Could his motive be to get me to bed?

OK I dated this guy for a while and when I refused to sleep with him because he was pushy we ended up not talking for a long time and now he is back to make a long story short could his motive be to get me into bed or what guys some advise he seems sincere about getting together


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Definitely a tricky situation .. How long were you guys dating at first? How long was the break? Has he taken you on dates now? I'll tell you about a similar situation I went though and maybe that can help you out:

    I met a guy about 2 years ago. He was amazingly nice and sweet to me. Dinner dates often. He would surprise me often. One night he told me he was going to pick me up and take me somewhere but refused to tell me where. Turned out he was taking me to NYC for dinner and to see the Christmas tree. I was amazed at how nice he was to me considering the fact that we hadn't slept together! That went out for about 3 months. Then I knew that he would want to have sex soon... it's a normal expectation. However, as nice as he was I just wasn't ready for a relationship as I was still very heartbroken from my ex.So, He started to back off after one night I invited him into my apartment. We watched TV and made out but when he tried to take my pants off I stopped him and said I'm not ready. And then I would hear from him every 3 months or so. A couple times I met him with him because we happen to be out in the same place at the same time..Then in November (2 years later) we decided to go out together. At that time my heart break was way over lol. We ended the night and the next night we hung out again and had sex..

    Although I didn't think I wanted a relationship with him I still wanted to be respected and I still desired his friendship. I thought maybe it would be a FWB thing... well we ended up having sex two more times and then he totally disappeared ... I told him how I felt and he pretty much didn't care.

    Then we saw each other out on NYE and I ignored him. He texted me like "oh you can't say hi on NYE" and I responded with "whos this" ... he was furious.. lol

    I wasn't heartbroken over this but honestly I wish I didn't waste my body on him.. He used me.. and the friendship I thought we had.. was all fake.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think this is hard to answer for certain.

    Simply because he might've stopped talking to you because of how he took what you said, if he took it as you not wanting to sleep with him with no particular reason as to why, he might just think you find him unattractive, its quite a sensitive subject for us too.

    If he was genuinely annoyed (as it sounds from the post) simply because you wouldn't sleep with him when he asked for a reason that is good (in this case if you believe the reason is good enough, then it is, he either accepts it or moves on).

    There's so many possible circumstances but if you think the second example I gave is more likely - and you have reason to belive that, then I think he may be looking for sex, but people change with time, its really hard to know, just keep an eye on it, you seem interested in him so why not give it a go?

    You're still in control of your sex life, so if he does anything you're not comfortable with - tell him.

    Best of Luck!

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    • thank you for the insight I will and I will take into consideration that he might have change or He is still the same guy

What Girls Said 1

  • his goal could be to get you in bed. guys can be manipulative to get what they want (so can girls of course but that's irrelevant in this situation). if you mean get together as in start dating, I think you should date him why not? but make him wait a while for sex. if that's his goal, he will eventually give up if you don't give in. he will start to get frustrated or stop talking to you again. the best way to find out if that's his motive is to make him wait.

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    • He want to start dating and I don't plan on giving it up that easily until I am sure what his intentions are this time

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