This is not a 'should men pay the bill on a first/whatever date' question.
I have extensive experience of what is essentially paying a woman for a successful date, ie paying her to meet for drinks then spend the night with me - this question is also not directly about this.
What I've realized is that while I enjoy what I said above I'm now beginning to use it more to alleviate loneliness than to gain pleasure. I'm essentially paying more for the date/company than the sex, which is obviously not a great idea when that company is 100% certain to leave in the morning and only see you again if you'll pay again. It also gets very expensive. So I've devised a new idea...
I'll pay a guy (or girl) to get me dates using online dating.
I think I'm hopeless at getting dates because I'm physically unattractive, a lot of people (in real life, on here and other parts of the internet) then tell me its because I don't have 'game'. I'm not convinced that 'game' exists at all, I think flirting is a consequence of mutual appreciation of each others appearance, not some magic lines used by the guy. However if I'm right, I'll either lose nothing (since I'd only offer to pay per date), or end up meeting girls who are into me because of my looks, without having to deal with the trauma that comes with getting loads of rejections and flakes along the way.
I'l add that I've actually always been pretty successful on dates, all bar 2 of the girls I've dated I've seen again and more than 50% of them have ended up in my bed. Essentially it is possible that I'm not a terrible human being, but actually just make poor first impressions, especially when only given 30 seconds - 5 minutes before I'm cut off. Getting dates has always been the part of I have found difficult.
I'll also add that there would be certain limitations in what they can change (no saying I'm a millionaire, or a doctor, or dying of cancer and just want to go on one date before I die). They would actually have to pretend to be me. Obviously I'll also need to see the chat logs before meeting anyone lol.
Can anyone see any problems with this plan?
Does anyone know a good place to find guys with 'game' who are also broke?
Anybody got anything else to add?
Most Helpful Guy
TBH, if you're pretty good once on a date, you must have a fair bit of 'game'. Your problem seems like just initial shyness.
If your goal is to use online dating more, my gut is you need to do a couple of things:
- Get a great profile. I don't know that you need to pay someone for this, but definitely get input from female friends etc, and tell them you need them to be honest, not just say 'oh its great'.
- Consider what sites to use. I've known people to have more success with paid sites, but it depends on he girls you're going after.
- Message lots of women. The guy I know with the most online dating success would ask women for a date in message -1-. His view was that many if not most online profiles were flakes looking for attention, and there was no point wasting time with them. Girls actually looking to meet guys -like- the fact you're interested in meeting. I think his message would basically say 'I saw your profile, you looked interesting, liked X. Would like to meet for coffee or a drink and get to know you a little more/see how we get along/etc'.
- Most messages will be dead ends. That's how it is. This guy was setting up like 5-10 first dates a -week- ... but probably only one in 10 women he contacted would lead to a date. That's on a paid site, which probably has even fewer women just looking to flirt for attention.
- I don't think you need to pay someone to send the first message. Its not that complicated.
- Any woman who responds is probably beyond the point where you're getting stuck currently.
- Remember its not your job to impress them. Its to decide if you are interested in them. They will worry about whether they like you. If not, sooner you know the better so you can move along.