality Disorders. Very complicated. It will never get better without help and medicine. But I don't know who could be the one to actually take the bull by the horns and get him some.
If he has "unblocked" you, sweetie, this is a sign that he is ready to "face his demon" again and that demon is you. He is going to contact you again, and believe me, he is ready and raring once again, for the millionth time, to put on the boxing gloves and go for another round. Don't fall for it.
He most definitely will contact you again and when he does, your best and most safe bet, would be to "nicely" tell him that being a couple now and in the future would be harmful, and that this relationship will never work
The decision has to be up to you, but I feel, from my experience with people like him, you are in danger. He has it in for you big time, and you never know when "the final blow" would come and could be "rockier" than you could ever imagine.0